I knew from situations from my past that the things that intrigued me, especially sexually, were different than the things that intrigued most others.
I guess I just didnt know the depth my own curiosity even went...
I knew from my past that if I became jealous it was either well warranted or I was intentionally made to feel that way; Which typically took quite a bit to accomplish. I'm so open minded it often ends up being a downfall rather than something positive.
I also knew (although aware the feeling could be situational, or not always the same) that I enjoyed watching my partner engaging in physically intimate acts with people other than myself. Every since realizing these things about myself, I've been on a mission to figure out just to what extent my enjoyment or pleasure in this aspect goes. Is there a line at which is too far, that doesnt make me feel good anymore? and if so, when exactly do i know that line has been crossed?
In all honesty It wasn't until you that I had realized this wasn't just another thing that got me turned on, and it also wasn't just something I wasn't really into, like some of the things you may watch on a porn but wouldnt actually in person yourself do; Nor did I realize it wasnt just a passing lustful thought or subject purely only for the intentions of getting me off...
When it became something I thought about more often than not, and something I put more time and thought into,...being curious and wandering about, and enjoying thinking of the possibilities of what was in the details of it all, that's when i realized this was something I may actually want.