Birthdays were stupid anyway, especially at her age. At forty-four, you didn't need anyone making a fuss over you.
That was what Tess tried to tell herself, anyway, as she brushed and brushed her hair until the red strands whispered like silk with every stroke. Usually the repetitiveness of the action and the just-out-of-reach childhood memories that brushing her hair evoked were enough to calm her thoughts, but not today.
She hadn't expected Eli to bring her breakfast in bed — she knew that of late his work had been more frantic than ever — but she hadn't expected him to rush off so early either. He claimed he had a big presentation at noon and needed to help his team prepare.
She didn't doubt it. But still.
Tess carried her coffee to her desk, feeling at least a little boost after slipping into her newest pair of house shorts, soft black ones with red lace around the legs. Impossibly cute.
And short enough that she'd only ever wear them when working at home.
Underneath she sported white cotton bikinis with "Happy Birthday" printed in rainbow font. She hadn't been able to resist buying them when she saw the pair while browsing online the week before, and she knew Eli would like them too.
He really did love her, even if he had slipped away on her birthday morning without so much as lingering for a few minutes of cuddling.
Tess tried to concentrate on her work, but Eli's early departure ate and ate at her. They were planning a special dinner, and he was a fabulous cook, and he probably had something else special planned for her as well, but none of that seemed to matter as all the old insecurities came flooding back.
She was the same awkward child she'd always been, well into her forties or not. The same one the kids had teased. The same one a father couldn't love. The same one who had experienced one bad thing after another for the whole stretch of her life.
Because she always would be that child.
Because she deserved it. Scorn and feelings of worthlessness.
Her oldest friends.
The thoughts would not go away, no matter how she tried to tamp them down, and Tess was sitting at her desk, her legs pulled up under her, battling time and memories when the doorbell rang.
Must be an early delivery, she thought, and she felt the momentary jolt of excitement she always did when a new article of clothing arrived. Something pretty and new might push the thoughts away.
She bought more than she should online, but then it made her happy. And she didn't see why she should deny herself that little thrill when her brain so often turned against her.
For the life of her, though, Tess couldn't remember having ordered anything in the past few days, so before opening the door to see what the package contained she pulled back the curtain of the narrow window by the door and peeked out, just in case someone was actually at the door.
Eli stood outside.
What the hell?
Tess threw open the door, and he smiled his caring smile.
"I'm back," he said.
She went into his arms and disappeared within his embrace, overwhelmed and thankful to see him. "What about your presentation?"
He pushed her back enough to look into her eyes. "That's why I got in so early, so I could get things moving and sneak back to see you."
"But you have to go right back, don't you? I mean, it's almost—"
