Departing Devotion Ch 01

-Jan 11-

Hubby and I had sex for the first time this year.

Why did we go eleven days without sex?

Whatever reason may exist, it's lost on me.

I wanted him badly New Year's morning

and have thought of him lustfully most days since.

When I tried to hint, he didn't respond.

When I tried to initiate, he found reasons to retreat.

I worry he's having an affair, but I know he isn't.

Maybe he's not attracted to me, but I know my sex appeal.

He's claimed his drive is just lower, but I don't buy it.

Finally, tonight, I'd had enough.

He was lying in bed dozing off, per his usual.

Awake and horny, I considered another clit flicking.

"But no," I thought, "He's my husband. He has duties.

He's going to perform those duties for me. End of."

I rolled over and pulled him off his side.

He began his objections, but I told him, "Shut up."

It felt amazing to say it, so I expanded it:

"Shut up while I fuck you."

I began rocking my bare lips against his package.

The silky boxer briefs felt smooth and pleasant.

His chest was firm beneath my hands.

Sufficiently wet, I moved to remove his boxers.

He wasn't hard.

Unperturbed, I took his limpness into my hands.

Once it woke, I took the soft rod into my mouth.

I don't give him head, but I needed him to firm up quickly.

So I sucked, pulling vitality into it until it was rock hard.

Then, I retook my place on top.

He slid easily into me.

"Suck my tit." I told him. He obliged.

I was starting to finally get that pleasure I'd needed.

"Suck the other one." He obeyed and switched.

It was quite nice doling out orders to him.

"Stop sucking and lick. Caress the other one."

I moaned softly, enjoying the moment and edging closer.

Then I sensed him beginning to lose himself.

Well, shit. It's no wonder; he was pathetically out of practice.

He pulled himself out of me, to my frustration.

I can't get pregnant, so what the fuck was he doing???

But, being a kind soul, I caressed him as he came,

his pulsating cock erupting between our navels.

Then I slid my clit on that dwindling shaft,

grinding like there was no tomorrow.

I finally climaxed, my entire midsection convulsing;

my hands pushing him hard down into the mattress.

Honestly, I imagined drowning him for underperforming.

With my throat fully open, I moaned deeply at the climax,

and fell back to my side, gasping.

He got up and went to wipe himself, then returned and slept.

I laid there awhile, satisfied yet seriously unsatisfied.

On a random whim, I started this diary.

-Jan 23-

We had sex again. It was terrible again.

It's always terrible nowadays.

Lately, I actually prefer my toy over him.

It wasn't always like this. He used to be a machine.

It's like he's doing it on purpose.

Certainly, that can't be the case.

Five years ago, he could make me cum in my sleep.

I don't know what's going on, but something is.

I just pray to God, it isn't an affair.

I love him with all my heart, and I respect him.

He's a good man, a good husband and father.

I can't imagine our marriage being rocked like that.

I can't imagine our bond being stepped in on.

So, I'm trying more these days to be sexual.

I'm trying daily to turn him on.

I've never been a freak or a slut.

But if that's what he needs from me, then okay.

-Mar 12-

Months have gone by. Our sex life is better.

I'm sluttier now than I've ever been comfortable with.

That seems to have done the trick. We seem fine.

This evening, he fucked me in the pantry,

as the kids waited for dinner.

I had dared him a game of seven minutes in heaven,

a stupid high school game... which he'd never heard of.

Five minutes later he was past the point of no return;

hopelessly pumping cum into my cunt.

I gripped the spaghetti noodles in one hand

and his hair in the other, my back pinned to the wall.

Minutes later, as the pot of water came to boil;

I smiled at the feeling of his cum leaking from me.

Yeah, we're good.

-Apr 23-

Well, he finally dropped the bombshell.

Hubby wants me to find a boyfriend;

larger than him and better in bed.

I think it's weird as hell and disturbing.

I've never thought of other men that way;

it's difficult to want someone else.

I worry what it could do to our marriage.

Personally, I need actual love to want sex.

Another man's little gifts and romantic memories,

might pull me away from hubby.

He says he's fine with the challenge.

He has no idea how easily I could be won.

If I let myself go, I could be taken from him,

and I don't want that.

He has always been enough for me, sexually,

a comfortable size and a perfect touch.

But, as he says, do I really know what perfect is,

if he's only the second man I've ever known?

Am I truly choosing to come home to him,

if there's not really another choice.

Logically, I see his point, but I think it's a stupid one.

I choose him over "the field."

He doesn't see it that way. He thinks I've just settled.

In my heart, I think he might be right.

-Jul 7-

We had sex tonight. It was back to terrible again.

I'm awake writing this as he snores.

We were in the middle of it, well on our way.

He said the strangest thing and threw me off.

"Who are you thinking of me as?"

What the hell kind of question is that, in the heat of it?

I'm thinking of you, as you, ya dumbass.

I didn't say it out loud of course, maybe I should've.

What the fuck? I'm so angry right now.

He's my husband and he's a really good one,

yet he wants me to imagine against that.

Does he really want me to not want him?

I'm confused. I'm upset.

I'm giving up on this damn diary.

I'm giving up on everything. I don't care anymore.

-Feb 18-

It's been seven months since I've written.

Hubby and I have had some talks.

It's taken a long time for me to come around,

and, I finally have, incredibly.

Soon his fantasy will become reality.

We took a month to find the right someone else.

We did finally find him.

I can't help but blush when he flirts and makes his moves.

His moves are the perfect balance of exotic, but not ridiculous.

He's just smooth as hell and comfortable with it.

My left-hand diamond doesn't faze him as we chat.

When I catch his eyes following my curves, it turns me on.

He's funny and cute, easy to be with.

He's taller than hubby with a nicer build.

It was just a meet up, but I agreed to a date.

-Feb 20-

Tonight, was my first date with boyfriend.

Hubby watched the kids and I went out.

Everything was perfect, so I let myself go.

I let the boyfriend take me, like I've never felt.

I don't even know how to write about it.

I only know this simple fact:

I'd never ever have gotten a fuck like that in my marriage.

So, it starts, just as hubby wanted,

just as I'd worried, the two of them sharing me.

-Mar 10-

I was drinking wine, a little too much,

when hubby casually admitted he's smallish.

"I know what average is and I know I'm an inch short of it."

I know he's than an inch short.

I smirked and laughed to myself, outloud.

I was honestly laughing at him, a bully's mean laugh.

The wine made it arsher than I'd intended.

Doubling down, I said plainly, "Your dick is tiny,"

Again, the wine made it harsh, my taunt delivered with laughter.

He tried to smile and looked away.

It made me feel a little bad.

But it was the truth and I'd known it for years.

For years, I'd barely felt him in me.

Many times, I only acted only like it was deep.

It was no problem, and still wasn't, because I loved him,

but, it was also devilishly fun to rub in the truth.

I showed him a picture of boyfriend, so hung and thick.

The admiration on his face surprised me.

He was legitimately intimidated by that cock.

I can't blame him. It really is big and thick.

He laid beside me and said he's happy I get that cock.

"Seriously?" I asked, surprised.

"Absolutely. You'd never had gotten it, if not for me."

It was true. That wasn't his cock, but I had him to thank.

-June 3-

I've become more comfortable with dirty little things.

I came home with boyfriend's load leaking.

The lining of my panties soaked;

another man's cream in my pussy.

I came again, when hubby happily lapped it clean.

It felt so strange to me and I asked him how it felt for him.

He showed me that he'd cum in his boxers,

as he'd been down there eating me clean.

I realized then that I'd completely underestimated his fetish.

We talked about pictures of me that he wanted boyfriend to take.

Me, in various poses, being used, being pleased.

A month ago, we made a fun little scavenger list of pics.

It was our side game, that boyfriend didn't know about.

Two weeks later, hubby had three pics checked off.

It felt strangely fun, being collected by him.

Once he had five, he started a blog with the pics.

Even with my face obscured, I felt utterly exposed,

but I can't deny the audience boosted my self-confidence.

The followers start making requests, extending our list.

At that point, I checked out. That's hubby's game now.

He gave me an update tonight. Apparently, I'm checking boxes.

Apparently, I'm a star. Alright then.

-Aug 5-

The end of a rough work week, as I came home Friday evening.

Hubby was in the bedroom, wondering about a date.

I just wasn't in the mood for him or his little dick.

A late night with boyfriend, having his way sounded like perfection.

I told hubby I needed a "me" evening, just out on my own.

I told him I was gonna go shop for kid clothes.

He was disappointed, but let me go.

I immediately texted boyfriend that I needed a "him" night.

He replied that he could give me an "all" night, if I wanted.

I'm a good wife and I deserved a thick hammering.

Boyfriend had wined and dined me, and even paid for kid clothes.

At midnight hubby received a picture of my legs spread.

My pussy had waited hours to be pleased.

It was just starting to open its pretty bloom.

"I spread them so easily for boyfriend," the text said tauntingly.

"Don't stay up for me. I'll see you in the morning."

At 1:30, I sent another pic of my pussy totally used:

My hips were in the air, since he'd done me facedown.

My tight tunnel was still gaped from the fuck.

My lips were wet, spread and dripping white cum.

"I know you get off when I get pumped full."

"Here's something to jerk yourself with. Have fun!"

When I got home, my favorite thong had been splattered,

with a large load of hubby's cum.

It was sitting on the bathroom counter with a love note.

-Sep 10-

Hubby only knows snippets of the freak I turn into.

Boyfriend has brought it out of me.

I do things hubby could never get me to do.

I don't tell him; I want it to be secret.

Besides, he hasn't earned the right to know me like that.

Boyfriend does things to me, pleasures me in ways hubby can't.

So, boyfriend enjoys side of me that hubby has never known.

It's a different me than the me he married.

It's a me he can't have; only boyfriend can have that me.

It's the me that sucks cock for fun, glad to swallow every drop.

Hubby has given up on asking for head;

he doesn't even get it on his birthday.

Now, I smile when I feel boyfriend's cum pulsing out;

coating my throat and running down to my tummy.

I love for him to cum on my face, tits, and ass.

The sensation of those hot drops of ecstasy.

Hubby has to finish in his hand.

Hubby only gets me in the bedroom.

My other side loves climaxing in public.

Last date, it was in the shadows next to a canal.

A quieted orgasm as couples across the water were oblivious.

The time before, it was in his car after shopping.

I rode him in the backseat and he finished in me.

Hubby was in the same lot waiting to pick me up

to go to his parents' house for dinner.

At the table, I could still feel the wetness in my pussy

and boyfriend's cum soaking my panties.

Hubby had no idea about any of it.

He thinks I love boyfriend's big dick and that's all.

He doesn't realize I love the woman I get to be.

I love the time I get to spend with boyfriend, feeling free and sexy.

I love him for awakening my sexual side, in ways I never knew.

What started as a basic attraction, has become much more.

I don't tell hubby any of this, but it's all there all the time.

I still love hubby completely and I'll never leave him.

I suppose he saw it coming and wasn't worried.

I guess he knew how much love I was capable of.

Plenty for two very different men,

neither of them afraid of the other.

-Sep 22-

Boyfriend visited secretly today, perfectly timed.

Hubby was mowing in the backyard.

The kids were also out there, playing gleefully.

I got fucked in front of the kitchen sink,

looking at my family out the back window.

He lifted my house dress and he spread my legs.

His strong hands pulled my panties down slowly.

I bit my lip as his girth made itself known.

He simply can't be taken lightly, nor dryly.

But he kindly caressed, until I was fully wet.

He entered me; always so large that I skip a breath.

My jaw dropped as I watched hubby out back.

He just watched his mower making rows.

and never looked up to see me getting plowed.

Boyfriend pulled my dress up over my tits.

I gripped the faucet as they swung over the dishes.

My eyes stayed forward the whole time,

only closing at particularly deep moments.

Hubby kept pushing the mower, unaware.

I kept pushing myself back onto that massive shaft.

Once I'd opened, it felt absolutely riveting.

I could not get enough of that huge, hard, God-like unit.

Over and over again, it was thrust forward into me.

It filled my space, then exitied and immediately rammed into me again

The pace and intensity, uh, uh, savage, almost furious.

My pleading cries and whimpering "Oh fucks" were lost on him.

My loud hig-pitched moans went unheard over the mower outside.

I was aching with joy, turned on further by the deception.

Juices from my pussy flowed out and tickled my inner thigh.

Through the long fuck, I just watched hubby's ignorant pacing.

Finally, boyfriend grunted and gave a long groan.

He pushed far into me, throbbing and stayed in me a long time

His strong hands held my ribs tightly,

as his sharp breaths sucked in and out.

I licked my lips, thinking of his perfect white cum entering me.

Hubby was pushing the dead mower to the shed.

"Try to hold it in. Surprise him with it."

He slid out and pulled my panties back into place.

My dress fell back down to cover my body.

Then he was gone, without another word.

I'd never even turned around to see his face.

It was like being taken by a ghost.

I felt glowy and warm, radiating with sexual energy.

I went to the bedroom and laid down, trying to hold it all inside.

A lot leaked into the silky fabric of my panties.

Hubby came in shortly after and sat at the edge of the bed.

My thighs were exhausted but still tightly holding his messy surprise.

"I'm gonna take a shower. You good?" he asked.

"Well, I have something here that needs your attention."

He turned and I spread my legs to show him, hoping it was obvious.

It was. Hubby peeled my panties off to reveal the gooey mess.

I tried to push what was still inside and felt it oozing out.

I had no idea how generous a load I'd been given.

It came out and I saw hubby's face stunned.

Such an obedient dirty man, he fell into my crotch

and took his time licking every fold clean.

And I enjoyed a nice orgasm as he worked.

His hair tangled in my fingers as I kept I his face in the spot.

When he was finished, he got up and went to shower.

I followed him to kindly wash his cock,

He appreciated the soapy hand job, but didn't cum.

I felt guilty about never giving him head, so I did.

It was quite easy, since his dick is small, and he came quick.

I swallowed his last throb and thought of the irony.

We both had bellies full of cum.