They'd been seeing each other weekly for three months, talking online in between, both testing the waters, both uncertain and scared of hurt yet again, both with their own demons. Finally he began to show he was interested, it was her key to give her heart, that it would be safe Headlong she fell; again, foolishly she repeated mistakes of past failures, giving all of her, losing her own identity. Seeking acceptance from another when she should only seek it from herself. Some painful memories were triggered in him and he began to pull away. The more he retreated the more insecure she felt and the more she clung, the emotions and memories of past rejections stunned her, she thought she had dealt with them. Lowering herself and hating herself even more, she tried to hang on, the anxiety eating her up. Finally he called an end to it. Finally she accepted and threw herself into life on her own yet again. Telling herself daily she loved and accepted herself, nurturing herself as others in her childhood had failed her.
Months later when her anxiety had finally eased, when she had finally accepted he would never call and her pretend efforts at happiness and stability were no longer pretend, he contacted her. He wanted to see her again. She didn't question why, she didn't allow herself to get excited. Calmly she silenced the doubts as she dressed, her newly slim figure attractive in her new clothes. He sensed her distance when they met. He noted her lack of questions but he too was happy for once to not think or question.
