Sunday morning, a few days after Julie disappeared from our lives after almost successfully blackmailing me, I finally approached Debbie about it. I was positive Deb had something to do with her disappearance, but the only clue I had was that her parents newly acquired dog happened to look exactly like Julie's. It wasn't much to go on, but it was all I could think about to the point of distraction.
Debbie was in the kitchen cooking breakfast for us. She was wearing a t-shirt and loose sweatpants, and had her long curly red hair pulled up on the top of her head in a messy bun. She had no make up on, was wearing her glasses, and had a freshly lit Marlboro Red 100 dangling from the corner of her mouth as she was preparing bacon and eggs for us. The smoke from her cheek hollowing drags was exhaled in thick plumes from her nostrils in regular intervals. She would argue the fact that I found her absolutely gorgeous at this moment.
I set the table, and poured us each a cup of coffee. She made our plates, sat down and smiled as she took her last drag. We ate in silence for a few minutes. I wasn't exactly sure how to broach the subject.
Finally, I said to her "I don't know how to ask this without sounding accusing, but... what happened to Julie?" Debbie stopped chewing, and looked at me with a bit of guilt on her face. It was then I was certain. "Please don't lie to me. We've always been open with each other." She looked down and swallowed the food in her mouth.
"I made sure she would never hurt us, or anyone else, ever again." Debbie replied, still looking down at her plate. She apparently lost her appetite, as she pushed her plate away, and grabbed her cigarettes. I just stared at her as she lit one up, took a nervous double pump drag, and held it in for about 10 seconds before exhaling it up towards the ceiling.
As she was taking another deep drag I asked her calmly "How did you do that? Is she still... alive?"
Debbie turned to me as she exhaled "If you want to call it that." and she gave me a little evil smile. She saw that I was not too happy about her answer, and lost the smile quickly. I kept looking at her, and she started becoming a little uncomfortable. She took yet another deep drag, and said "I fixed the problem, and that's all you need to know." She exhaled, pushed her chair back, got up, and headed for the bathroom. "I need a shower." she said, as she walked down the hallway.
I watched her go, but we both knew I wasn't going to drop it. I lit up a moment later when I heard the shower turn on, and a million different scenarios started running through my mind. When I heard the shower end a few minutes later, I got up and cleaned the table. As I was finishing cleaning up the kitchen, I started smelling marijuana coming from the bedroom. I took a deep breath, and walked down to the room. She was sitting on the bed with a towel wrapped around her, and her damp hair hanging down, sucking on her bowl. She inhaled deeply, and looked up at me with her eyes glazing over.
She said, "I know you're not going to let this go, so give me a few minutes. I'll tell you everything. I don't think you're going to like it though. But I did what I thought I needed to do." and she took another deep hit.
I gestured toward the bowl, and she handed it to me. I took two hits before handing it back to her. "I'll be in the living room." I said, and walked out.
Ten minutes later she walked out with her almost dried hair pulled back in a ponytail, and wearing only her glasses and a bathrobe. She sat down, lit up a cigarette, and for the next twenty minutes told me everything that happened a few days ago. How she hired Ron to kidnap Julie, and turn her into a junky crack whore. How Ron taught Debbie how to shoot her up with heroin, and smoke crack. The piercings, the tattoos, and the torture. The gangbang that she and Julie had with Ron's buddies. Everything. She left nothing out. My eyes went wide two minutes into the conversation, and stayed that way for the entire narrative.
When she was done, I had no idea what to say. I was totally flabbergasted. Debbie looked at me tentatively. "Are you ok?" she asked me a moment later.
I turned to her "No! I'm not ok! What the fuck is wrong with you?! How could you possibly think this is ok?!" I was madder than I think I had ever been in my life.
Deb sat back and looked at me with no expression on her face "I'd do it again, if someone tried to fuck with either of us."
I got a bit scared. I knew she had changed when she became a smoke slut, but this was borderline psychotic. I took a deep breath to calm down a little before saying "I... I love you, but I think you may need some... help." I said slowly. "I know she tried to fuck up our lives, but... that was way over the line. Don't you think? I mean... you would've told me what you were doing if you didn't think that."
Debbie saw my concern and said "I didn't know what else to do. Maybe you're right. I got way too much enjoyment from it." She grabbed another cigarette, and lit up.
"This isn't the first time you went too far. You went overboard with me and Al as well." I said to her.
She looked down at her hands, and watched the smoke drifting from her cigarette. "I know, and I'm sorry. What do you think I should do?" she asked, and then looked back up at me with tears in her eyes. "I can't help myself sometimes. I'm not blaming you, but I've been this way since you turned me into a smoker. I lost almost all of my inhibitions, and I get pleasure from seeing people suffer when they don't see things my way. I don't think I'm a bad person. Well... maybe I am. I don't know." She took a deep drag as the tears started running down her face.
"I kind of had an idea you had something to do with it. So... I made an appointment for you to see a psychiatrist." I said. Her eyes got big as she exhaled, and she was about to protest, but stopped short. She looked back down. "I think it might help." I added.
"When?" is all she asked.
"Tomorrow morning at 9am. His name is Doctor Hardick. Rod Hardick." I told her.
She looked up quickly, and started laughing. "You're joking?!"
I smiled, and said "Nope. That's really his name." and then I chuckled a little as well.
Debbie got serious again, and said "I'll go. Maybe you're right. But what do I say to him? If I tell him everything, he might have me arrested! Or worse, committed!!"
I shook my head. "Doctor-Patient confidentiality. He may suggest long term therapy, but he can't do much more than that." I told her reassuringly. She looked wary, but shook her head yes a moment later. She took a final drag, and put out her cigarette.
I smiled and said "Thank you for doing this for me. I really do love you."
She sat a little closer and hugged me. "I love you too. I feel a bit stressed. Want to help me relieve some of it?" she sat back, and looked up at me with a small smile.
I looked in her eyes and said "That's what I'm here for." and she laughed.