It was 1892 and I, David Shaw, then aged 19 answered an advertisement in a local newspaper for position of 'messenger boy' in a medium sized family firm serving local households in and around the Borough of Putney in south west London. The work would involve bicycling, delivering messages, small envelopes and collecting monies owed.
The advertisement called for someone who was clean, without facial hair, well presented and in good health. Unusually it asked for someone who was between five foot and five foot two inches in height and of slender build. I fitted the description down to the last letter. Although comparatively small and skinny I prided myself on my appearance and general cleanliness.
I entered the portals of 'Maynard and Son, Purveyors to Gentlewomen and the Aristocracy' on Upper Richmond Road, Putney and asked to speak to Mr. Herbert Maynard.
Mr Maynard was a small dapper man in his late forties only an inch or so taller than I and smelled heavily of 'Eau de Cologne'.
"Come in Mr.Shaw, do come in and take a seat," he said to me in a somewhat cautious and apprehensive way. "And what pray, made you reply to my advertisement in the Putney Recorder?"
"Well sir I am currently without work and I appear to fit the size and age category described and I can also ride a bicycle," I blurted, trying to appear enthusiastic.
Mr Maynard asked me to stand up and remove my shirt.
"Hmmm." he said looking me up and down slowly. He felt my shoulders and squeezed the muscles on my arms. "May I see your teeth?" he enquired. I smiled at him insanely as he looked inside my mouth. "And can I inspect your tongue?" he asked, clearly satisfied with everything he'd seen of me so far.
I stuck my tongue out and he smiled as he noticed its length. It was a family trait that although the Shaws were rather short their tongues were rather long.
Mr. Maynard asked if I had had any contagious diseases or suffered from any 'transmitted' maladies and I assured him that I was in the very pink of health.
He handed me a note to take to Doctor Rupert Jeffrey's consulting rooms on Oakhill Road. I left him with the understanding that if I passed a simple medical examination I would be allowed to join the company as messenger for the area north of the river, beyond Putney Bridge.
Having passed my medical examination I was sent with my first message to deliver personally to Lady Philomena Onslow in Chester Court.
I arrived at exactly three o'clock, as instructed, at the imposing white stone and brick terraced Georgian house and rang the doorbell. I handed the housemaid my card and she quickly admonished me for using the main entrance and told me I should always use the side entrance which was reserved for tradesmen.
I parked my bike in the 'area' and nipped around to the smaller entrance. The housekeeper greeted me and told me that her ladyship would see me shortly. She led me into the entrance hall and told me to wait. The housekeeper was a severe looking woman who was clearly used to no nonsense. After several minutes a bell rang in the rear of the house, somewhere below stairs.
"That will be her ladyship now. Please follow me and do only address her as 'm'am' and not as 'your ladyship'. Do you understand?" I replied that I did.
I followed the housekeeper upstairs and admired her large derriere which swivelled provocatively from side to side. She held up the skirts of her dark grey dress to one side and revealed the merest tantalising glimpse of starched pure white petticoat lace as she negotiated the stairs. I was transfixed by her movements.
"I gather from Blanchard that you are from Maynard's; we had one last year and he was totally unsuitable. He lasted only for one session with Lady Philomena. We eventually sent a letter complaining of his lack of finesse."
I could not make out what the housekeeper was talking about. As far as I was concerned I was delivering a message personally, by hand to Lady Onslow.
She took me into a small ante-chamber where I noticed everything was black and gold lacquered with swirling dragons and other Chinese motifs.
"Here are your clothes Chang," said the housekeeper pulling open a drawer and handing me a red and gold silk waist coat which I immediately put on over my shirt.
"No Chang you don't wear a shirt underneath it; it is to worn against your skin. Now get undressed quickly," she admonished in curt tones.
I took off my shirt and put on the waistcoat. It was quite long and reached midway down my thighs. It had no buttons or ties and barely met at the front. I noticed it had two strange straps which hung down at the back. I'd say that they were large enough to get an arm or even a leg through them.
"Excuse Miss but why do you keep calling me Chang?"
"You will address me as Miss Prinddle and you are called Chang as that is the name Lady Philomena calls all her 'underskirt boys'," she continued, surveying my face which remained quizzical.
"Did they tell you nothing at Maynard's? Anyone would conclude that it was your first day with them," Miss Prinddle looked me up and down and told me to finish with my undressing.
"Well off with you trousers, underpants and socks, quickly now," she clearly was in complete control and I was forced to comply. All my instincts told me that I was not there to deliver a message but more likely to perform some sort of a service.
When I had stripped down to my underpants I became very embarrassed. Miss Prinddle appeared however to be used to such recalcitrance so in one fell swoop she whipped off my underwear and threw it on a pile with my other clothes.
"Where are the trousers to match this waistcoat?" I enquired innocently.
"Trousers? Trousers?" she laughed.
"You won't need any trousers until you have finished. Understood?" she said as she knocked lightly on the drawing room door.
"Come," came a haughty, educated voice from within.
I entered the room very much aware that my penis was beginning to stir and was becoming prominent through the opening in my new waistcoat.
There in front of me sipping tea was a largish woman in her late forties or early fifties.
She was sitting on a very sumptuous ornate sofa full of silk cushions and Indian shawls.
Her elaborate dress was of black shiny satin and reached down to the floor. I was later to learn that she was still in 'half-mourning' for her husband, Lord Bertram Onslow, who had died in India.
Her dress was vast and noticed; by the way it rustled and moved that it was clearly full of silk petticoats.