Note- this story does feature themes that some may find triggering: power imbalance, mention of past emotional abuse, & brief (like one sentence) reference to the death of a parent. With that out of the way, writing this was an interesting experience, It has been a long time since I've written anything in 1st person, so hopefully, it's not complete shit. I welcome and appreciate any constructive feedback.
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"Taylor?"
I startled at the sound of Dr. Stone's deep voice, jumping in surprise as I found him standing only a few feet away, his brow arched in question as he gazed down at me. I felt my cheeks heat with embarrassment at the realization that he must have called my name several times. Lost in my thoughts, obsessing over the events from a few nights ago, I hadn't even heard his office door open or noticed him approaching the waiting room. I was sitting in one of the room's oversized leather chairs, the same one I always occupied while awaiting my therapy session with Dr. Stone. His entire office was designed with comfort in mind --furniture in varying shades of red, brown, beige, and cream, complemented by walls of sage green and navy blue. Not surprisingly, he was a psychologist after all.
"Oh! Sorry, Dr. Stone. I've been a little out of it the past few days." I apologized. I could only envision the pink flush of embarrassment that accentuated my fair skin.
"It's okay, Taylor," he reassured me with a warm smile, delivering his next words with a wink. "What better place to talk about what's on your mind?"
His wink only served to make me blush again, and when he turned around to lead me to his office, I couldn't stop my gaze from trailing down to his perfect ass. Dr. Stone was an extremely handsome man. His gray slacks and navy sweater hugged his body perfectly, hinting at the hard muscles beneath. He was tall, much taller than me, and I was 5'7. His hair was my favorite feature of his, contrasting with the rest of his well-groomed appearance--unruly golden blond curls brushing just above the collar of his sweater, with untamed whips escaping to flutter around his forehead. He had sharp cheekbones and perfectly proportioned pink lips. Lips that always had me wondering just how soft they would feel against my skin. I wasn't certain how old he was, but I would have guessed no older than 35.
He paused just before his open door, gesturing for me to enter first before closing it behind us. As I swept by him, a hint of his cedar and sandalwood cologne reached me, sending a shiver straight down to my lower core. I was tempted to press closer for another inhale. If only getting caught sniffing my therapist wouldn't make me look like a total creeper.
I sat in my usual seat on his light gray couch, the fabric caressing the skin of my legs as I settled alongside the arm. The action made my cotton dress ride up, exposing the bare skin of my thighs as I crossed my legs. I was a little embarrassed, wondering if he noticed as I nervously tugged the hem of the cotton down. I felt my underwear dampen at the mere thought of him checking me out, adding shame on top of the embarrassment I had been feeling.
Dr. Stone sat across from me in his charcoal armchair, grabbing the leather journal he took notes in during our sessions from the end table beside him. I thought I caught his green eyes lingering on the exposed skin of my thighs, but figured I was probably just "projecting" my thoughts--something Dr. Stone says I do often, in various situations and people in my everyday life, but mostly in connection with things that make me feel anxious.
"How are you this week, Taylor? It sounds like you may have something on your mind?" Dr. Stone's deep voice never failed to make my body hum in desire. I felt guilty at the note of concern in his tone. If only the man knew how often he starred in my dirty fantasies--his deep voice stern as he instructed me to do naughty and depraved things. Even better, the way he would reward me with even dirtier things when I obeyed him.
"Um, yes, well....I went on a date a few days ago." I hesitated, reluctant to give him details, feeling shame and embarrassment as I recalled how the date went. Avoiding his gaze, I fixed my eyes on his black loafers. "It was like everything we've practiced in session just magically disappeared from my brain."
I paused, waiting for him to say something, watching as he crossed his legs, his pants riding up enough to expose black dress socks as he did so. Feeling uncomfortable when Dr. Stone didn't respond right away, I continued, "I tried noticing when my anxious thoughts began to overwhelm me, challenging and replacing them before they could gain traction, just like we talked about."
I took a breath, still not brave enough to look at him, before I admitted, "But in that moment, everything felt so overpowering, and I don't know what happened... I'm sorry, I feel like such a fuck up."
My voice sounded dejected, and I was. I was ashamed that I didn't have anything positive to report to Dr. Stone. I felt like I let him down. Like I was a disappointment.
"Taylor, what did we talk about?" his tone was stern, "It's like learning a new skill or hobby. It takes time and practice to become good at something new, and applying the skills we're learning in our sessions will require the same.
"Look at me, Taylor," he said softly "You shouldn't feel bad and you're not a 'fuck up'."
I finally lifted my eyes to meet his green ones, relieved to find no judgment in his expression. I gave him a nod, feeling my lips lift in a small smile.
"Good girl." Dr. Stone's praise took me aback for a second. This was the first time he had ever called me by anything other than my name. I began to imagine other situations where he may call me a 'good girl'--me on my knees, leaning over his lap as I take his hard cock in my mouth. His hands in my hair, controlling my pace, making me gag as I--
"Taylor?" His questioning tone abruptly silenced my overactive imagination, and I found him looking at me with an arched eyebrow. I felt my whole body heat-- and not in a good way, either-- as I realized that he had asked me something while I was busy daydreaming about deep-throating his dick.
"Oh, shit, I'm sorry Dr. Stone. I didn't catch that--could you repeat it, please?" My words came out in a slightly higher pitch, my discomfort evident.