"Please Lord, please help me."
I continue to sob. It must have been an hour since everybody left, two hours since mass had ended and still, I kneel upon the hassock crying, praying and hoping divine inspiration will hit me.
No inspiration comes; no voice from the Lord; no respite from my anguish.
"What the fuck am I doing here?" I ask myself. I wipe my face as the tears continue their flow down my reddened cheeks.
"Are you okay?"
I open my eyes and look around. From my kneeling position all I see at eye level are a pair of tiny black denim shorts below a studded belt with a skull buckle. Confused as my reverie is broken, my gaze is transfixed for a few seconds. I start lifting my head, until I see the face of the girl standing to my right. Her piercing blue eyes, encompassed by the heavy black makeup, seem to be staring into my soul.
"Mr Phillips?" she questions.
"Evelyne?" I ask back. "Wow I haven't seen you in years. How are you?"
"Just Eve now Mr Phillips. I am good thanks, just got back from Uni. Was hoping mum was here to give me a lift home. What's wrong Mr Phillips, why are you crying?"
"If I am to call you Eve, you can stop with the Mr Phillips shit, please call me Matt. Honestly, I will be okay, you don't want to hear about my troubles."
"So glad you talk like a normal person, my mum freaks out if I say the slightest swear word for fuck's sake. I even get told off for saying Christ if I drop something. Please get off the kneeler and budge up so I can sit."
My mood begins to lift and for the first time I glance at the beauty of the young lady next to me. Long raven black hair; a short crop top with some weird font text upon it; several visible piercings accentuating her nose, lips and exposed belly button; the shorts which I now see have suspenders dangling below leading to some torn fishnet stockings and some large black leather boots with "New Rock" adorning them. She also has several tattoos, on her legs, stomach and chest above her top "I wonder how much further those go?" I ask myself. I can't see if her arms have any due to the long black trench coat but I will be shocked if they don't
"So Uni" I ask "what are you studying? Just got back today?"
"Yeah, psychology at UCL. Got back last night but went to a concert and stayed at; a friend's place." She says with a smile.
"Don't worry I was young once. Your secret is safe with me."
"Thanks Mr Phil... Matt" She corrects herself. "I don't think mum would understand."
"What band did you go to see?" I ask determined to keep this friendly and the distraction from my problems is a welcome one.
"Oh, I doubt you would have heard of them. They are quite; underground."
"Fair enough, I nearly didn't recognise you. You have definitely "grown up" from when I last saw you. My wife always talked about how good you were during the Sunday School she runs. That must have been eight years ago?"
"Nine Mr Phil; sorry Matt. Yeah, stopped going to church when I was 11, I was twenty last month." She put her hand on my knee, I jump with a slight shock. "Matt, I see you are deflecting my question. Are you okay? Actually, I fucking know you are not okay; so please tell me what is upsetting you so."