Comedian Jeff Foxworthy's signature routine lets people know if they might be a redneck. Well, along those same lines, here is how to tell if you might be a breast addict.
1) If you can guess the bra size of every woman you meet but don't have any idea what color their eyes are, you might be a breast addict.
2) If you've spent countless hours searching for strippers that will let you suck on them in the VIP room and you know their weekly work schedules and have a "5-star" rating system for them, you might be a breast addict.
3) If the amount of money you have spent on strippers (or escorts) would have bought you a new home, or an exotic Italian sports car, you might be a breast addict.
4) If you have female friends who know about your need and allow you to suck on them without actually dating or having sex, you might be a breast addict.
5) If you have ever experienced "missing time" while enjoying a woman's breasts; what you thought only lasted 10 minutes was actually 2 full hours, you might be a breast addict.
6) If your mouth has been conditioned to water like Pavlov's dog whenever you see cleavage, you might be a breast addict.
7) If you've dated a woman with no other expectation other than getting your lips on her tits. Likewise, if you've ever stopped dating a woman because she doesn't enjoy having you suck on her breasts, you might be a breast addict.
8) If the idea of a woman breastfeeding a child older than four years old disgusts everyone around you, but you secretly think "lucky kid", you might be a breast addict.
9) If a new girl that you are dating says that she is lactating just as you get her bra off for the first time and you don't even hesitate to latch on, you might be a breast addict.
10) Finally, if you've ever sucked on a woman's breasts so long, or so hard, that your mouth was raw and your tongue changed colors from red to white, you might be a breast addict.
Hi, my name is Jay and I am a breast addict. It's been 12 hours since my last "fix" and with a little luck it will be less than 12 hours before my next. I know that many men (and women) enjoy the look, feel, taste, comfort, or stress relief of a luscious breast, but most people are not really "addicts"; they just enjoy nice tits. It's like the difference between someone who enjoys a few drinks during the week as opposed to someone who needs to drink every night.
I have spent a significant amount of time and resources getting my breast fix throughout my life. I have dedicated this series to sharing some of my experiences in the quest for breasts.
From the time that I had first noticed girls and started swiping my uncle's "Playboy" magazines I knew that I was going to be a breast man. During my high school years my head seemed like it was attached to my body on ball bearings the way that my head spun around trying to take in all the scenery.
I was the "shy, quiet type" in school. I was athletically built and played all the major sports but mentally I had much more in common with the geeks and gear-heads. Therefore, I was friends with just about every guy in the school because I could find some way to relate to everyone.
Unfortunately, my social skills with the opposite sex were like a mute auctioneer; I had a lot to say but had no idea how to say it. Whenever girls were around, my mind seemed to shift into neutral and my tongue turned into a dried out chunk of leather. When ladies did talk to me I gave very short answers and I always felt awkward and out of place.
The few girls that I did get to know were the result of hanging out with two of my cousins; Julia and Deanna. Julia was my age (18) and Deanna was four years older. Since I had grown up with them, I was relaxed and could be myself around them, even when they had their girlfriends over to visit. I would later lose my virginity to Julia and be briefly involved with Deanna but that is another story.