Chaste Honeymoon Two Critics

Chaste Honeymoon: Two Critics.

Two silly Muppets are arguing about Male Chastity.

### Disclaimer. This story concludes the series "Here Comes The Bride (Only)" and the subsequent "Chaste Honeymoon." I will add more episodes as prequels and midquels in the future, but this should be considered the concluding episode, like the Appendices published at the end of Return of the King (si parva maiora licet componere).

There is nothing erotic about it (Non-Erotic category) and after all, it might look like an Essay (Review and Essay) but for affective reasons, I decided to label it as Category: Fetish.

In a sense, even "talking about Fetish" is a form of fetishism (whereas, for example, talking about imagined cheating, is not a form of acted cheating).

English is not my native language, so please forgive my mistakes (at least I guarantee you that the text was written by a human being and not AI!).###

Chapter 1. Marriage, Chastity, and Marriage with Forced Male Chastity in a Gentle Femdom.

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My wife and I have been married for over 30 years. Almost all of our friends, colleagues, and acquaintances are vanilla couples, who after thirty years no longer make love. Most of them have divorced. Those few who have stayed together live in a Dead Bedroom condition, with dynamics so repetitive that some comedians have written career-long shows about them.

On the surface, the two of us are also a vanilla couple: Dean the Paladin and Brit the Brat. Those who know us only superficially imagine that we are the typical couple who make love only one night a week, always in the missionary position, always in the dark and silent, with her huffing "Hurry up I have to finish reading my novel."

Secretly, she is the Keyholder of the lock that closes my chastity cage. For us, it is not a game of half-hour sessions: I have been wearing the cage 24/7/365, for decades. I asked for it, and she accommodated me. At first, she was perplexed and reluctant, but then she discovered that she was receiving many more orgasms. Britney is among the 30% of women who do not have vaginal orgasms from penetration. It's not my fault if that's what you're wondering: I have an average-sized penis with a reasonable duration. Let's say that the physical structure of my wife's vagina is to blame. This has not stopped us from making love, albeit without her having pleasure, and having two wonderful children. This implies two long pregnancies, during which I adored her pregnant body every day, whenever she was in the right mood (and I must confess: when pregnant, it happened to her very often!).

It all started even before the Wedding. I did not ejaculate either the night before the Wedding, or the first night as a married groom, or on any of the days of our Honeymoon (a Chaste Honeymoon). Instead, she received from me numerous orgasms both before, during, and after.

Dear reader, you may have already read the chronicle of the bachelorette party (i.e., hens' party), during which I was the caged sex toy of all my wife's female friends. They teased and tortured me gently throughout the night while Britney slept her well-deserved Power Nap. They did not let me get a wink of sleep, and continually one of them (or even two!) demanded of me that I lick her ankles, nipples, anus, or clitoris, always handcuffed and caged.

My penis, obeying a mechanical impulse, continued to summon blood for an erection, but the metal bars forced it to remain locked in a forced bow, pushing the knob down in a humiliating manner: never allowing the head to soar proudly to the sky, claiming a male orgasm for me as well after all those female orgasms I had generously given to each.

The same dynamic played out again the night after the wedding. The vanilla couples locked themselves in the room alone in two and made love. I, on the other hand, was forced to serve the bridesmaids like a butler, while they danced barefoot, some wearing elegant wedding dresses, others half-naked specifically to tease me.

Also in the Honeymoon, my wife befriended a group of women who in different manners lived a Female Leaded Relationship style with a submissive man. Some were downright sadistic, like Charlotte and Trixie; others were gentler, like Fiona and Delphine. But they all enjoyed tormenting and teasing me and humiliating me by making me dress like a sissy French maid around the Resort, always with the cage visible and the blue balls exposed.

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What you haven't heard yet, dear reader, is that I also had a sort of "Stag Day" albeit in a very weird way.

At a training course I had met two colleagues. One was Brazilian and another was Portuguese. I don't know why, we had been put on a Team, and we had become friends.

Both were slightly older than me: four or five years, maybe.

Ricardo Reis looked like the prototypical Alpha Male: the classic Chad posing as Bull to fuck the cuckold's Hotwife. Dark skin and green eyes: half Cape Verde, half German. But it was only appearance. He was shy and awkward, and only wished to please his wife by showering her with gifts and taking all the chores and errands upon himself: he was also a cook! Tall, broad-shouldered, like Plato: the philosopher who received that nickname precisely because he had broad shoulders. But Ricardo was kind and good and submissive toward his wife-all the opposite of the other.

The other one was short, fair-skinned, bearded, and looked like one of those Portuguese soccer players with all the same last names: Rui Gomes Costa Pereira Silva (sometimes it seems there are only a dozen surnames in Portugal!). He was shorter than me, with slender shoulders and an almost feminine body-I remember thinking that he never shaved his beard so as not to be mistaken for a female!

Alvaro de Campos was his name. But they had nicknamed him "El Buitre," which in Spanish means "The Vulture," or otherwise a bird of prey that strikes wounded prey.

He had a very simple technique. He used to say that women are all weak and insecure: they pretend to be strong and independent, but they depend on the approval of others. Especially of other women, but also of some men who manage to insinuate themselves into the midst of women: and "El Buitre" succeeded very well.

Alvaro said he never graduated, but that the University of Coimbra should award him an Honorary Degree in "Gynecology and Applied Hystericology."

He said: if you listen to what women say to the gynecologist, you realize that they are weak, insecure, full of worries and envy! Just when they are visited by the gynecologist, with their thighs open and a finger inside their pussy, is when they are most helpless and vulnerable! You two, Dean and Ricardo, don't understand a damn thing: you believe that women are Goddesses to be worshipped. Instead, they are just human beings full of weaknesses. I do. To screw a woman, any woman, you just have to wait for her to go through a moment of weakness: then you show up, and drop some insult disguised as a compliment, passive-aggressive, like "This hairstyle is wonderful, and I'm sure no one will notice that you've grown white hair!" or "The color of this skirt is magnificent, and it makes your hips look a little less fat" or the ever-beautiful "Uh, what a magnificent polish on your nails! It totally distracts from the wrinkles around your eyes!" You drop it and go. If you stay, they will want to "talk," instead you leave right away saying, "I have to go, I have other women who want to fuck me," and they will crave you, because there is nothing that excites a woman more, than an already busy man. How come? Well, because as I told you, every girl is deeply insecure. If another woman is fucking you, it means that that other woman has seen something in you that she has not yet perceived. It's like when girls buy shoes or handbags: she doesn't choose what she likes, but what she has already seen on a friend (or a celebrity) that she imitates by following her like a worshipper.

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Chapter 2. The "Universal Law of Girlfriends."

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I didn't want a bachelor party with booze, drugs, and prostitutes.

Besides I had already been wearing the cage for a few weeks and it would have been very awkward with other men.

But Alvaro insisted on having a bachelor booze party via remote connection, and so one night we connected simultaneously, like the agents of "Kingsmen."

I briefly explained what the Contract I had proposed to Britney consisted of, and how the first few weeks were going.

Ricardo was enthusiastic.

Alvaro was very pessimistic.

Ricardo exulted. "A wonderful idea! This will encourage you to please her all the time! Remember the proverb, Dean: Happy wife, happy life!"

Alvaro shushed him. "You two don't understand anything, Ricardo. Women crave a Free and Strong man, who takes orders from no one! Women crave for Tarzan, Conan, Aragorn! When have you ever heard a woman say, "Oh, I'd love it so much if a bald, chubby bank-teller was in love with me!" never in your life."

Ricardo tried to react as best he could, clinging to the only topic he had extensive experience with pornography

Ricardo: "The best stories you read contained very little sex. Some were completely devoid of sex scenes."

Alvaro: "No! Eroticism is the only thing that matters! Nobody cares about the furniture and the sunset! You have to describe sex scenes!"

Ricardo: "It is not fair for the woman to deprive the man of sexual intimacy, or for her to use it as a rewarding tool to manipulate him!

Álvaro: "No! It has worked that way for centuries! All prostitutes give sex in exchange for something, so even girlfriends and wives! Thousands of readers know only that kind of sex: sex that women use as a weapon in a barter, sex in exchange for a fancy dinner, after an excursion with the new car, after the husband gets a promotion in the office."

Ricardo: "A woman wants to be desired. The cage just makes sure it doesn't end (you know when a precox ejaculation steals the orgasm from the unsatisfied woman). And intensifies everything a tad. And helps the husband to increase his oral skills (if you cannot believe 30% of American husbands don't lick the pussy!)"

Alvaro: "No! A woman desires a Winner, a Hero, an Indomitable Rebel! Everyone knows, that every woman longs for the handsome, cursed one, covered in blood and scars! Then she will do everything to tame him, to break him, and when he is finally tamed and docile, she will consider him a Loser and reject him! That is why all male chastity stories end with a cheating hotwife! She loses respect for that loser loser!"

Ricardo: "Not all women are greedy for aggressive males, not all couples are the same. Some women avoid aggressive or overbearing males (maybe because of some teenage trauma or who knows). A single submissive male might find somewhere a woman who maintains respect for him, even if he wishes to have his penis locked up by the keyholder whom he fully trusts!"

Alvaro. "No! No one can trust a woman! That one will then use every single sentence to attack you during discussions! In real life, you must never confide your secrets to your wife, otherwise she will take advantage of them to win unfairly!"

Ricardo was exhausted. "A real man may suffer anything to gift a smile to her wife!"

Alvaro: "No! A Real Man will never wear frilly panties or a French maid uniform! The wife will lose any respect for him! Oh, well, all women except Britney who is a unique angel in the world! Dean takes no chances because Britney is so extraordinary that she will always respect him! But any other man who allows this level of humiliation will forever lose his wife's respect. How could a wife still be attracted, to a husband who has humiliated himself serving tea crossdressed like a loser? Wives are attracted to masculine men: the bloodstained hunter, the fisherman with a heavier tuna than him, the gangster full of scars from the wounds he survived thanks to his Stamina! No wife desires a weak husband!"

Ricardo: "If she likes to see him caged, and always eager to lick, and he likes it so much that he begged her, why should they care what others think?"

Alvaro: "No! Women talk to each other, and sooner or later the wife will tell the girls, maybe it will slip out of her mouth after two glasses of wine!"

Ricardo: "Well but maybe the girls will admire his devotion!"

Alvaro: "NO! The girls will think he is a loser and advise his wife to divorce him so she won't be dragged into ridicule along with him!"

.

I still did not know what would happen to me the night before the wedding. I must admit that Alvaro's talk was making me uncomfortable, and therefore, I tried to change the subject, "But Alvaro, you are precisely chubby..."

Alvado "It's "gordinho feliz." And anyway, I wasn't talking about physical appearance. You are taller and you are also more handsome, Ric, but you are subdued psychologically, tell me, what did you cook today?"

"Paella with calamari..."

"There, you see? A real man would have said, 'I took her to the restaurant and then fucked her in the parking lot,' but instead, you show up in the house wearing an apron, and she loses respect for you!"

"No, she respects me..."

"For now, she pretends to respect you, but in a few years, she will start to consider you boring and predictable. Then she will look around and see that there are more seductive males. I know it sounds cliché, but women cheat. It's not because of penis size-I sense that you are well-endowed. But it's for the adrenaline, the sense of danger, the fear of being caught, the Drama. Women like the Drama. You, on the other hand, make her feel comfortable..."

"Of course! I must make her feel serene and relaxed!"

"Relax! Don't do it! When you want to come... Relaxed is the opposite of excited!"

"But I desire her to be happy..."

"Ricardo: you desire to cum. You are a male, you are full of testosterone, and it is inevitable that you want to cum. You can't help it! Now you tell us that you desire her to be happy, but really you just want to cum on her face or inside her pussy!"

I was a little uncomfortable and tried to stem Alvaro's flood of words.

"Sorry to interrupt you, El Buitre, but not all women are as you say...my Britney..."

"Your Britney is an Angel, I know. I have met her and I admit she is different from the others. And I want to sincerely wish you to live the way you two choose, for the next hundred years. But even you will admit that girls like Britney are very rare, and most women don't want the Keyholder role at all!"

"No?" asked astonished Ricardo, who seemed very interested even though he had never done so.

"But certainly not! Wives are comfortable with their husbands masturbating! Every night that you want to sneak into your male quarry to masturbate, she knows it: she doesn't stop you because you indulge her laziness! Except for those few wives who can't get pregnant, all the others want to make love much less often than their husbands: hormones work differently than testosterone, a gynecologist told me!

Moreover, the wives, are happy about it, because it confirms to them that you are just a wild, loser sex maniac. Hence the reluctance of countless wives to read in so many autobiographical emails. Wives prefer their husbands to masturbate.

Being the Keyholder is perceived as a duty, an additional chore. And women always want to avoid the drudgery. Also, if they see you wearing a cage, they despise you.

So many wives force their husbands into "substantial" chastity even without a cage. It is a chastity based on her arrogance: she always demands something more (a more expensive gift, a more luxurious restaurant, a bigger house) and the husband, being a male, always tries to "fix the problem" without realizing that arrogance tends to infinity: no gift will ever be "enough" for the arbitrary judgment of a wife who does not want to have sex!

The difference between cage and arrogance is that cage is a man's choice-Dean confirms this for us.

Add to that the fact that, as mentioned above, society makes it easier for women to find satisfying and lucrative careers, while often jamming males into dead-end jobs (and school mows down millions of them because testosterone is not compatible with composure in the classroom). Ergo, often the wife earns more than the husband, but neither has experience handling this new thing. And in many cases, unconsciously the wife ceases to respect her husband.

The gist of all femdom fiction is that, in essence, they are explicitly saying what happens in all marriages (or at least in those with Deadbed marriage, which I sense are most, though.

You, Ricardo, are the classic husband who sacrifices for her, saves up for her, gives her all the money and all the attention, hoping that this will put her in the mood to give him at least a brief sex session.

Instead, every gesture of a submissive husband (gifts, chores, dedication, monogamy, and that "Happy Wife" nonsense that never comes to fruition) not only never achieves the desired outcome, but on the contrary convinces the wife that that husband is "domesticated," so he is no longer "dangerous" ergo he has become "boring." I imagine that in the beginning many girlfriends considered the boyfriend a kind of wild Hercules, an agile and muscular stallion. Then over the years, husbands have humiliated themselves so many times that those ones think they are two Naomi Campbells and not only don't give it to them, but scold and taunt them all day long.

Do you guys know the "Universal Law of Girlfriends?"

A clerk in a sweater and sweatshirt store explained it to me. As long as a girl is only engaged, she buys gifts that are too big for her boyfriend: sweatshirts that are too big, shirts that are too baggy. And they always have to come back to change them. Instead, when the same girl becomes a married woman, she buys all items too small: shirts too tight, sweaters too tight. Why? Because every girlfriend perceives the boyfriend as an invincible hero, since she has not yet managed to tame him. In contrast, every wife perceives her husband as a weak little homunculus, because he has now been tamed.

As you know, every chain is made up of links: and the first link in the chain, you are wearing it on the finger of your hand, and you paid for it." Smiling, Alvaro showed his ringless hand.

Ricardo and I were silent and saddened. We both knew of numerous couples where, without using pornographic acronyms like FLR, the wife bossed and despised her husband, despite the fact that he showered her with gifts, ignored other women, and took on chores and errands.

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Chapter 3. Alvaro and My Way.

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Alvaro drank a glass of a Portuguese wine and then continued talking. "The Forced Male Chastity Guaranteed by the Cage, in pornographic fiction, is nothing but a brilliant metaphor for the imbalance that exists in marital relations between a husband who is too kind (and too monogamous: partly out of fear of AIDS and other STDs, but also because court rulings punish the cheater husband!) and a wife whom society instigates to be arrogant.

Society makes artificial mistakes.

But Mother Nature created women to be attracted to the males best suited for reproduction: the hunter who brings in the most prey, the fisherman who returns with the heaviest catch, the soldier who survives wounds and battles. Tattoos are a (ridiculous) form of creating fake scars over muscles to pretend to be "war heroes."

No woman can resist the attraction to a "successful" male. Mother Nature urges them to open their legs in front of the hunter who brought the meat. Now it is fashionable to claim to be a vegetarian, but instinctively no woman can deny the allure of a hunter with blood on his hands (even butchers are the most fascinating of shopkeepers: between a pastry chef, an ice cream maker, and a butcher, which one would make your wife wetter? It's Nature, beauty...).