My head hurt as I gradually woke up in my own bed, flat on my back. I tried to roll over only to discover that my hands and feet were tied to the bedposts. Still half asleep I shouted for my wife.
"Hey Dianne, what the hell is this?"
Dianne came into the room wearing a see-through baby doll nightie and an evil grin. "Next time you have a night out with the boys don't get so sauced. Bill and Hank could barely carry you in before they fell over themselves."
I chuckled but it made my head hurt more. Then I realized that I was not only tied up but completely naked. "Baby, were you dressed like that when they brought me home?"
"Yes, but so were Sue and Angie. The cab driver enjoyed the show so much he turned down his tip." Sue was Hank's wife, Angie was Bill's. We partied together a lot since we became neighbors, but no swapping or swinging: Everyone was faithful to our own partners. Then the thought of three drop-dead gorgeous wives in Victoria's Secret lingerie herding three drunken husbands to the right houses must have been something.
"I'll be right back" Di said and turned back into the hallway.
I thought I'd go back to sleep, but my head hurt too much. I opened my eyes to see Dianne offering me a glass of tomato juice with a straw.
As I sipped I noticed she had put some towels on the bed next to me and what looked like tools on top of the towels. She noticed me looking and giggled.
"Remember that National Geographic show we watched at Bill and Angie's last week, Sweet Heart?"