Carrie Goes To The Not Fair

'This, I'm afraid, is unacceptable.'

A flash of panic hit Carrie. She felt mildly nauseous at the way this conversation was heading. She was going to fail; they were going to kick her out, and the past two years of study would all be for nought. If only she'd skipped a party here or a night out there, she could have been on easy street going into her third year. Instead, she was sat on the wrong side of Deborah's office desk, praying for some kind of reprieve.

'There must be something I can do,' she said. 'It was only 20 credits.'

'So we should just go around handing out degrees to people who don't put in the required effort because they

nearly

did enough?'

'Well, no, of course not.' She paused, choosing her words carefully. 'I know I messed around too much this year, but my point is that, even with that, I still almost passed. Surely if I can almost pass the year with poor attendance I deserve a chance to show what I can do when I apply myself.'

'Perhaps,' Deborah mused, 'but how do I know that you

would

apply yourself when I have no evidence of it to begin with?'

'Because if I don't, then I've basically wasted three years and several thousand pounds' worth of debt?'

'Hmm,' Deborah paused now, getting out of her swivel chair and stepping over to a large, open window which looked out onto the main courtyard of the humanities campus. 'There may be a solution that suits both of us.'

'Oh, thank God. What is it?'

Deborah hesitated again, making Carrie feel cautious all of a sudden. 'We're holding a fundraising fair this weekend, as you know. We need someone to take turns in the pillory. We only had one volunteer but it wouldn't be fair to let her stay in there all day I'm afraid.'

'The pillory,' Carrie repeated in disbelief, half-question, half just bouncing the word around as if trying to remember what it meant.

'Yes. I know it's not ideal but that's a decade of tory government for you: needs must. Are you willing to help out?

Now it was Carrie who stopped to think for a moment. She had come to this meeting with the head of her course hoping for the best but prepared for the worst. This wasn't quite the worst but was it the best? Where did spending an afternoon in and out of a medieval torture device being pelted with sponges feature on that scale? Not wasting two years of her life was probably worth a little knock to her ego, she decided. Besides, it was summer time, she'd probably dry out in the sun within minutes.

'Do I have to wear anything specific?' she asked at last.

'Not really, though I would advise you don't wear anything too expensive, of course.'

'And it will definitely just be for an hour at a time, so that's like, what, four hours, total?'

'Yes,' Deborah replied, 'there or there about.'

'And who's the other volunteer?'

'That would be Rachel.'

'Wow, really?' That changed things. Rachel wasn't a close personal friend, but she was cool enough. They had been in classes together and bumped into each other via mutual friends on nights out. She would have been happier still if it was someone she knew well, but Rachel was better than a complete stranger. 'Okay then, I'll do it.'

'Then I have some paper work to do, don't I?' Deborah smiled. 'Be in the courtyard at nine on Saturday. You'll find your place easily enough.'

'Right. Sure. Thank-you!

Deborah bid her farewell and Carrie left with a grin on her face, feeling a palpable sense of relief. She had gotten what she had wanted, and at a cost which, while more than nothing, didn't seem too harsh at all. The fact that her fellow victim would be someone she knew and not a complete stranger made even the embarrassment she would face seem more manageable.

Saturday rolled around all too quickly, finding Carrie anxious and un-prepared. She got up bright and early to pick a suitable outfit and make the relatively long walk from her flat to the campus. She was going to look silly, regardless, so she wanted something that would look good to begin with but that she wouldn't mind getting ruined. She picked out red lingerie, figuring that if people were going to see her soaked through, she wanted what they saw to be appealing. Over it she wore some tight-fitting but otherwise normal white jeans and a matching silk blouse.

It was a beautifully sunny day and walking through the park at such an early time of morning soon started to change her mood for the better. It was easy to forget that she was heading to University outside of term time to let people throw wet sponges at her. It would be fun to see her friends again, too. Some of them had gone back to their parents', she knew, but plenty of them had 12-month contracts for their final year accommodation.

On arrival she was greeted in the cobbled courtyard by Deobrah and a currently empty-looking group of stalls. Nothing much seemed to be going on except for a few students laying out the various stalls and stands. At the far end of the yard, set slightly away from the more mundane attractions, was the pillory with which Carrie would soon become more familiar.

'Ah, hello there, Carrie,' Deborah said politely. 'The fair starts at ten but I needed you here early to help us set things up.'

'Okay,' she replied reluctantly, wondering what exactly needed setting up. Looking around, most of the stalls seemed more or less ready to go.

'Your friend will be here shortly but I need to explain a few things first.'

Carrie's concern began to grow. What could need explaining about putting your head in a hole and taking a few sponges to the face?

'Like what?' she asked.

'Well the organisers decided that you and Rachel should be in school uniforms. They have a bit of a theme in mind and forgot to mention it till now.'

'You are joking, right?' Carrie replied with a look of slack-jawed disbelief on her face.

'I'm afraid not but don't worry, they have provided plenty to choose from.'

'You want me to wear a white cotton blouse to get wet in and a skirt bend over in?'

'Get wet in? You'll be getting more than wet, missy. You can always go home if you don't like it. And stay there when September rolls round.'

Carrie was livid. 'What do you mean I'll be getting more than wet?'

'Did you think we were just going to let people throw sponges at you? Who would pay for that, dear? No, no. We need to make money here. We're selling different foodstuffs for people to use. Messier substances will incur higher prices, of course. We need money, Carrie, and this fair is the last chance we have of doing so before term time comes round again.'

Carrie couldn't think of anything to say to that and stormed off in a huff instead. If she wanted to complete her degree she would have to do what Deborah had told her.

'Be back here, in uniform, in 45 minutes,' Deborah called after her. 'Or don't.'

She briefly flirted with the idea of going back to her flat and giving up, but even the briefest moment of introspection told her that she couldn't do that. She had gotten herself into this position by partying too much and now those chickens were coming home to roost. Deborah was giving her a second chance that most people wouldn't get and she was in no position to turn it down just because she didn't like some of the terms and conditions. Yes, it would be degrading, and yes she would be slathered in gunk by the end of the day, but if that meant she still got to have a degree 12 month down the line it had to be worth it, didn't it?

She sighed huffily as she reached the main gate. The answer to that question was obvious. She turned on the spot, checking the time on her phone, and headed to the big Wambrosia stall she had stormed past a moment ago.

'I'm Carrie,' she said to the woman who seemed to be in charge.

She looked a little older than Carrie, but too young to be a faculty member. Her long black hair was fastened at the back of her head in a neat, formal-looking bun. She looked flustered and busy, and didn't even deign to respond verbally. She pointed at a rack of school uniforms, which, even at first glance, Carrie could see were not suitable for any real school girl. The first one she grabbed to inspect had a red chequered skirt that would scarcely have concealed her knickers standing up, let alone bent over in a pillory. She put it back and kept looking, but they didn't get much better than that.

'Hey, Carrie,' said someone behind her. 'You got roped into this too then?'

'Oh, Rach. Hi! Yeah. I thought it'd just be a couple of sponges or something. Then I turn up and Debs drops this bomb on my head.'

'It could be worse I guess,' replied the brown-haired girl. 'I'm almost looking forward to it in fact,' she added with a coy look on her face.

'Whatever, I'm just glad to be seeing you guys again.'

'Guys? Nobody else is coming, Carrie. It's just you and me.'

Carrie looked horror-stricken. She had not been expecting this. 'What?' was all she could manage to get out.

'I thought you knew. Half of them are on holiday and Rose moved back down South for the summer. Didn't they tell you?'

'No!' Great, she thought. Just great. Not only do I have to be covered in food in front of everyone but hardly anyone I know is going to be here. Not that it's a bad thing when she looked at it that way but she had expected to hang out while it wasn't her turn in the pillory. A joke and a natter would have made the whole thing much more bearable

'Well forget about it now,' Rachel said. 'This thing starts in a minute and there's nothing we can do about. Might as well just sit back and try to enjoy it, I guess.'

Carrie couldn't believe what she was hearing. Enjoy it? What was wrong with this girl? What was there possibly to enjoy about having a bunch of weirdos pay to throw food at you? Could this day possibly get any worse, she pondered, hoping she wouldn't jinx herself by thinking it.

'Hey, Carrie!' It was another familiar voice, male this time.

Oh God, please don't let that be who it sounded like, she prayed.

'Me and Emily were bored so we thought we'd come check out your school fair. What are you doing here so early? It's not like you to be up at this time on a Saturday.'

'Oh, me? Nothing,' she floundered. It was Blake, her sister's boyfriend, and Emily, her sister. Of all the people who could have shown up, these were the last two she would have wanted.

'You here to help out?'

'Er, yeah. Something like that, I guess.'

'You're going in the pillory? Awesome,' he replied, enthusiastically.

She really didn't want to be humiliated in front of her sister, obviously, and knew that if they found out she was going in the pillory then Blake would definitely pay good money to have a go. She had once tipped ice-cream over him as a bit of silly, playful fun and he had sworn revenge. He also had a thing about girls and messy food that she thought was a little weird and he definitely had a soft spot for her. Or was it a hard spot? Either way, there was no way he wasn't going to have a pop at that particular amusement.

She searched her brain for some kind of response that might get her out of this.

'Actually, I'm, er, I'm just saying hi to my mate,' she managed. 'I'm just a kind of general helper. Bits and bobs. You know what I mean.'

'Ok. Well I guess we'll see you later,' Emily said. 'Me and Blake are going take a look round. See you.'

The sigh of relief that escaped from Carrie almost blew her backwards. Could she possibly keep this pretence up all day, though? The chances of them not coming back over in one of the hours she was supposed to spend in bondage were remote at best. Her best bet was that either they hadn't brought any money or that they would come when it was Rachel's turn.

'Carrie, you want to go first or second?' Rachel cut in. 'It's starting in a minute and you still need to get dressed.' She nodded towards the ridiculous outfits. God, was she grinning at that, too?

'Oh, sorry. Yeah, whatever,' Carrie replied absently. She was still trying to figure out how to avoid her sister.

'Okay, I'll go have a look round then. I'll be back in an hour.'

Carrie's hearing and social awareness suddenly came back to her with a bang. 'What? Wait, I don't want to go first.'

It was too late, though. Rachel was already out of earshot. She was left alone with the wooden contraption and her overseer, Deborah, who had come over to see how things were going.

'Better get ready,' the lecturer said, tapping her watch.

There was nothing left to say. Resigned to her fate, Carrie turned back to the clothes rack and picked out the least offensive parody of a uniform she could find. It featured a green plaid skirt, not dissimilar to her own uniform from a few years ago but several inches shorter. Once she'd wriggled into it - checking nobody was looking but with no way to know for sure and with nowhere to hide - she looked down and tutted at the fact that the he was well above her knee.

The blouse was worse if anything. Its thin white material was practically see-through and there wasn't a lot of it. In truth, it was more like a crop top than a blouse, leaving her entire stomach bare. A green tie was printed onto the blouse, since there wasn't enough material to attach a real one to. Carrie was confident enough in her body, but today would really test that. The outfit was, frankly, obscene and she was almost glad the woodwork of the pillory would go some way towards covering her up. Even Deborah, who had been looking away while Carrie dressed, had the decency to appear embarrassed when she saw what she had gotten her student into.

Once dressed, if you could call it that, she hid her own clothes under the table Deborah was currently occupying. She moved behind the pillory and Deborah lifted the top piece for her. Placing her head on the lower beam and her hands in the holes on either side, she allowed the crude device to close around her. After testing the sturdiness of her surroundings she dared a glance around the yard. Luckily for her not many people were at her end of the yard so far. There were quite a few coming in through the gates but most of them were choosing to start off inside where the food stalls were. The fair wasn't due to end until six, however. That meant a total of four hours in this thing and no chance of avoiding getting messy.

In fact, it took less than ten minutes for someone to come over and give her a taste of things to come. Not an unpleasant taste, she had to admit, but it would have been better placed in her mouth rather than all around it. The first customer had been an annoying giggling college kid, presumably a prospective student, who thought it would be funny to splat a pie into her face. Carrie, however, didn't see the funny side of it. She managed to force a smile but that was as far she would go.

From there, the first hour seemed to drag on forever. After another fifteen minutes she got her second patron, a girl who also seemed to be here to have a look round the campus for the first time. She handed some change to Deborah and picked up a thick-looking cream pie. She stepped up to Carrie and placed the pie firmly in her face before smearing it up and back over the top of her head, coating her hair with sloppy white cream. Carrie spat and spluttered, doing anything she could to remove the sticky substance from her face but what she could do was very little. The younger girl trotted away and left Carrie half blinded by the creamy goo.

Deborah was kind enough to wipe away the worst of the mess with a towel, clearing Carrie's eyes but most of the cream remained where it was. Carrie was given little time to recuperate, though, as another guy had appeared in front of her, this one with his mother. The woman seemed to spend a little longer counting her change this time and sure enough, he picked up two pies instead of one. He didn't have quite the same finesse of the last girl; he simply splatted both pies into either side of her face, simultaneously, and let the paper plates drop to the floor. Carrie was again left with a face-full of thick cream as her world turned white. The feeling of thick cream piled up on her face disgusted Carrie and again she struggled to remove it with little success. The guy giggled and walked off with his mother while Carrie had her face wiped with a towel again.

As the next person stepped up Carrie risked a glance at the food table and then at the clock. There was still an immense number of cream pies surrounded with various buckets and jugs, most of which she couldn't see into. Her first hour was almost up, though, and she could maybe avoid more mess if she was lucky. Rachel had just returned from browsing the fair and the girl in front of the desk was still sifting through her purse.

'Hey. Can you let me out now? It's Rachel's turn.'

'You still have two more minutes,' Deborah replied.

'It's okay,' Rachel said. 'I'll take over.'

With that, she lifted the top section away from Carrie's head and freed her for the next hour. It felt great to be out and she immediately stretched her back to rid it of the stiffness of standing in the same position for the past sixty minutes. Three more hours of this is going to be hell, she thought. Although, if there were only three people per hour it might not be too bad.

'Have fun, Rach,' she said as playfully as she could, then gave her face a good wipe and headed for the main building.

She looked everywhere, even checking the toilets, but Rachel had been right: none of her friends were here at all. On her way to grab some food she noticed with horror that it was already 11:45. She had wasted the better part of an hour looking in vain for people she knew. Now she had 15 minutes before she had to go back in that

thing

. She grabbed a sandwich and traipsed back to Rachel and Deborah, chewing joylessly on bread and cheese.

It seemed like things had definitely been getting a little more intense in her absence. Rachel's face was coated in cream and, by the look of things, a bucket of something had been tipped over her back. Strangely, though, she didn't seem to mind too much. Her shirt was coated in custard but she had a big grin on her face. She directed that smile at Carrie as she approached and scanned around for more customers. There were one or two more people around and Carrie was glad to still have five minutes before she went back in the pillory. However, news of the attraction was bound to have spread and she was certain that the next hour would not be as quiet as her first.

A guy from Carrie's was next up to the pillory and handed over what looked like paper money from her perspective. She would have felt sorry for Rachel if it wasn't for the fact that it would be here in there otherwise. The guy picked up one of the jugs from the table and moved behind the pillory. What the hell, thought Carrie. She wasn't expecting that, and it made her very anxious. If it could happen to Rachel, what was there to stop it happening to her? She thought they were just going to get hit in the face with pies all day, and even that was a step up from the sponges she had expected not long ago.

What on earth could be in those jugs and buckets anyway, she wondered? She wasn't sure she wanted to know but was increasingly aware that she was probably going to end up covering her at some stage. The stranger upended the jug into the back of Rachel's trousers and a cascade of egg yolks made its way down the back of her ass and legs. She shivered, presumably from the cold and let out a gasp. Most of the stuff oozed out of the bottom of her trouser legs but, clearly, some of it must have remained around her butt. The cheeky guy gave it a little pat and walked off with a smirk on his face but not before giving Carrie a disconcerting wink.