Carlas Agony Ch 02

Daniel is weird. My diaper gets him wild and even when i piss on him he can't hide his joy. That is sick, really sick. No way I want to come near anyones piss, besides my own. But I could fill a glass and he would drink my urine like it was champagne.

And ... yes ... I know I have mixed feelings about it. I have been humiliated for my condition so often and people, male and female, have always been disgusted by my condition in a way and I started to dislike myself. And then there was Daniel, quite so much the opposite that it scares me. Daniel is almost 20 years older than me, old enough to be my dad.

When I was younger I got the creeps when adults, mostly teachers, wanted to know more about my incontinence and diapers. School was in every way a stressful period. I have never been able to hold my pee and everyone knew I was in diapers. In primary school that was no problem, but all of a sudden I became a pariah in high school, which I can't understand to this day.

Other children had issues. Petra had diabetes, sure that is hard but no problem to others. Lars had psoriasis, sure it didn't look nice but he had no hard time finding a date. I was incontinent, and that was so unbelievably gross, so filthy and contagious, that even just talking to me would drop someone down the social ladder.

No need to say all others kept a safe 'smell distance' from 'Crappy Carla' as they called me. Teachers didn't make my life any easier. I guess it was easier for them to be on the side of the majority then on the side of the weird diaper girl.

I was 21 when I had my first serious date. My attitude was one of self awareness, strong and independent. Probably superciliously for whom I was 'Big Busty Carla' and didn't know about 'Crappy Carla'. Erwin was a colleague in the grocery store I worked at back then. I don't know about men of that age but he seemed horny all the time. We went to the movie once, and before it started he asked if I wanted a relationship. I said sure and all the time during the movie he was touching my breasts under my shirt, under my bra, putting his head under my shirt and so on. If i didn't know better he had never seen tits before.

He was stroking himself, asked if i could do it, asked to go to the loo together, all this during a 2 hour movie. Of course I didn't and he went to the restroom to unload himself but with a picture of my boobs on his cellphone that he took under my shirt. After that he still wasn't satisfied. He went for my legs and crotch which I blocked because I hadn't told him yet about my diaper.

The next day we met at his place. He was again all over me so it wasn't hard to figure out he would want to go a step further. Erwin was not what I had in mind for my first time but I was 21, still a virgin and thought, why not, let's give it a try. His hands were all over me, especially my breasts. He was mesmerized, fascinated and played with them like a boy with his first toy.

"Hey, easy. Gotta tell you something. I have an issue, always had, I am incontinent. I need to wear a diaper."

I almost had to shout it in order to get his attention...

"Oh, so it's true. But you still can have sex don't you?"

"What? Yes! What is loosing pee to do with sex?"

"Well it's from your vagina, isn't it? You have a vagina? Don't you?"

"Well, sure but pee does not come out of my vagina, I have a peehole in ... oh never mind ... "

I don't know why I went on after this ridiculous conversation. Maybe it was because he knew so little about my body that I could put my shame aside. His hornyness would also overcome much and my big tits weren't going anywhere either.

I went to the bathroom, took off my diaper and tried to pee before Erwin would be all over me. It happened often when I fingered myself but as Murphy Law states, not that day. So I just went back to the bedroom. As I took off my bra Erwin was stroking himself and I was afraid he would come even before intercourse. My tits are big and for a 21 year old already a bit saggy which made me not very happy about them but clearly Erwin was in paradise.

He lay down on me while I spread my legs. His head between my boobs and with one hand trying to enter me. I wasn't quite wet and stroked my clit myself and after I helped him he was inside. After 2 or 3 strokes he was deep. He pushed once, I screamed, moaned and my bladder released instantly. There was no stopping possible and it seemed endless. Erwin took out his penis while I was still peeing. Stroke his shaft and squirted his seed out over my belly and tits.

"WOOOWW, that was great! See, you squirted! You came even before me! My dick! It's my dick right? Deep inside you made you cum!"

I just nodded and let him play with my tits again. We were lying in my piss and he didn't notice. I guess my first time sex experience fits my life. Shameful, disappointing, unsatisfying and not understood.

It didn't work out and after a few years and more unsatisfying and humiliating situations later I met Daniel. He was my older, so much older that I didn't consider him and me together. Me and Daniel were at puppy training together. Me with Peanut my mom's Cocker Spaniel and Daniel with Amber, his Labrador who stayed with his wife after their divorce. Daniel wanted to talk to me every time we were there, take a walk together afterwards. He was quite pushy and annoying.

One day he told me while we walked back home that he just recently got divorced and that he had a difficult time. It was just a few minutes walk and I didn't want to cut him off when he had a hard time. We agreed to go have lunch the next day. Daniel was open and sincere, and above all mature and wise. Which was after my relationship failures, a big revelation. He had so much life experience I felt safe to talk about my issues and how it affected my love life.

"I noticed you are wearing a diaper." He said, leaving me in shock.

"What? Why didn't you say something?" I said, looking at the waistband of my skirt.

"Well. I guessed you were comfortable if anyone would notice. I mean, in the morning your butt is way smaller than in the evening. I suppose if you don't want anyone to notice you could just change diapers more often."

I was flabbergasted. But in a way Daniel was right. I could change diapers more often but I wore bigger diapers deliberately. On one hand changing diapers was very depressing, pointing out my miserable situation every time. If I only did it twice a day it was less hard to deal with. On the other hand I didn't care how I looked. If anyone would see it; fine, if anyone would make fun of me? Also fine! Better to make fun of me than to ignore me.

"I must say I do have a special interest in it. I like women, their bodies with all their beauty. The smell of their sweat, their drool in my mouth, and also the warmth and smell of their pee. I like women, their inside and outside."

"That's just weird. Pee smells ugly."

"Your pee is produced by your beautiful body. How can it smell ugly?"

"Poop is also produced by my body, but I'll pass."

"Poop has no sexual meaning to me but it is also part of once body and therefor could i deal with it."

"You are weird."

I didn't admit it but he sparked my interest. For hours, days I was thinking about his words. He turned the table. Now I was the one who was disgusted, and Daniel the misfit. I even called him a weirdo. But I was not about to give in like the others did to me. I would overcome my general dislike for his interest.

I wanted to meet again. Daniel had expressed his feelings for me and I had to make clear what I wanted. Now Daniel is a very handsome man. In his younger years he was probably way out of my league. I guess it was the beauty of my youth that attracted him, and my tits, and my, well ... my piss. He was older though and my attraction for him was his appearance, sure, but even more his look at women and particularly his look at me.

I was young and provocative. Wanted to see how fond he really was for my piss so I didn't change my diaper in the morning. I was wearing it for almost 15 hours when we met. It was a 24 hour diaper, so generally speaking no problem, but it wasn't very fresh either. I knew he would notice and wondered how he would react.

We met at the same restaurant. Besides Daniel's interests for what I was most ashamed of, he seemed also interested in my eyes, my life and my personality. Not like my previous dates who only seemed to have interest in my boobs. It turned me on, it turned me on so much that the skin of my neck, my cheeks and my ears were burning red. And I knew this man, this experienced man, would recognize the signs of a horny woman. Again Daniel had turned the table and I found myself in a situation I never thought I would be in. The one longing for sex.

I asked him straight away if he lived nearby and if we could have a coffee at his place. He had just moved out of his house after his divorce and was now living in a small flat. Nothing seemed organized and he only had a mattress on the floor, not yet a proper bed.

We kissed right away. Passionately, soft and tender. His hands hugged me, embraced me holding me tight, giving me a feeling of safety in this cold unknown flat. His hands went under my shirt softly, my skin, as if he touched the smooth surface of velvet. I got more and more heated and wanted to rip off his clothes and mine but Daniel was still very easy. His hands discovered every inch of my skin. From my armpits to the outside of my boobs, my shoulders and my back, down my spine to my butt.

OMG, My butt ... his hands went inside my diaper, the heavy diaper I wanted to provoke him with. And now it was impossible to take it off discreetly. He retracted his hand and went down to my upper legs, between my thighs and spread them cautiously. Weighing, testing and feeling the pee saturated diaper while squeezing it. His hands went over it, covered it.

"You know what a 'Gesamtkunstwerk' is? It is you. You are the synthesis of art, the masterpiece of a great mind." He said.

His head went down to my crotch. He used the diapers padding as a pillow, rubbing his cheeks against the smooth plastic surface. Sniffing it and licking it, licking the elastic edges around my legs and pushing his tongue inside. His unexpected touching paralyzed me. What he did was incomprehensible and I wondered where and when he would stop. He had no boundaries and I couldn't do anything but lay back and let it happen.

Daniel spread my legs, massaging the big, tense, inner muscles. I closed my eyes while his thumbs forced its way under the elastic band, stroking and squeezing my labia. His breathing was slow, deep and I wondered if he was already about to orgasm.

He opened the snaps on the front of my diaper and unwrapped it carefully as if it was a precious gift, something he had never seen before. It was yellow, wet and smelled like old pee, yet he put his face in it, absorbed it with all his senses. Then his tongue went to my vulva, licking my moist pubic hair and my lips. Fresh droplets were shimmering in it, I lost some urine but thank god I didn't flood him. He licked them out of my muff.

I looked down at myself. Saw his head between my legs, my diaper still underneath my butt. I saw myself the way I am, the way I look at myself and smell myself. When I am not with someone I need to please for who I am not. But the way I am when I masturbate and have time to myself and I am shielded for what I am ashamed of.

And yet this man was conquering me the way I am. Incited by what others dislike. Loving my body the way I love myself, my feelings of excitement, heat and arousal. Daniel was so into me that I didn't consider his needs. I surrendered myself to him the way I had never done before to a man. He entered my body and all my senses. As his dick hit my inside high up I felt my bladder releasing its water. Never was I so relaxed peeing while being fucked and I never thought I could. I put my finger between my lips, pressed my urethra against his pumping shaft and while I squirted out piss his penis struck my peehole.

I felt like I flooded him, his mattress and the floor. But he wanted more, I wanted more. More warmth, more of my liquid, more stroking. Daniel released his own liquid, his thick warm juicy cum into me. My finger was still near his shaft going in and out of me, picking up his jelly and my own lube. I smeared our fluids around my clit, my peehole. Daniel pumped hard and deep into me as if he wanted to cleave my uterus while I stroked my clit and came hard squirting, screaming and sweating.

I captured Daniel, conquered him, his new life as a divorced man. My piss had soaked his new mattress, his floor and was absorbed by his lonings. The mess I made, we made was to me the outcome and for Daniel the essence of the best sex.

Daniel opened a world of sex, a world in which I had a lot to learn.