Can I Have Your Autograph

“’One inch…two inches…three…uhhh…inches’ I counted aloud as he slid himself into my lubed up, sweaty derriere. My face was buried in the blue pillowcase I had pulled off of the pillow during our earlier tussling. My hands clutched tightly at the edges of the silk bedsheets, already torn off and half on the floor. Suddenly, I lost count in my little game as he swiftly plunged his remaining manhood with great force into the splayed and undoubtedly red flesh of my bunghole. I cried out in sharp pain that went directly into a long, drawn-out sigh. At last, I knew I had met the man I was destined to marry!”

I turned the book over somewhat incredulously to check the cover again. “Passion’s Memory, an erotic Victorian romance by Penelope Mayfair” So this is what they’re putting in romance novels these days. I had been managing MallBooks for five years and all the time I was blissfully unaware that women were buying hardcore porn disguised as romance novels! And now this Penelope Mayfair was going to be speaking at the MallBooks regional sales conference this weekend. This was my big chance. At first, I knew that I had to have her for an autographing. Eventually, after immersing myself in her perverted fantasies, I knew I just had to have HER!

Over the next few days, I read and re-read her three books, PASSION’S MEMORY, NIGHTS OF GLORY and LOVE’S HONOUR’S PASSIONS. I made myself cum to the point where I was surprised I could still move. These “romances” were hotter than any porn I had ever read. I figured that she had to be “researching” these things constantly…which is probably why she was coming to our sales conference: fresh meat!

“Glory lay spread-eagled on the great wooden bed, blindfolded and surrounded by seven naked men sporting massive erections. ‘One of you will win my heart tonight. The one who can make me scream in ecstasy will be mine and inherit my father’s fortune. Each of you has three minutes. My eyes will remain covered until such time as there is a winner, thus protecting your anonymity. Now, gentlemen…take me!’ With that, a strapping young buck climbed aboard and placed his penis at the entrance to her soaking love tunnel” Damn, now that’s literature!

The day before the sales conference, I called the manager of the Flatland Mall store. I had to tell someone! “I tell you, Rob, she is hot! You have got to read these!”

“Look, Jack, I told you, I do not read romances.”

“I have GOT to have her, buddy. This weekend, I am gonna do anything I can to get little Miss Penelope Mayfair into a…shall we say, compromising position.”

“Bet you can’t”, he said assuredly.

“You’re on, asshole. One week’s paycheck says I’m right, she’s hot and I get well into her pants AND panties before she even speaks on Sunday night.”

“Done you horndog. Just because a novelist writes a hot book, doesn’t mean she’s easy…or even hot for that matter. And it certainly doesn’t mean she’d be hot for you,” he laughed.

“You’ll see. I’ve read all of her books and I know just what she’d like…and I can give it to her!”

The weekend finally arrived. The regional sales conference was being held at a hotel in the next town so I had about a one-hour drive. I used it to plan my strategies.

After checking in at the hotel, I wandered around for awhile trying to spot her. It occurred to me that her books didn’t have a picture of her at all. I had no idea what Penelope Mayfair looked like. She wasn’t scheduled to speak until Saturday night. I had seminars until 5. She would have to be at the hotel by then and I had free time after that until the dinner that night. But first, I had to find her.

When I got out of the third sales seminar, I mulled about in the lobby and started asking people if they’d seen her. “Excuse me, is Penelope Mayfair here yet?”

“Hmmmm? Oh, I don’t know, check with the desk.”

Of course! I headed straight to the lobby and was told that she had just checked in about a half-hour before. “In fact, I just saw her come down in the elevator and head in that direction.” She pointed down a hall towards another conference area. I practically ran along the corridor, bumping into a little old lady as I turned the corner.

I recognized one of the people from the Home Office and I asked, “Hi. Have you seen our guest of honor? I was told she just came this way.”

“Sure”, he pointed. “She’s right over there.”

Damn! I was right! He pointed directly at a slim, platinum haired cutie with perky tits, lots of teeth and the shortest skirt I’d seen in years! She was chatting with a group of my fellow managers. “Uhhh, Excuse me, I’ve been wanting to meet you all day. My name’s Jack Price.”

“Hi”, she said, extending her hand. “I’m….”

“Oh, I know who you are.” I interrupted. In fact, I….uhhh, well, could I buy you a drink?”

“Sure. Come on.”

I’m not giving away all my seduction secrets but let’s just say that a half-hour and three margarhitas later found us giggling our way back to her room at the hotel. She slid the card in the lock and beckoned me in. I closed the door. I was about to succeed beyond my wildest dreams.

“ I have GOT to pee!,” she moaned with a hint of desperation.

“Me too, “ I said, “so hurry up.”

“Go ahead,” she said in a sexy voice. “Don’t let me stop you.” She pulled up her skirt and plopped down on the toilet right in front of me, kicking baby blue panties into the shower stall. She was giggling like she was a lot tipsier than she was. My eyes went to her pussy, naturally, and I was surprisingly aroused to see a long noisy squirt of yellow pee shoot out of it. “Come on, fucker. When you gotta go, you gotta go!” This was more than a little kinky and more than a little arousing. I approached the toilet and she spread her sleek legs wide. “Come on, baby. It’ll be fun. I’ll give you a present afterwards.” I unzipped myself and I was already half hard. I aimed my dick as best as I could between her legs and peed, even as she continued to do so, also. Damn! She laughed like a crazy person as my growing hard-on caused me to splash a little on her thighs. She wiped and then, without missing a beat, leaned forward and took my now very hard cock into the warm confines of her mouth. As blowjobs go, this was a definite “ten”. The fact that she was tasting drops of my piss was bizarrely exciting to me. Her tongue seemed to know just what to do to the head of my cock. She rolled it around and stuffed it into her cheeks, licking the veiny sides of my dick like it had never been licked before. She rose from the toilet seat and pushed me back onto the plush white bathroom rug.

Without saying a word, she climbed on top of me in the classic “69” position. “Lick my ass, motherfucker, and I’ll keep sucking you off. Don’t you dare touch my pussy…’til I tell you!”

Whoa! This was just a tad kinkier than anything I had expected. Even though I had never done it before, I was in no position to turn her down. Her cheeks were sitting on my face with her pink little anus winking at me and her pussy dripping juices onto my shirt. Her right hand balanced herself as she continued licking my cock and her left was juggling my balls. There was only one thing to do. I began licking her crack with my hands pulling her cheeks apart. Occasionally, my nose tickled her (thankfully) sweet-smelling rosebud. She plopped me out of her mouth long enough to remind me, “Lick it! Stick your tongue up my hot ass!” I did. Her sphincter was tight but I was able to squeeze the tip of my tongue inside her and twirl it around. “Ohhhhhh, YES!!! That’s it, that’s it!” She stopped sucking and sat directly on my face, bouncing her hips in imitation of fucking. I was fucking her ass with my tongue…and I could not believe how much I was enjoying it!

Unexpectedly, she leapt up, pulled me to my feet and said “Now I’ve got a surprise for you!” My God, what did she think the rest of this shit was? It certainly wasn’t the simple lay I was expecting! From out of her suitcase, she produced two pair of handcuffs and smiled, her tongue sticking out of her mouth like a cat’s.

Before I really knew what was happening, and in spite of my meager protests, she had cuffed my hands and feet to the edges of the bed. I lay spread-eagled on the bedspread with my cock jutting out and bobbing. She licked her lips but then produced a giant pink feather from that suitcase. She crawled up onto the bed like an animal, alternately growling and giggling. She used the feather to tickle my toes and then ran it sensuously up my legs, bypassing my nuts and going for my nipples. She tickled lightly, then pinched them and finally took my right nipple into her mouth, sucking hard. Part of me was getting just a bit scared of this lunatic nympho! Other parts of me were having the time of their life! Eventually, the feather did get to my balls, giving me a sensual, almost uncontrollable rush. As my cock bobbed up and down, obviously close to climax, she reached up and squeezed the vein on the side, which made the feeling subside. “Uh, uh, uh!”, she scolded. “Not yet little boy!” Tossing the feather aside, my captor pushed her head up between my legs, briefly lapping my ass with her tongue before nearly succeeding in getting my entire, engorged nutsack into her mouth. She sucked on my balls almost painfully, running her sharp nails across my legs. The mixture of sensations was dark and heady.

“Does Mama’s little boy went some pussy now? Hmmmmmmm?” She literally walked up the bed, her big, full tits heaving and squatted over my face. “Make me cum with your mouth and I’ll fuck you!”, she ordered. Dutifully, I stuck my tongue out and touched the wettest, tastiest pussy I have ever imagined. I pulled against my cuffs, wanting to use my hands to help but I was trapped. She seemed lost, now, in another world, as she just felt the building sensations. My face got sloppier and sloppier with her pussy juice and I almost gagged once or twice but, like a trooper, I came through. She howled: “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Motherfucker, YES, YES, YES, SUCK……IT!….. UNGHHHHHHHH, YES!!!, Oooohhhhhhhhh, yeeesssssss! Oh!” As things subsided, she quickly brought her face to mine. She stared a glassy stare, brightly smiled and began licking her own juices off of my face. Finally, she fed them back to me with deep soul kisses.

“You’ve been such a good boy, “ she cooed almost patronizingly. As I had through this whole event, I remained silent, not having a clue where she’d go next. It wasn’t for the cuff keys. Instead, she took her sloppy pussy directly over my dick and plopped down onto it, bouncing quickly with her long hair falling over her face. I could tell this wasn’t going to take long. She must have sensed me tense up because she popped up and finished me off with her hand. I shot the biggest load I have ever shot. Most of it went on my stomach but she aimed some at her breasts and got some on her fingers, which she licked off enthusiastically.

I don’t remember when she took the cuffs off but about an hour later we woke up together in bed. She glanced at the digital clock. “Oh, God, we’re gonna be late!”, she said. “You go on down and I’ll see you there.” I murmured some truly insignificant “thank you's” for what was easily the most erotic experience of my life and dressed quickly. “Go!”, she ordered. On my way toward the door, I slipped into the bathroom and picked up the panties she had kicked off. I raised them to my nose and they smelled of sex. I had the proof that would win my bet!

I was able to sit at a table alone with Rob right near the stage. “Cough up the paycheck, pal. I have just had the kinkiest, most amazing experience with Miss Penelope Mayfair.”

“Oh yeah, right. I’ve seen her, asshole and I guarantee she’s not your type.”

“That’s what you say. I, on the other hand, come bearing tales of watersports and bondage and oral sex and…”

“She pissed on you?”

“Well, no. Actually, she had me piss on her”

“Jack…”

“…and then she handcuffed me to the bed and she came up with this giant feather somewhere and….oh! She forced me to lick her ass!”

He laughed, obviously not believing a word. “You motherfucking liar. I tell you I’ve seen her and you wouldn’t do her for a million bucks! Especially not that kinky shit. No proof, no paycheck!”

“Oh, ye of little faith”, I said assuredly as I pulled the smelly baby blue panties out of my pants pocket and tossed them in his lap. “Proof equals paycheck.”

“What the fuck? Jack…you didn’t…?” I nodded smugly. “You crazy SOB, you did fuck Penelope Mayfair, didn’t you?”

"She’s insatiable, man. I tell you.”

“I know its been a long time between girlfriends, pal but I didn’t realize how desperate you were.” He laughed but he signed his paycheck over to me and I slipped it into my wallet.

The lights in the room dimmed. “Ladies and gentlemen, fellow managers, tonight’s guest speaker, Miss Penelope Mayfair.” I applauded loudly as I watched for my lover to come out but the only person who walked out onto the platform was the little old lady I had bumped into earlier. Rob slapped me on the back, laughing heartily as the applause died down. I was very confused.

“Good evening, all. I am Penelope Mayfair.” Said the little old lady. I sat stunned as she continued. “I’d like to thank you all for such a warm welcome. Some of you managers have just locked up your whole schedule to help make my stay a pleasant one but a couple of you have given me a real tongue-lashing for my books. It’s so hot here!”

Rob held his hand over his face laughing. “What’s going on, here?”, I asked, “Who is that woman? That’s not Penelope Mayfair.”

“Of course it is Romeo. If you’d bothered to look at her picture on the back of the free copies of her new book, “Love’s Dark Castle” that they were giving out in the atrium this afternoon….”

“But I was WITH her, this afternoon. Well, not HER. I mean…. Here take back your paycheck. I didn’t sleep with HER.”

“Oh, no, pal. You earned it! I heard her signaling you just now. ‘Tongue-lashing?, Locked up? Isn’t it HOT here? Hah! And I’m gonna make sure that everyone knows that you were her lucky stud for the conference.” Penelope Mayfair droned on about something or other but I just hung my head in confusion. I had scratches on my legs, bite marks on my balls and dried cum in my underwear…but who the hell did I fuck? I couldn’t even remember what room it was.

I wandered through Day 2 in a haze going to conferences and seminars without really paying any attention. Finally, at the last conference, we were introduced to the new Regional Autographing Coordinator. “Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Cybil Datsun.” It was her! All clear-eyed and sober but it was her! She ignored me completely as she talked about new procedures for acquiring merchandise, setting up autographings and handling promotion. I hung on every word but couldn’t wait to talk to her afterwards. Her talk ended, someone else was introduced and Cybil unexpectedly left the room. I hurried outside but didn’t see her anywhere. After wandering around for awhile, I stood lost up against the corridor wall. Suddenly, I heard a humming behind me and Cybil walked quickly by, but not before dropping something in my pants pocket. I reached in and pulled out a pair of the handcuffs. A post it note said “Your turn. Room 166. 10 minutes.” My heart started racing. I looked around and then ran after her. I may not have gotten an autographing with Penelope Mayfair but something told me I had made a good impression on the new autographing coordinator. And oh, the things I’d do to get a good autographing.

END