It's two months into the COVID pandemic lockdown and my roommates won't shut the fuck up. They've been bickering since day 3, every since Ryan complained about Casey's mess in the kitchen. "Am I going to have to live in this filth for months, Casey?" "Stop being such a fucking neat freak, Ryan!"
They never really got along as roommates, but the tension of lockdown has made it worse day by day. Our other roommates are gone for the weekend, and I've decided that these two need to share a common goal. Something to bring them together, or at least make them compete against each other and get the god damned tension out.
We sit down to beers and Netflix on Friday night, Sam and Alex having already left for camping with friends at Mt. Rainier.
"What do y'all wanna watch?" I ask.
"I don't care," Casey shrugs.
"Of course you don't," Ryan replies, rolling her eyes.
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Casey demands.
"You know what it's supposed to mean --" she says right as I say, "Suck my fucking cock, both of you."
Ryan looks outraged but flounders for words, while Casey laughs and says "She'd like that."
"What?" she screeches. "You're so dirty, I bet you'd like to deepthroat him," she challenges, but her face goes red as she says it.
"You wish you could," Casey retorts. "You'd probably choke."
"No I wouldn't!" she says, going redder.