Chapter 1: Bursting in the Bathroom
Chapter 2: Bursting in the Bedroom
This is Chapter 3: Bursting in the Boardroom
I didn't dare open Caleb's messages for a couple of days. I couldn't bare the humiliation of what had happened. It was hard enough to get my head around what I'd enjoyed, and sharing that with someone, but knowing his flatmates had probably overheard us was worse. I spent the weekend hiding out at my house, I didn't go out, and I barely went online. I was incredibly grateful that he didn't know where I lived, but Monday would be here tomorrow and I'd have to brave the world and go outside to work. I could call in sick, but Xander would know better - he'd come round and make sure I was okay and I couldn't pretend to be sick around him.
I opened my messaging app a couple of times and saw the preview of what he'd sent "Zoe, it's not what you think pleas--." I'm sure he'd come up with an explanation, but would it make me feel better? I doubt it. They were all so good looking, and they know my friends, and they all know my secrets now. Would they tell Xander? He was my best friend and I worked with him. I'd die before telling him about any of this. If he found out, I'd have to quit. I googled jobs and flats in other cities, trying to find somewhere to relocate to, where I could have vanilla sex and be normal and no one would know. I could never be that spontaneous to just up and leave but it made me feel better thinking I could.
As I was looking at my 3rd city for houses well out of my budget, my phone starting ringing. Xander was calling.
I pressed the green phone button to answer and stopped breathing, bracing myself for him telling me how disgusting I was, but he didn't say that. "Hey hey, how's it going?"
"Fine, not really feeling right though, is it important?"
"Aww - need anything?"
"No, don't think so, I'm just resting."
"Oh, cool, well I was just ringing as I'd had a message from Caleb - he said you went on a date! I was surprised you hadn't mentioned it." His tone was cheery and friendly. I guessed he didn't know.
"Yeah, we went for drinks, nothing too exciting."
"Yeah but he was messaging to make sure he hadn't scared you off, since you haven't messaged since or something, so I thought I'd check in," Xander said.
"What exactly did he say?"
"Hang on, let me get the message... okay, here; 'Hey mate, you know that woman Zoe? We met at your party and ended up having drinks the other night. I kinda liked her but she's not messaged back - just wondering if she's checked in with you and if maybe I scared her off? Hoping not but if you could put a good word in for me I'd appreciate.' Did he scare you off?"
I paused to think about how I wanted to handle this. I could tell him he did, but that would be a lie, and he'd get protective and maybe make the situation worse. I couldn't have that because then the truth could come out.
"No, no, he didn't do anything. I actually had a really good time, but I just haven't been feeling well since, might have caught a bug or something, that's why I haven't messaged back. I'll reply to him."
"Sounds good, he seems like a decent guy."
"He seems close with his flatmates?" I asked, hopefully nonchalantly.
"Yeah they've lived together forever, we've hung out a few times, I know Vic most from the gym."
"Cool, anything I should know about them?"
"Like what?"
"Never mind," I said, "I'll go now."
"Okay, feel better."
I sat with that for a minute. It didn't seem like Xander knew anything out of the ordinary about them, otherwise he would have told me, or vaguely warned me away. I opened Caleb's messages.
22:33: 'Zoe, it's not what you think please come back.'
22:34: 'I'm outside trying to find you - I just want to talk.'
22:43: 'I didn't lie to you, I promise, they were supposed to be out, but their plans cancelled and they thought they could sneak back, they didn't think they'd bother us and they didn't tell me.'
22:58: 'Okay I get you don't want to see me, but did you make it home safe?'
23:43: 'I didn't mean for this to happen and I'm sorry to message again, but I had the most amazing night ever and I don't want to sound too intense but it would kill me if we couldn't do it again. Yes, we saw you at the party and we knew that you'd pissed yourself, but honestly that's what made me sign up to that site, because it was hot and I wanted to explore that with someone. I didn't realise it was you until they said it, but we talk about this stuff, the three of us, and we all like it - not all of us in the same way exactly, but we're all into pee stuff. I don't know if that makes it better or worse, but I thought knowing about them might make you feel better about them knowing about you. I'll stop messaging now, but I hope you message back. Caleb x.'
I typed out several versions of a reply but I just didn't know what to say. 'Hello, yes all that is fine, how about another sex date?', 'Well how about we all hang out together sometime?', and my personal favourite, 'Yeah but I know that you all wank together, go to the bathroom together and probably do more together, so how about you tell me about that?'
After not sending a single message, I decided to sleep on it and leave it another night. After a restless night, I reluctantly got up and went to work. Me and Xander worked at a local bookshop slash retro music shop where the owner was more like a silent partner and let us have free reign over how we ran the place. I was more the bookworm, focusing on author events and the book stock, whereas Xander bought in vinyls and CD's to sell them on. It kept us pretty busy, and Monday was a bank holiday so most people had had some time off work and took the opportunity to have a day out. We barely stopped serving customers until about 3 o'clock when everything died down.
"Hey Zoe, want to clock off early?"
"We should tidy up and do some admin if we're quiet", I said, grabbing a stack of receipts to log, and checking the pockets in my denim skirt for a pen.
"I can do that, and it was actually in exchange of a favour."
I gave him a side eye, and gave him my fake suspicious look. He laughed heartily.
"It's not that bad - I just got a call from someone who needs some last minute gifts and asked if they can be delivered. They've paid by card, and gave us a generous tip that will pay for at least a round of drinks next pub night. If you do the delivery you can just head home after that - I'll hold down the fort till closing?"
"Why don't you do the delivery and I'll hold down the fort?"
"For... reasons?" He said, and I gave him my real suspicious look for that.
"I just can't be arsed, call me lazy. It was leg day at the gym this morning and I don't want to use my legs any more." He sat down and made a show of struggling. I didn't believe him but after that busy day I wouldn't have minded an extra hour at home.
"Fine, what's the address?" I said. It was an office close by, a 20 minute walk. I chugged down the last of a bottle of water that I'd been drinking, my third of the afternoon on a warm day, and grabbed the bag which had been prepped.