The first thing that attracted me to Janine was her long hair. I know that sounds kind of shallow, but then you've never seen her hair. I almost didn't.
My first glimpse, at a company picnic, was serendipity. I was watching one of those three-legged races. Janine and a girlfriend were running, but not very well. I had barely noticed her until she fell down, when the impact must have knocked her bun loose. As she got up, up with her came a flowing cape of deep brown hair. The wind was strong that day, and blew it all around her. I was suddenly awe struck by her beauty, but somewhat puzzled by the embarrassed look on her face as she quickly gathered up her hair, twisted it up and fastened it to her head. It puzzled me why a woman with such beautiful hair would hide it. I've always had a strong attraction to women with beautiful hair -- the longer the better. I was too shy to approach her that day, but I knew I had to meet her.
I asked around and learned her name is Janine. Then it dawned on me who she was. She works in the legal department of our large Midwestern corporation, where she's charge of the paralegals. Janine was always getting her name in the company newsletter for serving on committees, everything from Christmas party planning to a group from legal doing pro bono work for battered women. Sometimes the articles had a small picture of her, an attractive face with a rather severe-looking bun.
I made up excuses to visit her department on the other side of our office campus. I even signed up for a committee she headed to get to know Janine.
Work committees are usually excuses to goof off, but she runs a tight ship. I asked one of her workers if she was always like that. "Janine knows what she wants," the woman said. "And she doesn't take bullshit from anyone." I hoped she would want me, and after a few weeks, I eventually got up the nerve to ask her out on a date. When she agreed to see a movie with me, I couldn't believe it.
All this time when I'd seen her at the office, Janine always wore her hair up. I hoped she might wear it down on our date. I even wore a short-sleeved polo shirt, hoping I might be able to put my arm around her during the movie, just to feel her hair against my forearm. Even though she dashed my hopes that first evening, we had a great time. The movie was mindlessly funny, and we laughed at many of the same jokes. We talked during a late dinner, mostly about work -- not too much about ourselves. I was getting worried she wasn't interested enough in me, but when I asked if I could take her out again sometime, she said yes.
"When's good for you?" I asked.
"Ask me next week," Janine replied.
Now I thought she was putting me off again, but I didn't say anything.
All the next week I practiced being a good sport when she shot me down. Because of her work with abused women, the last thing I wanted to think was that I was obsessed with her, or wouldn't leave her alone if she wanted me to.
I stopped by her office with the excuse of talking about committee work. She saw straight through it.
"You've got me," I confessed. "I wanted to ask you out again."
"You did," Janine said, without the hint of a question mark in her voice. I felt like I was 13 years old, asking for my first date.
"Yeah. I thought maybe we could see a concert at the bowl. Take a picnic supper."
"Before I agree, I want to know something," Janine said. "You must answer truthfully." I felt like I was being cross-examined.
"I'm always honest."
"What did you tell people about our date last week?" she said.
Oh, God, I thought, a test.
"Nothing," I said, hoping this was the right answer.
"And you're sure?" she asked. I nodded.
"I don't like people talking about me behind my back. If anything gets back to me that you've said, you'll be sorry. Understood?"
"Don't worry," I tried to reassure her.
"I'm a very private person." Janine seemed to soften, apologizing for being so hard on me. We set a date for Saturday evening for the concert.
There's something about the light an hour before sunset that can transform an ordinary landscape into a scene worthy of a Sierra Club calendar. In that early evening glow, Janine looked magnificent sitting on the blanket at the bowl before the concert started.
She doesn't have a Hollywood starlet's body, but her cotton blouse gave me a better peek at her small yet firm looking breasts. And her slightly tight khakis revealed a nicely rounded bottom usually hidden by the long jackets she favors at work.
And her hair? Still up, but in a more romantic style -- kind of a loose bun that moved when she turned her head. A few strands fell loose, catching the light behind her and creating almost a halo effect.
As darkness fell and the concert began, we cleared the dishes and sat closer together, holding hands. After intermission, when several of our neighbors had left, I lightly kissed her cheek, just in front of her left ear. She turned her head and our lips met.
We necked for awhile as I held Janine in my arms. I found my hands wandering towards the back of her neck and hairline.
I felt a shiver in her body, and a strengthening in her kisses. My eyes darted around to see if we were alone. Yes. As my hand advanced toward the bun, I felt like a teenager planning the best way to unsnap a cheerleader's bra.
"What are you doing?" she asked, a hint of crossness in her voice.
"Nothing," I replied sheepishly, moving my hands back down her bare neck.
"Really?" she asked. "Are you sure?"
"Well," I confessed, "I thought maybe you might let your hair down."
"Why?"
"Just because."
"Don't give me that. Tell me, now."
"I'd love to run my fingers through it."
"Would you," she replied, no hint of a question in her voice. Somewhat embarrassed, I didn't push it. She let it drop, and we didn't talk about it again for several months. I figured it eventually had to come down sometime, and it would be worth the wait.
Janine and I continued dating, but we never got past cuddling and necking. She always seemed guarded, trying to maintain control.
During my visits to her office I'd noticed a framed print of a bald eagle in flight, and asked if she'd ever seen one in the wild.
"No, but I'd love to."
"I've read that this time of year over by the Mississippi River they gather around open water below the dams. We should go sometime -- for a weekend."
"A weekend?"
"Sure. There's lots of bed and breakfasts along the river. Then we can--"
"Shh." Janine put her fingers to my lips. "We'll see."
"But--"