Bone In The Dirt

This story is submitted for the Crime and Punishment 2024 Author Challenge event. Although it is my first entry into this event, it is the third appearance of private investigator Richard Bone. If you enjoy it, you may want to check out Bone in the Skeleton's Closet and Bone Picked Clean.

-N2P

Hollywood came calling the other day, woke me up early after a bad night. No, it wasn't Spielberg offering to make me a star. But I'll be damned if it wasn't almost as good.

As a private investigator in Los Angeles I'm no stranger to the seamier side of the entertainment industry. But most of my contact has been with the people behind the scenes and on the margins, production assistants, 2nd unit directors, porn producers, drug guys trying to launder money. In a town where status is judged by how close you are to the stars, I was about on the same level as the guy peddling maps to their homes.

But the call I got that morning looked like maybe it could change all that. A messed-up kid I helped a few years back when he was in law school had gone and turned himself into a big shot, polished Hollywood lawyer with some high profile clients. Wonders never cease, at least not here in the land of dreams.

The lawyer, Scott, remembered me and looked me up. He said one of his clients had gotten herself mixed up in a situation where they could use my expertise. Scott didn't tell me who his client was, but he did say I would likely recognize her, and he was relying on my ability to keep things confidential. I put on my cleanest, crispest white dress shirt, and the one suit I had that famous rich people might not sneer at, hopped in my car, and headed downtown for a 10am meeting.

Scott's office was in a corporate tower. He was attached to one of those big talent agencies that represent famous actors, "handling" their careers, managing publicity, booking gigs, whatever they need, for anywhere from 10-25% of the action. The fact they were calling me said there was something going on here that the corporate guys wouldn't or couldn't touch.

Was this my big break? My chance to move into the big time, with high class clients and money to throw around, living large? Probably not. I'd sniffed it a couple times before but never got invited to the table. Not my lot in life, I figured. I was probably more of the servant's entrance type. But even knowing it doesn't stop a guy from trying. Maybe this time...I couldn't help but think...just maybe...

I've got a pretty good poker face but I'm sure my pupils must have dilated at least a little when I stepped into Scott's office and saw her. The one and only Z. I'd know her anywhere, right down to the famous mole. Sure, she was a little older but she still looked fantastic. Ever been around a woman so beautiful it seemed like there was a glow around her? Radiant? Luminous? Aren't those the words they use? She was all that and more. Instantly, I could see why she was famous. Regular people simply don't look like that.

When I was a teen I actually had one of the Playboys she was in. Beat off to it often enough that the pages stuck together. Now here in the flesh I had to actively try to shut down that response and see if maybe I could dig deep and dredge up a little charm and class.

Scott stepped in to help. "Rick, this is Z. Z, this is the private investigator I was telling you about, Rick Bone."

"Pleased to meet you, Mr. Bone. My, you are big, aren't you?" She stuck out her hand.

"6'6", 250." I was used to the question. Most clients comment on it when they meet me. I took her hand. It was definitely female, but she was confident, not dainty. I'm not gonna lie. I was thrilled just to touch her. "Pleasure to meet you too. I'm a big fan." Had to cut it short there. Didn't want to go all fanboy on her. It was then that I noticed the stunner on the couch a few steps away. She was clearly younger than Z, and there was a resemblance. The stunner got up.

"This is my daughter, Y." She came over to take my hand as well.

"Nice to meet you, Y." I knew Z's daughter was an actress. I'd heard of her, so that meant she must be at least kind of famous, but I couldn't tell you what she'd been in or how her career was doing. One thing for sure though, she was drop dead gorgeous. The apple didn't fall far. I wasn't sure what was up yet, but I was thinking it looked like maybe the daughter had got herself mixed up in some kind of trouble.

"Let's get down to it, shall we?" Scott motioned for us all to take a seat. We did. "Rick, this is about Extortion. There's a video, illegally obtained, involving my clients." He motioned toward Z and Y. Suffice to say this video is of a highly personal nature. This isn't a typical celeb-type situation where it might be embarrassing, but the results of disclosure would be arguably career-enhancing. No. This is almost certainly a career-destroying event if this gets out. So we're pulling out all stops, coming at this from all sides, guns blazing. Your angles and connections are unique. We can't afford to close off any avenue."

"I can appreciate that, Scott. What specifically did you have in mind? Where do I fit in?

"The Extortion demand first came in a text message yesterday. Our investigators have been able to determine it was sent from a burner phone. That phone was sold at a CVS on Figueroa on April 18, one of only 3 phones sold that day. All three were purchased with credit cards. One of the cards belongs to Sofia Machado, who turns out to be the side piece of Y's former boyfriend. We think either the former boyfriend, or Sofia, or someone Sofia knows, must have arranged for the recording of the tape, and masterminded the whole scheme."

"Sounds like you've already done some good work. I'm guessing no cops?"

"No cops. Involving the police takes too much out of our control. We can't trust the LAPD to keep a lid on something as sensational as this, and frankly, catching these people and making them pay is nowhere near as important to us as keeping this quiet."

"Where do I come in?"

"Hidden cameras were placed at the Chateau Marmont, in a bungalow my clients are known to favor. The perps sent a quick preview clip to prove they had the goods. The ex-boyfriend knew the location. We're not sure who planted the cameras, or when. That's not the main concern. The girl, Sofia, is a former dancer at Rico's. I think you know the owner, Rico Spinelli."

"Yeah, I know Rico." Rico and I go way back. Twenty-five years ago, when I was just a dumb kid with a big dick, straight out of the Army, Rico got me a job in porn. I only lasted a few months before I got out. Believe it or not, getting paid to fuck hot chicks wasn't as glamorous as I'd imagined. Soul-destroying is more like what it was, but that was more on account of the people in that business, at least the ones I ran into back then. I think Scot knew that much of my back story from the jam I'd helped him with years before.

"We think there's a chance Sofia will—or already has—contact Rico trying to find a buyer for the tape."

"So you want me to talk to Rico, see what I can find out?"

"Yeah, that's part of it . We don't know who else Sofia knows. We don't know if Rico's the buyer, or if they even have one yet. There might be others involved. We need to figure out the whole picture and figure it out fast to stop this thing before it goes too far. We've managed to stall them a little, but we've only got two more days to come up with the money. We'll pay if we have to, but either way we've got to make sure this never comes out. Never."

"Just snoop around? Anything else from my end?"

"Use your judgment, Rick. You know the goal here. We're not too picky about how we get there, understood? And I don't think I need to remind you that depending on how it goes, there are some things that I, as an officer of the court, or this agency or any of our representatives, might not need to know."

"Yeah. I got ya."

Z spoke up. "I've authorized Scott to triple your usual fee, Mr. Bone. Please help us."

A woman in distress always gets me, at least a little, but when it's someone I used to fantasize about, well it got to me even more. "I'll do my best," I told her. But I also noticed that Scott had only offered me double. That kinda pissed me off. Here I was doing him a favor and all by running straight down here. Scott and I could take that up later.

"Here are the details you'll need to get started." Scott handed me a sheet of paper with the names and addresses of Sofia and the boyfriend. I shot him a glance.

"Triple your usual fee," he added. Fucking slimeball. Is that what law school does to ya?

I made my exit. Despite thinking Scott should have done me better, I couldn't be too pissed. He was the reason I was rubbing shoulders with the stars. Also, three grand a day made me feel better, even if he was only gonna give me two. I wondered if he'd been planning to keep the extra grand for himself.

They really were a little thin on the details, but from what I could piece together, it sounded like this had to be some kind of sex tape, almost certainly involving Y, on account of the former boyfriend. That didn't explain to me why it was such a big deal, bigger than any of the others, but I suppose that was not my concern. I was getting paid to do a job, and paid pretty well, at that.

I didn't want to see Rico, not just yet. Rico is a real piece of work. Last time I'd seen him it didn't exactly end on the best of terms. There's no way I was gonna go in on him unprepared. I had to find out a little more first.

I called in the info on the suspects to my electronics guy, Tripod, so he could get a jump on it. Right away, he let me know Y's former boyfriend was a show-biz type, one of those actor/producer/YouTube star/content creators, a young guy on the make who seems to be chasing fame and fortune too hard, in a thousand directions. They either hit it, or flame out. Call it intuition, but he struck me as a pretender, not hard core enough to try to pull off Extortion, not to mention he was so close that he would have known he'd be an obvious suspect.

I was guessing odds were the ex-boyfriend had blabbed something to the former stripper, and the girl had either blabbed it to someone who saw an opportunity, or else she was the one who was behind this. That meant Sofia was my first stop.

I went to scope out Sofia's place. I figured the corporate guys would be watching her too. It didn't take me long to spot them. They were across the street and three doors over, with a camera in a window pointed toward Sofia's half of a duplex. I made sure to settle in down the street, out of their field of view. Plus I got Tripod to put a tap on her phone.

No, I didn't have a court order. I knew the corporate guys wouldn't do it. This is why Scott called me. He knew I didn't always let that kind of thing stop me. Two hours in she made a call, asked a guy to drop by the "insurance policy" she needed. Half hour later a guy drives up, goes to the door, hands her an envelope, and leaves. I got Tripod to run his plates. He lives just off Figueroa near the CVS. The corporate guys will have run his plates too, only they won't go the extra mile like Tripod does. Tripod also checks against change of address filed with the utility companies. Nobody updates their DMV shit. The corporate guys were probably looking in Ventura while I was over off Figueroa paying our guy a visit.

On the way, I dropped by to pick up my tech guy, Tripod. I wouldn't do that normally, but since time was essential, I didn't want to waste any. I needed Tripod to authenticate any video files we might find, maybe break encryption, I wasn't sure, but he could help me figure it out quick. Plus, a little backup is always good, even if Tripod is a foot shorter than me and over a hundred pounds lighter.

I knocked on the guy's door, and when he opened it, I forced myself in and slammed him against the wall. Tripod followed close behind, shut the door, and kept lookout in case anyone else showed up. We weren't sure we were alone in the house. Oh yeah. Tripod had his glock out. I don't carry.

"Where's the video?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Funny how they always say that at first.

"Look, we know it was you. Now you can either make this easy, or make this hard."

"I tell you I don't know..." I put a fist in his middle, hard. He would have doubled over if I wasn't holding him up. While he fought for air I laid it out for him.

"The credit card, dipshit. You bought the phone with Sofia's card."

It started to dawn on him. "But how could you..."

"First word of advice. If you're going to do crime, don't be a dipshit. Cops may not be the brightest, but dipshits get caught."

He could tell I meant business, and his options were limited. 6'6'', 250 with an attitude will have that effect on a guy.

"Look," I explained. "You're not getting the money. That's done. The only thing left to decide is whether or not you walk away from this. So decide. Now. Hand over the file or I turn you and this place inside out until I find it."

He froze, thinking it over.

"Hey. You lost this one. It happens. More free advice: take the loss and move on." I guess he came to his senses and saw it my way. He walked over to a laptop sitting out on his kitchen counter.

"It's on there." Dipshit. Not even hidden.

I motioned for Tripod to take a look. "What about the copies."

"No copies man, I swear."

"Open it. Tripod here can tell if a copy was made. If you're telling the truth, maybe I'll buy you a bus ticket outta here. If you're lying, it's gonna be worse for ya, just for being an asshole and putting me through the trouble."

Dumbshits gotta be dumb, I guess. I could tell by how nervous he was that he was lying, but we did the dance.

Tripod got in and ran his check. "One copy," he said.

"Where is it?"

"Shit. It's at Sofia's."

"Let's go."

When we got there, Sofia was a harder case, but maybe just because I don't like to hit a woman. She did not want to talk. Looked like I was gonna have to put on a show. Spielberg should have called me. I can be a pretty good actor.

"How 'bout I cut off dickweed's finger here and shove it up your twat? Which finger does he like to use on you? Index? Middle? Maybe I'll just cut 'em both off."

I took out my knife. He started screaming like a pussy. "Tell him, baby! Tell him!!"

"After the fingers I'm gonna cut off his dick and shove it up your ass." That broke her. She got the thumb drive. It was in an envelope on the top shelf of her kitchen cupboard.

"This the only copy?"

"It is."

Their defeated look said they were telling the truth.

"My advice to you two lovebirds is to find another line of work. And you should probably skip town too, cuz if I find out you're lying, or ever catch wind of your doing something like this again, I'm gonna come back here some night and burn this fucking place to the ground. Ya got me?"

They nodded. I left 'em there to stew in defeat and stupidity.

Before I called Scott, Tripod and I had to check the thumb drive. It was the video all right. But to find the proof I needed I had to fast forward through the first file saved there. It was of a couple I didn't recognize, some dude taking it up the ass from a blonde with a strap-on. Must of been whoever they rented the bungalow out to after the cameras were installed and before Z and Y reserved the place.

The second file on the drive was money. Even if the angles weren't great and there weren't any closeups, it was still pretty unmistakable. There was Z, and Y, and some dude. He sat in a chair while first one girl, then the other, sat back on his dick, reverse cowgirl, while the other girl licked her while she was getting fucked. The guy mostly just sat there, maybe thrust a little while the girls got off, and then after they were done, Z laid back on the bed while the dude jerked off and came all over her face. Then Y rubbed the cum all around Z's face while the dude got dressed and left.

Huh. Not the freakiest thing I'd ever seen, but still a little unusual. I called up Scott and told him we had the goods. All clear. He could call off the team. Twenty minutes later he called me back. Z wanted to be there when I brought the goods in. She wanted to thank me personally.

It was 7:30pm when I got back to Scott's office. Most of the employees were already cleared out. Same day service. Might have been a record for me, or at least damn close. Did Scott remember I had a three day minimum on my fee? I'd hate to get shorted for doing such an excellent job. 9 Grand is a lot of money for me. I was sure Z could afford it. Scott might be a bastard, but I was pretty sure Z would do right by me.

"Scott, would you mind leaving the room for a minute? I'd like to talk to Mr. Bone in private, please." He left. "Did you look at the video, Mr. Bone?"

"Had to make sure I got the real deal, didn't I?"

"I suppose so. So now you know our secret. Are you shocked?"

"A little surprised maybe, but not shocked, exactly."

"Hmmm. Now please be honest with me. Did you get hard? if you don't mind my asking, that is?"

There it was. Every beautiful woman has an ego. "Beautiful naked women always turn me on, at least a little."

"The circle of people that knows our secret is a very small, very select group."

"I'm sure it is."

"And I trust your professional standards mean I can trust you to keep all of this strictly confidential."

"Yes ma'am. I've seen and heard plenty of things that I never talk about."

"Scott told me that years ago, you had a brief career in, shall we say, 'adult' films. Is that right?"

"Yes ma'am it is. But that was more than 25 years ago."

"Can I assume that you are, shall we say, 'equipped' in all the normal ways that make a man successful in that line of work?"

"If you're asking if I have a big dick, the answer is yes."

"You see, that's very interesting to me." She moved closer. "One the one hand, you are now inside our circle of trust." She reached out to run her hand over the growing bulge in my pants. "And on the other, you also come equipped with one of the exceptional qualities we look for in the men we let into that circle."

Y got up from the sofa and came over, close, to rest her hands on my shoulder. She looked me in the eye and delivered her line like a pro. "I'm a total whore for a big cock."

I swallowed hard.

"What do you say, Mr. Bone? Are you interested in becoming a full member of our circle? With all the privileges and benefits?

Y chimed in, "like our own personal 'private dick?'" She chuckled a little at her own joke.

I thought about it for maybe half a second, but I waited at least five seconds before giving her my answer. "Yeah. I think I'd like that."

"Excellent. I'm in a mood to celebrate. What about you Y, are you in a mood to celebrate?"

"With Rick here? Yeah. That sounds yummy."

"Are you free later this evening, Mr. Bone? Say around 10:30, our suite at the Chateau Marmont?"

"I'll be there. Here, you should have this." I handed her a sweeper device Tripod had given me. "This will tell you if there are any unwanted electronic devices spying on you. I can show you how to use it when I get there."

"Oh that's wonderful, isn't it Y? That sounds perfect."

"Yeah, we sure could have used something like that before."

"Happy to help. 10:30 then." I left. I was letting my little head do the thinking for me. I knew that. But he was making a very strong argument. Or making it loudly at least. Z and Y might be freaks, but I had a weakness for just their kind of freaky.

I showed up on time, ringing the bell at the door to their bungalow. Z let me in. I wore a simple white, button-up shirt and jeans. Z was already dressed for the occasion, with thigh high stockings and a garter belt, black of course, with matching bikini style panties and a bustier. Y had similar attire, all in white. From their smiles, they seemed delighted I was there.