Blue Plate Special 1

White male, 30, blonde, 5'8" 140 lbs. Seeking woman my age or older for JOI. I would be very grateful.

I became addicted to Internet porn when my marriage ended, but when I discovered JOI, an acronym for jerk off instructions, I knew that I had to have more than the free clips I'd been watching. I wasn't interested enough to pay for longer videos, but I figured that I might find the real thing on Craigslist. I added the part in the ad about being grateful as a sign that I was willing to pay. I received quite a few emails but they were from hardened prostitutes or meth addicts. I'd just about given up when I received this email:

"Hi! I had to Google JOI just to find out what it was and I was surprised but intrigued. My former husband had a thing for female domination. At first I just went along with his fantasies until I found that I actually enjoyed bossing him around. It's been a long time but I think together we could have some mutual fun. If you're still interested, be at this address this Saturday morning at ten."

I was excited but terrified. I expected to trade a few emails, some pictures and eventually a phone number. I wasn't expecting her bold response. She must be very trusting or this was some kind of scam. Nevertheless, I was standing the next Saturday morning on the porch of an average looking house in a typical suburban neighborhood. The door was answered by an attractive middle aged woman with incredible green eyes. She had dark red hair with pale freckles and even paler skin. She was wearing khaki shorts, a blouse and sandals.

"Oh hi!" she practically shouted, "You must be the guy from the Craigslist ad." I cast a furtive glace around to see if anyone was listening. "Please come in, she said, "Excuse the mess, it's been a busy week." She led me through the house (which didn't appear dirty at all) to a large living room in the back of the house.

Like many 50's suburban homes, the room was added on to the house when the family grew larger. It was very bright, with large picture windows and a sliding glass door to the backyard. She invited me to have a seat on the couch while she sat back in a reclining chair.

"So, you are interested in JOI, or jerkoff instructions?" There was a pause until I realized that she was expecting me to answer. I nodded my head like a bobble head doll.

"I watched some of the videos clips online, she said. "There were a number of different scenarios, but the result ended always with the man jerking off while being laughed at and humiliated. Is that what you were looking for in your ad?" I quietly answered in the affirmative.

"Wonderful, but there are some things we need to go over first. There will be no sex. You will not touch me nor I you. You will come over at this time every Saturday morning. We will come in here and you will lower your slacks and underpants to your shoes. You will get down on your knees in front of me and start jerking off. You will not stop until you have reached orgasm, however long that takes. It could be a minute or it could be hours, I really don't care. I can tell by your face that this is why you've come here, isn't it?

"There is one other thing I need to make clear. My husband would get so horny and into his fantasies while we played, but as soon as he achieved orgasm he wanted to return to his normal macho self."

From underneath her chair she produced a dark blue dinner plate and placed it on the floor at her feet.

"This is where you will deposit your semen. Don't get any on my new carpet. If you expect to be invited back for another visit, you will be required to lick it up until the plate is completely clean. Do you think you can do that?"

"I don't know, I answered truthfully, "I'm like your husband that way. I always chicken out but I'm willing to try for you."

"Aw, that's sweet of you to think of me. Now, let's get started, shall we?" Again there was a long pause until I realized that she wanted me to drop my pants, right then and there! With trembling fingers, I pulled down my pants and knelt before her. I heard for the first time the musical laugh that would soon haunt my dreams.

"Oh my goodness! My husband had a small one but yours makes his seem enormous! That's the tiniest dick I've ever seen in the flesh. It's smaller than a roll of quarters! Does it get any bigger?" I answered that it would surely grow when I started jerking off. "Everyone knows that you can't jerk off with a limp dick," she replied.

"Go on and play with it for me. Let's see if you can get it hard but first I want you to take the bottom of your shirt and bring it up to the neck. Now, pull it through and down. There, now I can watch you fiddle with yourself. I'd tell you how feminine you look but you aren't into that, are you? That would be so weird!" She laughed hysterically at her sarcasm.

She giggled while my fingers fondled my cock. "It looks like we won't need to shave those baby balls, do we? You have hardly any hair at all down there! Tickle those balls while you play with yourself. My, it doesn't seem to be working, does it? I'm going to check my email on my tablet. Keep playing with yourself until you're ready to perform for me. By the way, you will address me always as Mrs. O'Brien."

I've never in my life had any trouble getting an erection, but try as I may, it just wouldn't get hard. In fact, my little dick was going turtle on me until nothing showed but the tiny crown. I thought of the long legs, her soft breasts and firm bottom before me but that just made it worse.

She settled down in her chair with her tablet. "Start stroking, you pathetic little pervert. I don't care that it's still soft. I like to watch the head flap up and down. I said jerk it! I want to see how much you can cum with that little thing you call a penis. I see that you only need two fingers to jerk off. Even my husband used three, ha!

"Come on, I'm supposed to be giving you instructions, so let's see you work those hips. I said roll those buns, jackoff! Hold your dick still and fuck your hand with your pelvis. My god, you really are a failure; you can't even masturbate correctly! You need someone tell you how to beat your meat!

I was mortified, but I kept pulling on my dick, frightened by the change in her tone of voice. I realized from the tinny sound of the Ipad's little speaker that she was looking at porn sites.

"My god," she exclaimed, "I thought my husband was a freak, but he just wanted me to tie him to the bed and ride his cock. I can't believe people do this stuff. Some of it is funny, some are just disgusting. Look at these guys here, all they want to do is dress up like women and mince around in their hotel room. Some of them like to be spanked or placed over a sawhorse and whipped with a cane.

"Look at this guy." She turned the tablet so that I could see the video clip. "He not only let these big black studs fuck his wife, he licked her pussy clean when they finished! That's even more disgusting than this woman fucking her husband with a huge strapon dildo. I know my ass couldn't take that but I'll bet you could—if you were into that stuff.

"So many perverts doing the most perverted things, I never would have imagined there were so many sick people out there. Nevertheless, they all have one thing in common. Perverts and sickos that they are, they still aren't as pathetic as you. I don't mean to say that what you do is the sickest or the most repulsive, I mean that you are the most pathetic.

"That's right, loser, when it comes to being pathetic, you are lower than the fag who kneels in the men's room with his mouth open. Would you like to know why? Because these people are interacting! They see other people, touch each other, exchange body fluids. They have actual life experiences! They have a life!

"But now look at you, kneeling before an ordinary housewife and stroking your little dick, not allowed to touch anyone or anything but that tiny weenie, which by the way is now as stiff as a twig. What gave you a hardon? Was it because I was talking about all of those kinky people, or was it the realization that you are the most worthless, pathetic loser of them all? Answer me!

"I don't know what you want me to say, Mrs. O'Brien. I know that I'm a pathetic loser."

"Say it again and look me in the eye!"

"I'm a pathetic loser."

"A pathetic loser with a small dick, say it!"

"I'm a pathetic loser with a small dick."

"That's right, loser, no one wants to fuck you. No one wants to kiss you or even touch you. Even fat horny slobs go to a strip club and get a lapdance just to feel some body contact. Not you, you'd rather masturbate in front of a soccer mom. I'll bet even the strippers wouldn't want to sit on your lap!"

I was masturbating furiously, jerking my cock when I realized that she was recording me with her tablet. Damn, this new technology! I could feel myself getting close when she bent forward so that her face was inches from mine.

"I'll bet I can guess what goes through your mind after you've had your orgasm. You laugh at yourself for being so silly, for jerking off to all of those weirdo's and freaks online. But soon, while you are licking your plate clean, you will recall a time when you could end a jackoff session with that sort of denial. Those times ended when I told you that you are lower than all of those creeps. You are a worthless excuse for a man, the most pathetic creep of them all.

"But you've known this, deep in your subconscious, you know why you spend hours jerking off to these freaks. You may think after you've spent your seed that you are superior to these people when the truth is, you envy them!

"You wish that you had the balls to do some of the things these people enjoy and that's why you are here, because you would rather hide your true emotions. You believe this is all you deserve and nothing more. Well, something more has happened today. Tonight, you will go to sleep with the knowledge that someone else knows your dirty secrets."

I could take no more. With a feeble whimper, I ejaculated onto the dinner plate. The contrast of the milky white liquid against the royal blue pottery was almost pretty after I deposited three large puddles of semen onto the plate.

Moments later, while I licked my semen from the blue plate, I knew the difference between fantasy and reality. I heard her laughing and realized that never in my life had I felt so degraded and humiliated. She was right. Simply kneeling and jerking off in front of a woman is just sick. I was concerned about the video she recorded but I was even more aware that this was the first time I tasted semen. It tasted awful but I knew that I would do it again for Mrs. O'Brien.

I was standing in the foyer waiting to leave. We still hadn't discussed money and I was growing concerned until she handed me her cable bill. It was almost two hundred dollars.

"This is due today so you'll have to drive it over there. See you next week!" She smiled cheerfully and closed the door behind me. I wondered what else it would cost me to kneel at Mrs. O'Brien's feet again.