Philip poked his head around our dorm room door and asked, "Hey, are you girls practicing?"
"Just cleaning," I said. I held up my rag, then resumed polishing the bell of my sousaphone.
"Oh, okay," he said, and he was gone.
"He is so weird," said my roommate, Rachel. "We can barely get him to show up to practice with rest of the drummers, but he seems to stop by here every ten minutes. What's up with him?"
"I think he has a thing for watching us play our tubas," said Debbie. She had brought her prize possession, an enormous 6/4 size contrabass tuba, down to our room to use my polish.
"What?" I said.
"Come on, you haven't noticed how he's always staring at us?" Debbie said. "He tries to pretend he's not, but I always see him looking."
"Yeah, I saw," I said, "but I thought he was just staring at your superboobs." Debbie's nickname was Double D, and it wasn't because of her initials.
"Naw, he stares at you, too," Debbie said. "You just don't notice. Remember Linda, who was in our Stats 201 class? She used to go out with him, and she said he had this weird thing about making her blow stuff up."
"What, like with explosives?" Rachel asked. Tammy, who was usually quiet, giggled softly.
"No, airhead," Debbie said. "Like, balloons and beachballs and stuff. She said that's what got him off. He kept asking her if she'd take tuba lessons, and she said she didn't have time, so instead he'd ask her to blow stuff up and puff out her cheeks really big like Laura here does when she plays her tuba. He actually pointed her out once as an example. 'Blow like she does,' he told her."
"Why didn't you tell me this when it was happening?" I asked. "That's so pervy!"
"I dunno, I thought it was kind of funny. But that's what he did. He bought this giant beach ball and wanted her to blow it up while they did it."
"Did she so it?" Rachel asked.
"She said she tried, but it made her tired and dizzy. Then he tried to get her to blow up these really big balloons, and he'd kept saying 'Bigger, bigger, bigger,' but after a couple of them popped in her face, she decided she'd had enough of his weirdness and she dumped him."
I eyed the bag of balloons sitting on our shelf. Debbie and I used to blow up two or three balloons until they burst every day to keep our lungs in shape, but we had to stop when people complained about the noise. We'd still sometimes have blow-to-pop contests out on the field.
"That's ridiculous," Rachel said. "No one gets off on watching people blow tubas and balloons and stuff."
"He does," Debbie says.
"No way."
"I'll bet you ten bucks," Debbie said, her eyes sparkling mischievously.
"You're on."
"I'll be right back," Debbie said. She set her giant-size tuba on its bell and went outside. A few minutes later, she returned with Philip in tow. He came in, and immediately locked his eyes on the giant tuba in the middle of the room. I don't think he noticed Debbie locking the door.
"Hey, so, are you girls practicing or what? We have that--"
"Shut up, Philip. We want to ask you something, and we want a straight answer. Do girls blowing tubas turn you on?"
I've read about people suddenly turning red as a beet, but until that moment, I'd never actually seen it happen.
"I... that's... that's ridiculous! Who would... who..." He was stammering like a broken record.
"Let's find out. Rachel, grab his arms." Besides being a drummer, Rachel was a swimmer, and she was strong. She pulled Philip's arms behind him and held him in a lock. He was still bright red, but he didn't seem to be resisting.
"Laura, take off his pants," Debbie ordered. Tammy started to laugh.
"What?" I said. "This is your idea, you take off his pants!"
"You've got more practice, slut!" Debbie said with a big grin. Now Tammy was giggling uncontrollably.
"Fine," I said. I loosened Philip's belt and opened his fly, trying to avoid touching his thing (I only brushed it once). I pulled his pants to his ankles, then dropped his boxers, and for a moment fond myself face to face with Philip's pecker. Tammy saw this and literally fell over, grabbing her sides and screaming with laughter. I figured being alone in a room with four women would be enough to give Philip a hard-on, but I guess the embarrassment and humiliation were too much, because his cock hung limp.
"Now blow," Debbie said.