I don't know why everybody says Muslim chicks are so submissive, man. I guess they never met Fatouma Muhammad, this Somali chick I met at the Rideau Mall in downtown Ottawa three months ago. I've got a thing for tall, dark-skinned chicks with big butts and I usually go for what I want, regardless of the consequences. I don't go after married women or women with brats, that's my only thing. Anybody else is pretty much fair game, though. I saw this fine-looking Somali chick with a majorly big ass walking around with an Arab dude and as usual, I committed the cardinal sin of booty gawking. The Arab dude didn't like my eyeballing his woman, and he walked up to me trying to start some shit.
The thing about Arab guys is that they're all actually crazy, man. They're all loony tunes because of their culture and religion and they're used to being feared because of it. The only thing crazier and more dangerous than an Arab man is a Black man born and bred in the United States of America. We'll fuck you up no matter who you are or who you pray to. Don't believe me? Ask a White American male sometimes. After all, we gave them enough nightmares. Word up, son! I looked at the bozo and I told him that if he tried trash-talking to a big Black man like myself, he'd get to Heaven and get his seventy virgins sooner than he thought. I said that dead-pan, and the Arab dude started muttering in Arabic. I guess he wasn't used to Black guys talking to him like that. Sorry, Ahmed, I don't follow Islam. I'm a proud Christian. I gave him the middle finger and when he still talked trash without making a move, I walked away. The big bottomed Somali gal watched the entire interaction without saying a thing.
Later, I ran into the same Somali chick at the last place I expected. I was walking through the Algonquin College library looking for a book for my police foundations progress and that's when I saw her, walking around with an Arab chick. This time, she walked up to me. She clearly remembered me from the Rideau Mall incident, and the fact that the City of Ottawa isn't that big. That's life in northern Ontario for you, ladies and gentlemen. The Somali chick asked me if I was suicidal, walking up to an Arab guy and talking trash like that. I shrugged and told her I liked to live dangerously. I introduced myself as Theodore Guerrier, Teddy to my friends. The Somali chick introduced herself as Fatouma Muhammad, born in the town of Mogadishu in Somalia, and raised in metropolitan Toronto, province of Ontario. She wondered at my accent and I told her that I was born and raised in the City of Houston, in the beautiful State of Texas. A Black man who grew up around racist, gun-toting rednecks isn't afraid of much, especially Arab guys with their backwards mentality when it comes to getting along with other religions, gender relations and pretty much anything other than being a loudmouth intolerant asshole in the desert. Fuck them, man.