Hey y'all, I wrote this recently, and since I'm planning on becoming a writer, I thought I'd throw this up here and see what kind of critiques I can get from the community.
And of course, I hope you enjoy it!
*****
Friday was always the best day of the week, and this friday was especially good. I got a date! Apparently, she thought I was cute. And funny, interesting... That's what her friend told me anyways. I was putting on my clothes, thinking about it, when I saw the small orange circle hanging on the door. My heart skipped a beat. She met me on the day I didn't have to wear it... I slowly put it on the hem of my shirt, and headed slowly downstairs.
"Good morning," my brother said from behind. "Where you headed?"
"To a date," I said as I turned to face him, careful not to lie.
He smiled cunningly from the top of the stairs. "I thought it was something social... you had your tag hidden away. She'll see it, you know. Better to wear it with pride."
His green tag was displayed proudly on the sleeve of his t-shirt, and he made sure I saw it. "Yeah, I'll keep it in mind." I turned towards the kitchen.
"I could call Eric, and have him TELL you to put it somewhere more visible..."
I thought about Eric, and his vibrant blue tag... always wearing it on the top of everything he wore. He treated Chris like shit for his red tag, and more often than not sent me on errands for him.
"Fine." I unclipped the tag and put it higher up on my shirt. I immediately headed for the front door, and left without another word.
I tried not to look at my license plates as I walked to my car, aware of the orange marks there as well. I dreaded the moment of arrival half the way there, when I was honked at by a car full of drunk girls at a stop sign. They waved at me, and I rolled down my window.
"Show us!" They yelled at me.
"Fucking..." I muttered as I undid my belt. The driver of the car to my right chuckled as he tapped his yellow tag on his window. I undid my pants and pulled out my semi-hard dick. They laughed and waved their pinkies at me.
"Jerk it!" One of them yelled, as the light turned green. I ignored them and started moving. I pulled into the Starbucks parking lot, driving past blue and green reserved spots, before finally finding a decent parking spot. A young teenager with a green tag smirked as he walked by my car. I finished buckling my belt and left the car.
The walk to the Starbucks felt like forever. I dreaded the moment of entering, and the look on her face... Uh... her name... Ella, right, of course. I wouldn't want to have to make up a name.
I had barely opened the door when she came crashing through, obviously pissed. She said nothing and grabbed me by the hand, pulling me through the parking lot behind her. Reaching a nice silver sedan, she turned around suddenly and pulled me in for a long kiss.
"You got here just on time," She said, sighing. "it's good to see you," she said with a smile.
"Good to see you too. What happened?"
"Assholes with green pins wanted to fuck me. I said no, they said they'd call their blue friend over. I was about to get the fuck out when you got here."
I was astonished. I'd arrived at dates to find the girl getting spitroasted over the table by greens, spilt coffee on the floor. Did she not care about that? "You want to get out of here?"
She grinned. "I thought you'd never ask."
We talked as she drove down to the beach with our recently-purchased smoothies, laughing and joking. This girl was perfect. But... had she even noticed my tag? Wait... I didn't have my tag on!
"Uh... shit. I left my tag somewhere."
"Oh, really?" She glanced over. "Is that a problem?"
I hesitated. Blues didn't have to wear tags, greens had a lot of flexibility, yellows would get a small fine, oranges get heavy fines, and reds could get jail time.
"We're here," she said, pulling into the parking lot. This lot ONLY had spots for greens, blues and females. I would've had to park on the street a half-mile down.
We got out and started towards the beach. We walked down the stairs, past tall guys with blue or green tags flirting and talking with various people. I noticed Ella didn't even glance at any of the blues. Didn't want to get their attention, I guess.
There were plenty of oranges and yellows around. They do make up the majority of the male population...
I noticed a guy with a tiny dick doing jumping jacks in front of a small crowd of sunbathing girls. His swimsuit was nearby, torn and partially covered in sand. A small red circle was sewn into it. Ella stepped over it and glanced back at me, raising her eyebrows. I chuckled.
A girl gave me a look as we passed, and whipped out her smartphone. She aimed the camera at me, and looked at it. She shook her head with a smile and walked by. Fucking dickcheck apps.
We reached a lonely part of the beach, and Ella turned to me and pulled me towards her. "Want to swim?" She grinned.
"I don't have my swimsuit..."
"Aw, are you shy?" She said, touching my chin. "Wittle Kyal doesn't wanna show?"
I laughed. "Ah shut up."
