Freedom is in the eye of the beholder. To some, freedom is the ability to do what you want when you want it. That was the freedom I thought I wanted. I moved out when I wanted. I went to the college I wanted. I majored in journalism so I could write and do photography when and where I wanted. I even lived in a camper for a year, because I wanted to. It sounds great, right? The problem was I never felt free. I felt like I was still, in some way, doing what I was expected to do. I was buying into the idea that I needed to be independent by being a strong woman that provided for herself and stood on her own. The independent woman.
It was right before my 21st birthday, that my outlook changed. I was living in my camper in a beautiful campground in Tennessee. There was a lake, cabins if i wanted to go that route eventually, and I was not far from civilization. I had started working online as a virtual assistant to bring in an income and had even taken my graduate studies online. Everything was going great. I was also finding myself in chat rooms and meeting people, safely of course. That is when I met Ryan. We talked about everything from gaming to social issues and sexual viewpoints.
One night, while talking to Ryan, we got on the subject of current fetishes and how fetishes reflect society. I asked him how so, and he responded with something I had never thought about. He pointed out a chat room that he and I both were in. There were several areas within the chat site and all were based on some form of a fetish. He told me to look at the list. I did, and Ryan asked me if I noticed anything. He went on and said, "Look at the fetishes that are the most popular. Family, breeding, and submissive." I did notice that each room had at least 50 or more people in them. All were active. It was then that I noticed I had never thought about it.
We talked about it for the next hour. We talked about how freedom for a woman could be the simple choice of being a true woman. I pointed out that I had always felt that women had lost their feminine nature in the drive for feminism. We had forgotten what it felt like to wear a dress, be sexy, be desired. It was now a bad thing to be pampered. If you were a woman who did dress sexy for a man, got their attention, and were provided for by that man that you were a golddigger or some sort of rinser or sugar baby.
That is when Ryan asked me if i had ever been with a Daddy before. I thought he meant in a father daughter sort of way and I said no. He laughed and told me, "No, a Daddy. A Daddy dom, a daddy type sweetie."
I had to admit that I hadn't. In fact, the first thing that came to mind was this idea of the sleazy old man creeping on the girls and saying "daddy's home" as an intro to any conversation online. I told Ryan that and he said, "Well, I'm a Daddy dom. Have I ever creeped on you?"
I told him no. He responded a few minutes later with the invitation that would change my world forever. " We are both in Tennessee right now right? How about this? You meet with me in a public place. We have dinner. I tell you what my ideal lifestyle is. I tell you what my idea of freedom is. That's it. We go from there. If you never want to see me again, fine. It is all up to you."
I didn't know what to say at first. My first thought was all the horror stories of meeting people online. I mean there was a girl in Australia that had died at the end of her bad date. Part of me was screaming no, but what came out of my mouth was yes.
We set up a date and a time. When I got there, I started looking around for Ryan. He had told me what he looked like, and I had seen this picture of him in the chat room. I figured he was probably nothing like that, so I was setting myself up for anything and everything but what I had seen. A few minutes of standing in front of the bar was all it took. I heard a deep voice behind me. The kind of voice every girl dreams about when they are reading a romance novel.
"So, you did show up. Great first step."
I turned around and saw a 6'1 brunette standing behind me. He was dressed in a cream white henley, jeans, and combat style boots. He had gold rimmed glasses and hair that was short but had that little bit of bang. His smile was nice and inviting. He was athletic, but not overly so.
I smiled at him and stepped to him. I found myself in a hug a few seconds later that felt warm and perfect. I felt my heartbeat faster, my stomach tighten, and my first thought was wondering what his fingers would feel like inside of me.
