Stave I
The noise, the time of night, the attending drama, are so typical of her -- of both of them!
It takes a special kind of nerve to barge in on someone's dream, and at such an hour.
Dreams are escape. Dreams need time to play out. In mine, I hold him tightly, so tightly that neither the bracing wind against my face nor the icy cold of the starry night's all-consuming blackness diverts me from where I am goingâand with whom.
Deep sleep and dreamy-dream notwithstanding, there is no question about the identity of the woman whose steps just now beat against the still of the stairwell leading to my apartment door.
Unmistakably hers, their violence jolts me awake, rudely interrupting my carefully scripted fantasy, the one my mind treats me to whenever loneliness stalks me in the night's quiet hours.
Like so many dreams, mine repeats. In it, I am who I am, just a girl holding onto Luca's waist as his rumbling Harley streaks the streets of small-town-USA, the happy ending of a road trip to the annual riders' paradise, the grand assembly of the big bikes at Sturgis, South Dakota.
For a long moment, I resist giving in to the hostile clamor outside my door. "Put her out of your head," my brain insists! "She's a bad girl! Make her go away!"
Despite my determination, the fantasy fades, replaced by the unwelcome and menacing reality of her imminent arrival. I hope against hope, I am wrong, that the high-heeled commotion shattering the stairwell's otherwise hushed silence might portend the arrival of the devil himself, anyone except her.
Sitting up and listening more, I prepare for the worst. It is her! The ruckus is a dead giveaway.
Unlike ordinary humans, Veena Shea does not climb stairs, she lashes them, stabs them, each step pounding out a statement, echoing a message into the surrounding hollowness. Their declaration, "Beware!"
Of course, even if her parade up the risers were not afoot, the Harley's growl from out in the street would prompt me to jump from my bed, to pray as I do, "Please God, let it be him!"
Is it him? Is it the trademark rumble of Luca Jaxon, my once and future hottie?
I pass up the light switch for fear he might see me gawking down at him, and instead, running my fingers the length of the desk, I braille my way through the darkness to the window and happening upon a stray pencil, I slip its tip into the Venetian blind. Carefully parting the slats, I gaze down.
Sure enough, and despite the limited glim, I recognize his ruddy features, his too-long beard, his burly form. Luca, parked under the streetlight, leisurely smokes his smoke as though rattling half the neighborhood in the middle of the night, is normal behavior.
Coolly astride his bike, and in that way such men seat themselves, his casualness has the effect of transforming steel and chrome into a machine-driven appendage, complete with smoke, noiseâattitude. Glancing more, I watch as Luca noisily repositions his chopper, which he guns a final time before shutting down the scowling beast.
Getting hold of myself, and setting his rudeness aside, I know why Luca is here. I know his middle of the night ambush is meant to catch me unawares and at my worst! In this, he has succeeded.
Outdoors, New Yorkâthe place that never really sleepsâsuddenly turns silent. As it does, Luca looks straight up at my window, and even as I back away, I almost think he cuts me a half-smile, an unexpected pleasantry, given what is about to happen.
I steel myself and prepare to deal with the more immediate problem, the source of the sinister footsteps whose trademark clatter announces the approach of the most despised woman on my lengthy list of detested floozies.
"If he's brought her here," I whisper to myself, "neither the shitty hour nor my souring temper means a thing. I need to man-up. It is game time!"
Veena is a she-devil, and I am not in the mood for her fussy brand of arrogance. The rapidly unfolding scene pisses me off. Middle of the night? Dream violation? Veena? With him? I should strangle someoneâher!
A deep breath later, I calm, thinking, get ready for her grand entrance. Veena does not arrive; she lands! Like a private jet with 'High-Handedness Airlines' scrawled across its fuselage, she swoops in on the unsuspecting like a pouncing pterodactyl back in dinosaur days.
"Bitch," I grumble. Then, I remind myself that Veena does not oversee the gameâLuca does. Neither of us wants what will happen next, and I need to comply with his rules. If I refuse, he won't take me to Sturgis.
Veena is at the landing. Her slackening steps betray her fatigue. In a moment, she will barge in giving orders. Honestly. What's a girl supposed to do? Luca is Luca!
Stave II
Knock, knock, knockâKNOCK!
Veena's rings rap hard against the door. Reluctantly cracking it and with my lids half-closed for effect, I not only pretend surprise but even manage to snap a few sleepy words as I peek out. "Veena? Oh, you're loaded. How delightful. What...what time is it?"
The comment elicits a telling leer and the first of what will become a succession of unpleasant remarks.
"Are you fucking (hiccup) serious, Jitka?" she asks. "You know goddamned well what time it is! And for that matter, you know why I'm (hiccup), here."
"Oh? And why is that, exactly?" I probe, innocently.
Not waiting for an answer, I attempt to close the door, but Veena jams the toe of her leather boot against it.
Then, rolling her big green eyes, she barks at me. "Damn it, cunt! LET ME IN! Don't you get it? HE'S OUTSIDEâWAITING? It's seeping...I'm seeping! SO FUCK YOU! AND UNCHAIN THIS FUCKING DOOR!"
With her breath diffusing an all-too-familiar mix of alcohol, marijuana, and sperm, I purposely yawn, then pretend to glance over my shoulder at the wall clock. "It's...it's the middle of the night, Veena! Iâ"
"You what!" she demands, blinking excitedly.
Standing my ground, I blink right back at her, to which, she persists, snarling, "It's time, bitch! We've...that is, him and me...we've been fucking for hours! He came threeâno, five times! You're in, right? I mean, you'll play the game, right? I did not answer, and, again, she shouted, "Jitka, unchain this mother fucking door!"
"It's the middle of the night, Veena!" I calmly remind her. "So fuck you. You're not coming in!"
"And! And! And!" she replies, dismissively. "Get over it, Jitka! And, and, and, you'd better get IT over with! Think I...think I want to play the game? Think I want to-to-to play it with you? Think I'm some kind of slut?"
Defensively crossing my arms, and intending to emphasize both calm and annoyance, I lean my head to one sideâsomething I do whenever Veena parades that superior attitudeâafter which, I give her my standard bewildered look.