[Thanks to Willow for inspiration.]
"Mrs Rupnar, can you come out back for a second?
"I'm sorry, I just needed to say this so nobody else would overhear. I'm afraid your card has been declined. "Insufficient funds". Have you any other means of payment... cash, cheque?
"I see. Obviously, we have a problem here. You're a good customer of ours, and we wouldn't want to lose you, but we can't just ignore this.
"Janet! Janet - can you get me her bill?
"Thank you. Reflexology massage, pedicure, painting nails - that's £110.
"No, please don't cry, Mrs Rupnar, let me get you a tissue. Here...
"I wonder... since you are one of our most loyal customers...
"I could tell you about our Associate Scheme. You would, however, have to agree not to tell anybody about it - it is for, shall we say, our most exclusive clients.
"Thank you. Let me tell you all about it - would you like a seat? Janet! Janet - can you get Mrs Rupnar some tea?
"Okay. I first set up the Foot Parlour five years ago, when I moved here from Beaconsfield. For the first couple of years, everything went well; we made a good profit. But do you remember when the bank moved offices out of town? We had a very sharp drop in customers who could pay for our services.
"That's when I came up with this Associate Scheme. As well as providing services for the women of Saxwich, we also provide them with a little income by enabling them to, shall we say, 'service' some of the men...
"No, not like that at all! Please, no, I would never get into anything like that. Let me show you; would you like to come back into the store room?
"After you, Mrs Rupnar. As you can see, we have a stock of items which we sell over the Internet. These are sold to us by customers to pay off part of their bill. Over here we have stockings and tights; that shelf is socks; down there is shoes and boots.
"The sealed bags are to ensure that they preserve their, shall we say, 'atmosphere' in transit. That increases their value to our mail order clients.
"Here - as you'll see, there's a certificate of authenticity with each one - a photo of the seller's feet, a few details about them, and a description of what they've done in them.
"Please, Mrs Rupnar, I'm sure we are both women of the world - it's perfectly clear why people would buy these. Anyway, it's better they're bought from us rather than stolen from washing lines, don't you think...?
"That box down there? I don't think you'll want to look in there. That's "especially soiled" items, for some of our more, ummm, exclusive customers. They do sell for high prices, I must admit.
"These don't produce a lot of income - just a little pin money for the women who participate. Would you be interested in this? I must stress how discreet we are and how no customer would ever have your details. We don't have any other women from your, shall we say, 'background' on the Scheme, even though we do get requests; so I'm sure there'd be lots of demand.
"That's fine, Mrs Rupnar. There's a little paperwork to do, but I'm sure we can handle that. Shall we go upstairs? Janet! Janet - where's that tea?