CW: Alcohol, inebriation, upskirting, objectification, face-sitting, oral sex, pee play, panty pooping, scat play. Doug and Skylar get disgusting again, you just can't stop those two! So please skip this story if any of the above isn't your thing.
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It's been a good evening so far. Megacorp is too large for one singular Christmas party so different teams arrange their own gatherings. This year the departments have aligned and I'm at the same party as Skylar.
I love that filthy bitch.
No, seriously, Skylar Storm is a total degenerate. You wouldn't know to look at her, no, that petite, smiling, dark-haired bundle of gorgeousness hides her depravity well around the workplace. But she and I have shared a few adventures over the past year which, how should I put this... have needed a lot of mopping up. Oh, stop with the teasing, Doug Harrington. Just say it like it is! Ok then -- here goes: Skylar gets off on getting filthy; the more covered in muck she gets the harder she comes. I've never met anyone like her, someone who loves playing in poop. Someone who shares my own proclivities. She's wonderful. I'm still hoping she'll change her mind about dating me, but for now, we remain friends with benefits. Very dirty benefits. It's our messy secret.
Skylar and I have exchanged some banter but the party's too busy for us to have much alone time. Shame, as she's looking absolutely stunning this evening in a short party dress and black tights. And more than just being lovely to look at we get on like a house on fire and always have a laugh together.
The drinks have been flowing since lunchtime and everyone's got to that point they should probably stop, even though it's only 8 PM. No one wants to though, not when Megacorp is picking up the bar tab. To this end, I half-stumble towards the bar to get a refill when my attention is caught by a commotion in the opposite corner of the bar. That's Skylar's team's table. I wonder what's going on. Maybe I can help, not that I'm at all sober and I'll probably just get in the way, but like people watching a car crash I can't help but nose in. Oddly I can feel my pulse quicken as I approach.
When I get to the table my heart stops. It's Skylar. Fuck! Oh no! What's happened?! I hear someone say she collapsed when she tried to get up from the table, now she's slumped in the seat in a very unnatural looking way. She doesn't look at all well. Sure, we're all pissed but she's too sensible to lose control of herself like this. It's dangerous for anyone but especially a single woman. No, something is very wrong.
"Doug, I can't move her, she's too heavy" Frankie, a friendly guy we both know, reports with a serious urgency. "Can you get her up with me? Think we need to get her home."
I'm growing worried we might even need a doctor. My heart is racing and I don't feel pissed anymore; adrenaline has well and truly kicked in. Around us the party continues, most of our colleagues have clocked Skylar is being looked after and have gone back to their own festivities. Suits me.
Is she even alive? Please for love of Christ...
"Skylar, Skylar, it's Doug. Can you hear me? Can you open your eyes?" I check she's breathing and gently shake her shoulder.
Skylar's eyes half open for a moment.
"Mmmmm, Doughhhhhhh" she slurs.
Thank fuck for that, she's not dead. Maybe she is just pissed, or did someone spike her? You do hear about that. Fuck. An ambulance is going to laugh us out the door though, they don't pick up drunks. I need to get her home, safe.
"She's ok, sorta". I report to Frankie. "But yeah, she's done for tonight. Can you give me a hand to get her to a taxi?"
"Sure man, yeah." Frankie's a good guy.
Between the two of us we get one very groggy Skylar up from the table. She can't really stand, though she makes a vague attempt. I grab her coat and bag and, with our arms tightly around her shoulders, Frankie and I manage to get her out of the bar and onto the street. Few other people notice us despite the unusualness. It's a cold hard city sometimes.
"Ah, great, there's one!" I flag a passing cab down.
"Where are we sending her? Is she gonna be ok?"
"Thanks, Frankie, but I know where she lives. I'll take her back, make sure she's safe. Thanks for your help, mate, you've been great. Couldn't have done it without you."
Frankie looks a little relieved to discharge his pastoral duties after we unceremoniously dump Skylar into the back of the taxi. I sit next to her on the rear seat, trying to hold her at least sort of upright. Promising the driver I'll cover the extortionate soiling charge if she spills her guts, we set off through the darkened streets.
Skylar stirs. Half coming round she drapes herself across me, as best she can in the back of a vehicle. She drunkenly reaches up and hooks her arm around my neck. I guess she needs a bit more support, the taxi ride is rough. I'm just pleased she's moving. I hug her tightly, half to hold her, half out of relief she's not dead. She slowly nestles her head next to mine. I can hear her breathing close to my ear. I see the driver check us out in the rear-view then turn his attention away.
"Thanks for rescuing me, soldier." Skylar suddenly giggles into my ear.
Err, what?! You have
got
to be fucking kidding me. I look down at her. Skylar's beaming back at me, eyes wide with childish excitement, massive smile on her face. And, very much
not
passed out.
"The fuck? Wha... were... were you just fucking with me? You absolute four-funneled bitch! Why?!"
"Oh wo wo sorry Doug Doug" Skylar puts on a mock-apologetic pout as she uses her baby name for me. "But I had to get you alone, I couldn't get away from our table back there and you didn't seem to be making much progress coming my way either. But it worked! Clever Skylar. Yey! Now I get you ALL to myself. And we're already halfway back to mine, so you've got no choice. You are
mine
tonight, Doug Doug. You've got me all alone. Now, what are you gonna do to me?"
"What am I...?" I'm still a bit lost here and can't string a sentence together. A second ago I was worried she'd been spiked by some cunt in the bar, and now she's offering her body to me?
"Well, I couldn't just march over, grab you by your dick and lead you out of the bar, could I?" Skylar continues. "Everyone would have seen and, besides, I'm not gonna be part of the office gossip like that. But I knew you'd be there to save me, you're my soldier, so I just put on a little show, didn't I? Aren't I good? Where's my bleeding Oscar?" Skylar looks at me with big, innocent eyes.
"I give up. Yeah. You're bat shit crazy, Skylar. But I fucking love it, ha, that was genius. I gotta say. You had us all going. I'm, uh, pleased you're ok though. You properly had me there. I've never seen you lose control like that. I was really worried."