It was a Thursday, so not quite as busy as a Friday would be, but still plenty busy since it was the 5:17 train. Everybody wanted to get out of town as soon as possible. I managed to bail out of the office a few minutes early, so I got a decent seat near the bar car. I was reading a paper that a previous rider had left in the seat, mostly just to kill time.
"Mind if I sit?" a feminine voice said.
I raised my eyes from the paper to gaze into one of the most beautiful faces I had ever seen.
"Not at all," I croaked, suavely. Idiot! "You certainly don't need my permission," I said regaining a modicum of composure.
"Sometimes people sit in cliques," she said. "I didn't want to assume that you weren't waiting for someone," she said, smoothing her gray, three-quarter-length, Toscana trim coat under her as she sat directly across from me.
"I was waiting for you," I said, uncharacteristically boldly. "And don't take this the wrong way, but you are one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen."
She stared at me for a moment before responding, probably trying to decide whether or not to change seats.
"I'm not sure how I could take that wrong," she answered. "It's sweet of you to say, but I think you just need to get out more."
"That's probably true," I said, smiling, "but I can count on one hand the number of women I've seen that are as jaw-droppingly beautiful as you are."
"I believe you're sincere," she said, "and so I will accept your compliment, even if I think it might be a bit over the top." She looked at me with that angelic face and said, "Thank you."
"Can I buy you a drink?" I asked, not being able to come up with any smooth lines on such short notice--and I desperately needed a drink.
"Sure. Cranberry vodka, please. Maybe two," she said with a look that somehow made me horny as hell--which wasn't actually a good thing since I had to get up to go get the drinks. It was an inopportune time to sprout wood. I hoped she wouldn't notice the obvious.
"You really do think I'm beautiful, don't you?" she asked, nodding toward the bulge in my pants.
She noticed, it realized. I probably turned three shades of red.
"I can't help it where you're concerned," I said, matter-of-factly. I figured I might as well own it.
"How does the saying go?" she said with a wry grin. "A hard man is good to find?"
I felt my face flush.
"Definitely two drinks for me," she said and patted my ass as I left.
When I returned, cocktails in hand, two other folks had sat in the adjacent seats, both women, thirtyish, who knew each other and were engaged in conversation. I handed her two cranberry vodkas and sat down with my gin and tonics. I got two also, so as not to be left behind.
"I'm Melissa Gilbert," she said, taking the drinks. "Obviously not THE Melissa Gilbert."
She was, of course, referring to the actress of "Little House on the Prairie" fame.
"Forgive my lack of manners," I said, sheepishly. "I'm Gil Lambert. I guess I really don't get out much after all. But for the record, you're much more strikingly beautiful than that actress."
"Gil, you're very good for my ego, but you should probably tone it down. I'd hate to see you get all worked up again."
"What do you do in the city?" I asked, desperate to change the subject.
"I'm a lawyer," she answered. "Real estate. Nothing glamorous."
"It's pretty glamorous compared to IT," I answered.
"There's nothing glamorous about real estate law, Gilbert. It makes accounting look exciting. But," she added, "it pays the bills."
"So, yeah, my parents thought it would be a hoot to name me after that actress," she continued, going back to our previous introduction. "I caught some flack for it here and there, but mostly, people just let it go." She was just so... real, I thought, but so incredibly beautiful. "You didn't correct me when I called you Gilbert. Is that your real name? Gilbert Lambert?"
"Yeah," I admitted. "That's why I go by Gil."
"The nickname rolls off the tongue a little easier," Melissa noted, "but I think you should embrace your full name. I think your name is a symbol of who you are. If you don't like your name, I think it's a reflection of the fact that maybe you don't like yourself."
"Are you a lawyer or a psychologist?" I asked.
"Double major," she answered, smiling sweetly.
"I'm in so much trouble," I said to myself, but loud enough for her to hear.
"You are," she agreed. "How do you feel about pasta? It's easy for my housekeeper to whip on on short notice."
"Um, I like pasta," I said not quite grasping what just happened.
"Yes, Gilbert, you're coming home with me for dinner. Unless you're married...?"
"I'm not married," I answered, but the situation was still too surreal to register in my brain. Did she just invite me to her home for dinner? If so, why? "You have a housekeeper?" I asked incredulously.
"I do," she answered. "I spend all day in the city. I don't have time to do the everyday things. Plus, my house is huge--perks of being in real estate. There's just no way I could keep it up on my own."
I thought about making some joke about keeping it up but didn't have the nerve. I watched as she unzipped her coat and pulled it open. The Toscana trim parted to reveal an expensive looking silk blouse and black skirt. There wasn't any cleavage or nipples in sight, much to my dismay. She pulled out her phone and sent a text to her housekeeper.