ADDICTION: SCHOOL DAZE
By uciboy
(2024)
(This is Part 3 to the Addiction: Pixie Dust series.)
PART 1
The 27 year old Chinese American woman sat on a park bench watching her 7 year old child play alone on the jungle gym. As she watched JoAnn swing like a monkey from bar to bar, she thought about what a difficult seven years it had been. Pregnant at 19 and a single mom by 20; her own mother dead from cancer two years after that. Victoria Gong was proud that she had still managed to graduate from the University of Richmond with a BA and a subsequent Masters at the University of Virginia, but what a struggle it had all been. She was grateful for the support of people like Auntie Jun, her mother's best friend, who sat next to her on the bench watching her Goddaughter climb to the top of the structure.
"She is growing up so fast," the older woman said after she lit a Virginia Slims 120.
Victoria silently nodded her head in agreement. She loved this child with all of her heart, but she also found it difficult to hide both her concerns and disappointment. JoAnn was in second grade and having serious trouble keeping up with the work. She was far behind her classmates in reading comprehension; her writing was like chicken scratch; and as for math skills, well, she had none. JoAnn was so shy and quiet around other children, that Victoria feared her daughter may be autistic, though her medical provider assured her that there was no indication of that. Victoria set high standards for herself. She knew it was unfair to do the same for her daughter, but she couldn't help herself. She wondered if being a Tiger Mom was some unique maternal gene that every Chinese mother has.
"She's so behind, Auntie," Victoria said softly.
"I know that you're worried, dear, but there's plenty of time for her to catch up," the kindly woman said. She then handed JoAnn the long cigarette, knowing that Victoria was - or at least used to be - a smoker.
Victoria looked down at the cigarette and felt a longing to put it between her lips. After her mother had been diagnosed with lung cancer, Victoria's interest in smoking declined sharply; yet she couldn't deny that part of her wanted to reembrace the habit, particularly as a way to reduce the daily stress she felt as a mother and new reporter for the Advocate.
There's no harm in taking a puff,
she rationalized to herself, as long as her daughter didn't see her do it.
Victoria noticed that JoAnn was facing the other direction while straddling the top of the jungle gym, so she gently took the VS-120 offered to her and brought it up to her lips for a slow puff. When she inhaled, she realized what she had been missing the last seven years as a former smoker. As every pleasure node her body received jolts of pure bliss from the nicotine now coursing through her bloodstream, Victoria felt as if the whole world had been lifted off of her shoulders. She felt free and young again.
She slowly exhaled through her nose as she closed her eyes, bringing the 120 up to her lips for another puff. That's when she heard the loud thump of something hitting the pavement. She opened her eyes and stared in shock at JoAnn's immobile body lying on the ground at the foot of the jungle gym, a trickle of blood oozing from her ears.
Eleven Years Later
Victoria sat at her kitchen table early Monday morning with a freshly lit 120 between her fingers and a steaming cup of coffee. She had hardly slept the night before, but she felt wide awake. She was ready to play her role in implementing the plans her daughter had laid out for her acolytes yesterday evening. The revolution was about to commence, with its ground zero being Robert E. Lee Academy.
So why the hell am I thinking about something that happened eleven years ago?
She knew the answer: because somehow it was a watershed moment in her daughter's life.
For a full week Victoria sat by her daughter's bedside while JoAnn was in a coma. No one knew whether she was even going to make it. "The concussion has caused a swelling of the brain," one surgeon had told her. "All we can do now is wait. Fortunately, children are very adaptive."
Eventually, of course, the seven year old did make it through, waking up as if from a long nap. But Victoria soon realized that the injury had somehow changed her daughter. She was no longer the shy, inward looking girl but rather one who was talkative and made friends easily. She was self-confident and empathetic, taking on leadership roles in clubs and student government. She attended the American Legion's Girls State, and won numerous awards and scholarships for her public service activities. And what was most phenomenal was the turn-around in her academic performance as she skyrocketed to the top of her class, ranking repeatedly in the top 1% of national test scores. There was an intellectual curiosity and maturity about JoAnn that was far beyond her age group.
Victoria had managed to nearly convince herself that her daughter was a
natural born
leader; yet deep down, she knew that JoAnn's brain injury had affected her in ways no medical professional could have foreseen. This mother didn't know what the future held for her daughter, but she instinctively felt it was going to be monumental.
"You okay, Mom?"
Victoria blinked her eyes, realizing that she had been lost in thought for several minutes. "Hmm?" she asked. She saw the long ash on her cigarette and tapped it over the ashtray.
"You seemed somewhere else just now," JoAnn said, tapping her own More cigarette over the same ashtray before bringing the filter to her lips.
Victoria smiled. "Just thinking about how fast you grew up, and what an incredible individual you've become."
JoAnn picked up a large satchel from the table and put its strap around her shoulder.
"Ready?" her mother asked.