The cabin was much as Grandpa had described it, on a peaceful lake, surrounded by woods, and with Adirondack furniture on the porch. What he didn't describe very well was the interior, which contained two well-worn cots with stained sheets, a wobbly table with four rusty folding chairs around it, and a kitchen that included, amongst other things, an old man making a salad.
"Hi, I'm Victor," the man said. "I'll be done making this salad in a jiffy."
"Good to meet you, Victor. I didn't know we'd have company."
"Well, if I know Richie, he is eager to get that young lady into one of the beds, so I won't be getting in the way. I just thought I'd make a salad in case any of you were hungry after the long drive."
"I'm Grandma," I told him. "This is Whitney, and you already know Grandpa."
"Yeah, Grandpa, Richie, whatever he's going by these days is fine. Back when we were icing guys together in the mob, Richie used to get all the ladies, especially the young ones."
"Is that right?" Whitney asked Grandpa. "Well, someone wasn't being honest when they said they were lonely, were they?"
"That was a long time ago, sweet cheeks. That was back before you were born."
"Aw, Grandpa, did you used to be a real hit with the ladies?" Whitney asked, smiling.
"I know my way around the courtyard, if that's what you mean. I was thinking about making some beef stroganoff, anyone interested?"
"Are these binoculars?" I asked as I picked up a pair of binoculars.
"That they are," said Victor.
"Can I look through them with my peepers?" I asked.
"Sure, our house is your house."
I used the binoculars to scan the area around the cabin for any sign of the two detectives. Having gotten zero confirmation that they were still watching us, I had to assume they had gotten lost or been detained until I had proof that they were still following us.
"I like your tube top," Victor told Whitney. "I bet it comes off real easy."
"Just one swift motion is all it takes," she said before making that required motion and tossing the tube top onto the kitchen counter. "It isn't like I have much in the way of boobs anyway."
"Oh my, sweetie, you need to cover up. There are gentlemen present," I told her after giving up on the binoculars.
"Aw, come on Grandma," Victor said. "Ain't no harm done. You should live a little."
"Why stop with just the top?" Grandpa asked her. "We're all alone up here, Whitney. Why don't you get naked for us?"
"What kind of girl do you think I am?" she asked indignantly.
"How about you, Grandma? Why don't you take some of those clothes off? It's a little hot for a dress like that and that thick, rubbery pantyhose you're wearing."
"These are my medical tights!" I yelled out hoarsely.
Grandpa went into a closet and came out wearing just boxer shorts, a Hawaiian shirt he didn't bother to button up, and leather sandals. It was almost the same outfit Victor was wearing, except the boxers were different, as well as the print on the Hawaiian shirt.
"Come on, Granny, take your knickers off," coached Victor.
Someone knocked on the door and Grandpa went to answer it. After he saw who it was, he came back into the cabin and told me, "It's for you."
It was a man dressed like a park ranger and he looked nervous.
"Can I help you, dear?" I asked him.
"Two people in a van asked me to come up here and tell you something."
"Tell me what, for heaven's sake?"
"They just said to tell you that they are watching."
"Watching? How horrifying!"
I slammed the door and went back into the cabin looking mortified.
"What's wrong, Grandma?" asked the topless Whitney.
"Some perverts are watching us and they sent a man to tell us about it."
"That's disgusting," said Whitney. "I hope they like the show. Fucking perverts."
"Why don't we give them their money's worth?" Victor suggested. "If a pair of pervs want to watch, let's give them something to watch."
Victor walked over to a big window at the front end of the cabin. He looked out through the window and then pulled down his boxers. The old gray mare probably wasn't what it used to be, but he wasn't afraid to shake it around.
"Come and get it, piggy!" he screeched while looking at Whitney.
Grandpa joined in, squealing and oinking he grabbed Whitney's ass and pushed her towards Victor. "Soooooo... EEEEEEEEEE! Soooooooooo... EEEEEEEEEE!"
"Okay, stop!" Whitney yelled out, starting to cry. "You guys are getting out of control."
"What did you think you were coming up here for, crochet and mountain air?" Grandpa laughed.
"No, look, I'm just saying this is getting out of hand," she said.
"Let's be gentlemen, fellas, this young lady has asked you to stop..."
"Cut the fucking act, dude. We know you're a fucking guy," Victor snapped at me. "Did you really think anyone was going to buy this whole 'Grandma' act?"
"I bought it," Grandpa told his friend, looking suddenly confused. "Are you sure Grandma is a guy?"
"Yes, you fucking idiot, Grandma is a guy. I could tell that the moment he walked in here."
"How about me?" Whitney asked.
"We'll get to you," Victor sneered. "Coming up here all dressed like that and you think we're going to have tea and cribbage? Fucking unbelievable."