A Pregnant Chat

The Transcript

JOHN

Hey, how's it going? I saw in your profile that you're into Eastbound & Down. I totally love that show!

CHELSEA

Hi! Yeah, isn't Eastbound amazing?! To answer your question, I'm doing pretty well tonight. How are you?

JOHN

Good, good. Having a few drinks and watching the reliably depressing news. What are you up to?

CHELSEA

Oh, you know, the usual. Watching The Shining and maybe getting flirted with a little bit...

JOHN

Maybe, maybe... And great entertainment choice once again!

CHELSEA

I think Jack Nicholson's hot in it. Is that weird? Am I supposed to be more scared than aroused?

JOHN

Ha ha. Own it! He's a very handsome man...even frozen solid.

CHELSEA

That way he can't get away from me! It looks like you've got some good taste yourself. Lizzo, huh? I'm pretty obsessed with her myself.

JOHN

SO GOOD!!! Nice and positive outlook in addition to great music, which is a rarity in my experience.

CHELSEA

I'm all for that positivity! So, tell me something that's not in your profile, information besides media preferences, which seem to take up the vast majority of both our profiles. Like...any pets?

JOHN

No, not currently. I love dogs but my landlord doesn't. How about you?

CHELSEA

I have a white & brown pitbull named Terry; he's my best friend. Bummer about your landlord.

JOHN

Yeah, I'll move one of these days and get a rescue, I think. Terry's an amazing dog name, good work.

CHELSEA

Thanks! He's a sweetheart. Any siblings? I'm a spoiled only child.

JOHN

Two brothers, both older. We're not super close. Spoiled, huh?

CHELSEA

Yeah, I'm a total brat. I was just about to start yelling at you in all caps for not complimenting me more.

JOHN

Ha ha, fair enough. Well...you're very pretty, if your profile pic is to be believed. Fantastic smile.

CHELSEA

Awww, thanks! You're not half bad looking yourself... So did you decide to message me because of my smile or because of a TV show?

JOHN

More the smile, though the humor thing is pretty crucial for me. So what made you decide to try online dating? Looking for anything in particular?

CHELSEA

Got out of a long-term relationship not too long ago, not really looking for anything serious yet. And I don't really feel comfortable going the bar route. Aaaaaaaannnnnddd...I guess maybe I should address a detail of my profile pic besides my smile...

JOHN

Only if you want to.

CHELSEA

It needs addressing, I think. Yes, I'm pregnant, as you can clearly see. The father's not around anymore. Douchebag fled as soon as I gave him the happy news. Left the state, I'm pretty sure. I want a baby, though, and I don't mind going it alone. So yeah, I come with some complications, which is why I'm not trying to use this site for a relationship and saddle someone with all my bullshit.

JOHN

I'm sorry, he sounds like a dumb asshole. I think you're really brave to go on that adventure solo.

CHELSEA

Thank you, I really appreciate that. In this spirit of honesty, I should probably also let you know that my pic is a touch out of date. I've got that cute little 5 month bump there, but I'm carrying a heavy load at 8 months now.

I haven't had all that much dating luck with the modest belly shot, so I didn't think I'd get a single response with a current photo. I apologize for the misrepresentation.

JOHN

I totally get it, not a problem whatsoever. If I messaged someone who was obviously pregnant, why on Earth would I object to that person being a little more pregnant?

CHELSEA

"A little more pregnant" doesn't quite do it. I'm fucking huge now, John.

JOHN

Have you considered that might actually be good news for me?

CHELSEA

Ohhhhhhhh!!! Going specifically for the knocked up girl, huh? You're into it?

JOHN

Yep, I'm into it. Wasn't necessarily planning on revealing it so soon, but what the hell: I have a pretty serious pregnancy fetish. Does that creep you out?

CHELSEA

Hey, I'm the preggo who put herself out there for casual fun. I'm in no position to cast judgment on someone who's interested in what I'm offering. Honestly, it's pretty great. A big relief. And I'm glad you messaged me now, because I was planning on deleting my account in two or three days, what with childbirth impending.

JOHN

Right, I got pretty lucky getting in just under the wire, huh?

CHELSEA

Yeah, I'm not gonna have the free time for even the most casual of fun in a couple weeks. Technically, I'll be full term in just over 2 weeks, so the baby could easily come as early as that.

And just to be totally clear, if you're in this for the pregnancy aspect and not so interested beyond that, it's completely fine. I put myself on this site in my condition, and it would be crazy for me to expect to find a replacement father for a baby that'll be born in a matter of days.

JOHN

Just for the record, I've been enjoying this conversation for a lot of reasons that aren't related to your pregnancy. I did seek you out for that, and I'm not really interested in immediate parenthood, but you have a lot of value beyond your bump. We may not be in a position to develop a tenable relationship, but I do think you're really cool. You've made a great impression in very little time.

CHELSEA

Thank you, John, you're very sweet. I'd love to meet up, but it seems we live about three hours from each other. You were willing to look many, many miles away for a pregnant girl, huh?

JOHN

Yup. Absolutely. A three hour drive is nothing, I'll come see you tomorrow if you want.

CHELSEA

The depths of your perversion are becoming clearer and clearer, John. A girl's gotta be safe on these sites, though, and I don't think I can commit to meeting you a day after we started chatting on here. Maybe we can meet before I have the baby, but I really can't guarantee when or anything.

JOHN

Completely understood and totally reasonable.

CHELSEA

If you wanted to have a little fun on here, though, I think I might be able to accommodate you...

JOHN

Like...cyber-sex? Sorry, there must be a better term for that by now, I feel like I haven't heard it used for at least 15 years.

CHELSEA

Ha ha, yeah, I haven't heard that phrase in forever. We definitely don't have to call it cyber-anything, we can just have whatever kind of fun we can together, if you're up for it.

JOHN

Yes please.

CHELSEA

Would you be comfortable giving me your cell number?

JOHN

Absolutely. 555-473-2850

CHELSEA

More current pic coming your way. Took it last night when I was feeling pretty good about myself...

JOHN

Holy shit, you really are huge!! Your bump is incredible! Seems just about perfectly round? No stretch marks at all?!

CHELSEA

Ha ha, I'm so glad you like it. That's some pre-pregnancy underwear right there, which is why you can't see my panties past my belly and you can totally see a bit of my left areola. That bra can no longer contain these milk-filled titties.

JOHN

Oh yeah, look at that! Have your nipples darkened a lot? That's a nice deep red.

CHELSEA

Yup, nipples are way darker now.

JOHN

Really incredible, Chelsea. You look phenomenal.

CHELSEA

Aww shucks, John! I'm blushing over here. Now...are you going to return the favor?

JOHN

My stomach and breasts aren't nearly as impressive as yours.

CHELSEA

Oh come on, you know what I'm talking about...

JOHN

Just a minute...

CHELSEA

Here it is...Whoa, nice dick! Circumcised, huh?

JOHN

Ha ha, yep. Just got that done a few months back.

CHELSEA

LOL. Seriously, though, it looks great. Thanks for putting in your hand for scale. How big are your hands? Unless they're abnormally tiny, you're packing serious inches.

JOHN

Seven, to be exact. Not to brag or anything.

CHELSEA

Nice, nice. You've seen the bump, I've seen the cock, we're both impressed: what do we do next?

JOHN

Hmmmm...Well, I'd love a shot of you naked, if you're up to it.

CHELSEA

I'll see what I can do...

JOHN

Just got it! Christ, that's nice! You've got a full-length mirror, huh? Handy for these selfies. Your tits are crazy, they look like two miniature perfect spheres in addition to that wonder of a bump you're rocking. And I love a modest bush, great pubic hair length! Do your tits resting on the bump take the weight off your back, like some kind of under-tit bra?

CHELSEA

Ha ha ha ha, yeah, actually, the bump kinda does support the tits when I'm topless. I have never thought of it as an "under-tit bra," but you can bet your ass I'll think of it that way from now on.

JOHN

Happy to help! I'm pretty hard over here, by the way. You getting wet at all?

CHELSEA

Ooooohhh, so glad I could arouse you! And yes, I am getting a bit wet myself. Shall we do something about our hardness and wetness?

JOHN

Yes, yes we should. Touch that wet pussy, nice and slow and gently to start. Tease yourself for me.

CHELSEA

Excellent. That feels really excellent. I think you should probably keep looking at that new pic and maybe stroke your cock just a bit...

JOHN

Oh, I've been stroking it for a couple minutes now. Slowly, don't worry. I'm dying to cum on that bump of yours, by the way.

CHELSEA

Think about putting one hand on my tight, smooth belly, the other hand stroking that cock right on top of the bump. I don't want you to miss your shot, after all.

JOHN

I can hardly imagine what a bump this perfect feels like, but I'll give it my best shot. I'm stroking a little harder now.

CHELSEA

And I've turned my attention to my clit. Well, one hand on the clit, one pinching a nipple. Getting close already. Though these breaks to type are slowing me down a bit...

JOHN

I'd prioritize the masturbation, take your time with the messages. That's been my policy thus far, anyway.

CHELSEA

Done and done. You getting close over there?

JOHN

Pretty close, yeah. One hand on my cock, the other moving between belly and boobs. Everything's feeling fantastic.

CHELSEA

...I came. It was super hot thinking about you rubbing on me, and your pic didn't hurt. Man, this is very nice.

JOHN

I just came, too! Right onto that taut belly skin. Spread it around for me?

CHELSEA

Rubbed it around, fully coated now. Nice and sticky.

JOHN

All right! This was super fun!

CHELSEA

I know!!! Great work!

JOHN

You too! So very sexy. I really, really hope we can meet up in person, maybe take these fantasies into the real world.

CHELSEA

We'll just have to see...