1.30 am and I'm lying in my bed alone.
Gemma is out with the girls and I'm at a loose end so am idly surfing PornHub with a semi. It's always fun to type random words into the search bar to see what it throws up. You'd be surprised at what's on there.
My lazy lob is alternating between quarter and half mast and my heart's not really in it tonight. I can't even be bothered to have a wank. Gemma stormed out earlier following a blazing argument and I'm hoping we can have some fun when we clear the air when she returns.
At 2am I hear the door open and the sound of several giggling ladies.
So much for making up, by the sound of that. I hear them go into the front room and decide to stick my head round the door, say hi, and see if they want anything. I slip my dressing gown on and nip into the lounge to see Gemma and two of her mates, Sal and Beth.
Sals's a good laugh but Beth and I really don't hit it off. She continually looks at me like I'm something nasty that she's stepped in.
"Hi Gem, hi girls. Good night?" They all looked at each other, and burst out laughing.
"Yeah, great thanks, and it's still young" said Gemma, mysteriously. They all giggled again.
"Can I get you anything from the kitchen?" I said, looking around at them all with a smile.
"Oh, great, open that bottle of Prosecco and grab three glasses, there's a love" said Gemma.
I went next door with my ears flapping to hear what they were saying.
"We should get him to do one of those naked butler things" said Sal. "That'd be a laugh".
"Yeah, it'd be good to know he's good for something" said Beth.
"Bitch" I muttered under my breath. I know, I thought, I'll play them at their own game. I quickly grabbed a clean pair of boxers from the laundry pile, put them on, whipped off my dressing gown and pulled on an apron. This'll be a laugh and might put me back in Gemma's good books if we all have a giggle together.
I went back in with a tray, glasses and a chilled bottle from the fridge.
"Woah, hey hey" said Sal, "things are looking up!"
I went to the coffee table in front of them and put the tray down.
"What are you doing?" Said Gem.