No one had come all day. The wind blew up from the platform, as the last trains in what passed for a rush hour came and went. The whole station was slow, owing to the holiday. The attendants in the booth up on the ground level had just left for the day, and as the trains clanged away the whole place became silent. Silence makes for a long day at the stand. This is the kind of day that you close, at least in the afternoon, if you have somewhere to be. Too bad I don't. And no one to talk to means stewing all day. You start thinking of all the bills you can't pay, the work that needs done and just how long has it been now since you've had a date. It's always too many, too much, and too long.
That's not even going into what happened yesterday. My ex-wife's divorce attorney, a creep named Lutschenbach, came by for a shoe shine. Can you imagine? I could feel him gloating the whole time. The divorce was almost a year ago, I don't know how he would have heard that I was laid off. He didn't say a word, just sat there thumbing through his newspaper. I knew what he was up to, though. I treated the asshole like any other customer. No way I'm going to let on that he's getting to me. I was proud of getting through it without losing my cool, but for how I felt at the end, you'd think I had blown the bastard.
Anyhow, a slow day isn't just a bunch of bad thoughts, it's also a lot of standing around for nothing. I was wondering just when I should pack it in, and I thought that I should give it a few more minutes. I decided to have a coke and then head out, so I started over toward the steps. The click of footsteps cut the silence. I turned and saw a woman that I had seen several times, in a long coat and knee high boots, a real piece, too old to be a kitten and too young to be a cougar. I had been working up the nerve to try to get her number, or at least a name. I always held back, though, thinking, 'maybe next time.' I was in no mood to try now, and I didn't take her for wanting a shoe shine, so I went on up and to get a coke. Too bad the machine ate my quarter.
When I came back down to the stand, lo and behold, there she is, sitting in the chair with her feet in the footrests.
"Aren't you the shoe shine boy?" she asked.
"I shine shoes," I said, "but it's been a few years since I was a boy."
"I need a shine," she smiled, "You'll do."
"Sure enough, then," I said, and sat down to go to work. 'Now's my chance to get a number,' I think, but I couldn't have picked a worst time than this. As I worry, I happen to see her out of the corner of my eye. Her coat had fallen open. I realized that, with her high heeled boots in the footrests, I might catch a glimpse of her front lawn, if her skirt was above the knee.
'Son of a bitch,' I thought to myself, 'this honey's honeypot is like two feet away, right?' But I can't just look at it. I was getting worked up, but I thought, 'Hell, what's the point? She's probably wearing old granny panties anyway. Or pantyhose. More than likely I won't get a glimpse of anything, and then she'll just run off without paying.'
"Have you been a shoe shine boy long?" she asks.
"I told you it's been awhile since I was a boy." I said.
"Oh yeah," she says, "what if I want a boy?"
I didn't know what to say.
"Are you a boy if I pay double?" she asks.
"You gotta be kiddin.'" I looked up at her, real quick so my gaze wouldn't get hung up between her shoes and her eyes. She smiled and said nothing. I went back to work. She started looking at a newspaper that someone had left the day before.
This was going to take forever. There was a hell of a lot more work to do than your usual pair of wingtips; these boots were huge. All the way up to the knee and the heels were twice as high as I might have guessed. The way she walked she could just as well have been wearing sneakers. On the up side, this would give me plenty of time to work her for a number. But, then, this also gave me plenty of time to prolong the agony of trying to figure out how to go about trying, only to chicken out.
"Whaddya do?" I ask.
"I'm an attorney."
"Is that so?"
"Indeed."
"Divorces?" I asked. God, wouldn't that be a turn off?
"No."
She didn't take her eyes off of the newspaper. At first this made me think I should back off, but then I started to wonder if I should try harder to get her attention.
"Are you one of those rock star defense attorneys?"
She shook her head no without looking up.
"A prosecutor, then?"
"I'm not a criminal lawyer."
She still didn't look up.
"Aren't all lawyers criminal?"
"Funny."
"Oh..." I felt an awkward tinge of discomfort. "What kind of lawyer are you then?"
"Tax law," she sighed, if you have to know.
"Just asking."
"Nothing sexy, I know." She had put an undue emphasis on that word sexy. Or did I imagine it? I thought she was sexy, even though she was starting to piss me off.
"Neither is shinin' shoes," I replied, "but like they say, it's a living."
"I don't know." she said, "Shining shoes seems like it might be kind of sexy."
"Is that so?" I laughed.
"Come on," she said, finally putting down the newspaper, "You're down on your knees, at someone's feet. They sit up here in this seat, kind of like a throne, but with their feet up in the air, almost up in stirrups, like in a clinic. You buff that polish with your rag, back and forth, over and over, and get all messy in the process. I bet you've peeped up a lot of skirts."
"Tell you the truth," I fixed my eyes on her boot, "not a lot of chicks go for a shoe shine."
"That's too bad," she said, "You're such a perfect gentleman."
"Why thank you."
"I bet even if a lady, drop dead gorgeous, in the shortest skirt you'd ever seen sat down for a shine you wouldn't peek would you?"
"You're drop dead gorgeous," I said, almost grinding my teeth, "and I haven't peeped up your skirt."
"I know," she laughed, "It's so cute. You haven't attempted to take any liberties at all."
"You said I was a gentleman."
"What would it take for you to give in and peek?"
I didn't know what to say. I buffed her boot harder and harder.
"What would it take?" she repeated, "You have to be wondering."
"Wondering what?"
"If I am wearing panties. What they look like if I am. What I look like down there if I'm not; how much you might be able to see without me seeing."
"You are one weird chick," I said, eyes still glued to her feet.
"That word again."
"A weird chick."
"I'm a chick, but you're not a boy?"
"TouchΓ©," I said, "or whatever."