A Cuckolds Confession

It started out as a fantasy.

I'd stumbled across a website that provided an in-depth and intriguing view on the psychology of cuckolding. Originally a 'cuckold' was a man with an unfaithful wife. It was a scornful epithet back in the day. But more recently, it's evolved into a fetish - a fetish often practiced by intellectuals and those looking for more than just the physical parts of being in a relationship. You see, in this fetish, the wife or girlfriend is encouraged by her partner to have sex with other men, sometimes while the partner watches.

I loved my girlfriend, Jennifer, but began fantasizing about her being pleasured by someone else while I watched. I mentally toyed with the idea, getting frissons of pleasurable sensations, thinking about such 'forbidden' behavior. Each time I thought of her submitting to another man's wishes, I felt a sickness in my stomach but also an undeniable twitching in my pants.

Not wanting to blatantly tell Jen about how this idea was seizing my mind, I turned it into a safe game. She liked using her vibrator dildo on herself, usually when I wasn't around. So I first broke the ice by bringing her dildo into our bed, and encouraging her to use it while I caressed her. Gradually, she got used to the idea, and relaxed into a state of comfort with using it in my presence.

Playfully, I started referring to the vibrator's flesh like rod as her 'lover's cock' while I described how it looked plunging in and out of her pussy. Naked in bed with her, I gave her some distance, and continued my narration of what her lover's cock was doing now. She told me she had some great orgasms that way, as I verbally painted the scenario of her and her lover and how beautiful she looked in my mind, being taken by this 'other man' of hers.

Several such 'sessions' clearly signaled my acceptance and enthusiasm, so Jen permitted me to sit, fully clothed, in a chair next to the bed, while, naked atop the bed covers, she had tryst after tryst, with her 'lover' plunging into and out of her cunt. Sometimes, I'd say something like, "I see your lover is lifting your legs by the ankles, and spreading you open wide for me to see." And Jen would dutifully assume that position as she fucked herself to orgasm. Or I might say, "Oh, your lover is flipping you face down, to take you from behind," and she'd turn over on the bed, raising her ass up into the air, reaching behind herself to slip the dildo in and out until she shuddered and collapsed onto the soft sheets.

After such scenarios were played out, I started joining in after her orgasm, sucking at her pussy, and telling her how delicious the mixture of her cum was, mixed with the semen from her lover. She'd giggle or laugh merrily, but would soon be panting as her hand would grab the back of my head and pull me in tight so that my lips and tongue could drive her into yet another climax.

Our love life was rich and fun, as we played these games. Then one night she and I were entertaining a buddy of mine, Tony. We had dinner together, chatting about various things. I'd had a hard day at work, so while the two of them offered to do the dishes, I settled into the recliner in our living room with a double Jack Daniels on the rocks, to rest. The combination of relaxing and the whiskey caused me to doze off.

After a while, something - some sound or air current or vibration - woke me up. I was alone in the living room, I saw, but I heard a sort of whispering coming from the kitchen, situated out of sight behind my chair. I couldn't make out the words, but something about the low whispering, perhaps the tone of the voices, conveyed a sensation of naughtiness.

My fuzzy brain was struggling with an attempt to analyze what I was hearing. Was Tony trying to chat up, make time, hit on - whatever the current terminology was - my girlfriend? I probably should have investigated immediately, but my curiosity took over, so I didn't move, still pretending to be asleep, although quite awake now.

The minutes seemed to creep by in the ensuing silence but then, did I hear a soft moan? Wait. Was that the sound of a zipper? I could swear I heard something else, the soft, sort of sucking sound you hear when a kiss ends. These strange sounds went on for quite some time, maybe 15 or 20 minutes. It's amazing what your mind can come up with when left to make assumptions, and fill in the pieces!

It was a good thing I was sitting still with my eyes closed - I'd closed them to focus on the sounds better - because with very hushed giggling, Jen and Tony tip-toed past the recliner to make their way into our bedroom.

Mind racing, I was flabbergasted. Tony had a reputation with the women, I knew, but I'd never believe he'd be so aggressive as to make a move on Jen right in my presence! And not just copping a feel, or sneaking a kiss - he was taking her into our bedroom!

I almost leaped to my feet, and charged after them when suddenly my brain blossomed with the thoughts, "Wait a minute! Stop! Think about how hot this is! Isn't this what you've wanted for some time?" Much as I wanted to get up out of the chair, these thoughts made me feel like I was tied to it.

Sitting there, I was plagued with the questions, "What's going on in there?" and "What are they doing now?" I couldn't hear much, but enough to know that my normally conservative girlfriend was not holding anything back. With each faint moan, or the creak of the bed, I knew Tony must be getting closer to his goal. Eventually, I forced my muscles to ease me quietly out of the chair. I silently sneaked my way over to the bedroom door. Amazingly, they'd left it about 6 inches ajar. "Was this an accident, or purposeful?" I asked myself.

I peered carefully into the gloom of the bedroom. In the faint light, I could see the two of them on the bed. Their bodies showed up in the darkness because they were both totally naked. He was on his back, and Jen was kneeling at a right angle to his thighs. Dim as it was, I could still clearly see her head bobbing up and down on his manhood. My eyebrows raised as I saw his cock was significantly bigger than my own. I'm not small, but I could see this was definitely above average size, even in the darkness. The articles I'd read about, with women desiring large cocks, and how size does matter, started to permeate my thoughts as I stood there, mesmerized by what was unfolding.

There was absolutely no mistaking of what was happening. I felt like I'd been punched in the gut, but I also knew that I had a raging hard on, seeing this! Frozen in the doorway, my body must have blocked the light from the living room, because Tony looked up and saw me standing there, peeking in. I felt like I'd been caught in the act, rather than the two of them.

Shockingly, Tony merely waved his hand over the top of Jen's head, motioning for me to come in. Perhaps moving like an automaton, I obeyed. I was standing next to the bed before Jen became aware that I was there. She startled for a moment, but then smiled, saying, "Looks like I'm making our fantasy a reality," as she went back to sucking his cock.

Tony said, "You can watch, if you want," as if granting me some wondrous boon.

It was such a simple statement, but drove me to a very complex decision. I realized that if I didn't object, I was giving tacit permission. And over and above that, if I stayed and watched, I'd be placed in a very submissive position, the beta male watching an alpha male. I stood silently, not moving. Silence was a 'yes'. Staying was a 'yes'. They continued, and I felt the first twinges of humiliation and submission in front of my woman.

I was conflicted. I was jealous, I admit. I expected to feel angry as well, but I didn't. In place of anger was confusion, because I wanted to see her being pleasured. Angst filled me, and I found the mental anguish... arousing.

As her lips were reverently sucking Tony's cock, Jen moaned around that column of flesh, and I realized he was now fingering her as she sucked him. In addition to her moaning while she sucked and stroked him, she made very deep eye contact with me, willing me to watch her do this. With her eyes, hands and mouth she was conveying the comparison between his cock and my own. Her hands seem to be showing me how big his cock was. Her eyes seemed to be saying, "How could I ever be expected to turn this down?"

After quite some time of this tableau, his hand grabbed her hip and pushed, maneuvering her over his lap. He was lining his cock up with her cunt. My heart was hammering in my throat. It was time for what I both wanted and dreaded with every fiber. When she was in position, he paused, holding her up by her hips. The pause seemed to last a long time. He seemed to know perfectly well what he was doing to her... to me... to us. The agony of anticipation was acute.

My facial expression froze as time froze. "What are you waiting for?" I wanted to scream. He truly was waiting, and I had no idea why.

Jen, poised over him, was biting her lip softly, fretting. Finally, she whispered, "Please." My heart and breath seemed to stall as that word hung in the air.

That's when he released her hips. And she had to own the fact that she was dropping herself down onto his cock, right before my eyes. She wasn't being forced in any way. She opened her pussy lips, and her cunt virtually swallowed his entire cock in a single movement. I was witnessing my own cuckolding. It was really happening! My heart began pounding so hard I thought it might jump out of my chest.

Jen was so wet, I could hear his cock displace and expel her natural lubricant onto his balls. She was impaled on his manhood, gasping with pleasure. After a few strokes he held her hips up again, with only the tip of his cock inside her. With a smile on his face he said, "Stop me when I'm at his depth," nodding to indicate me.

As she was lowered, she stopped him, stating, "There." Face flushed, she looked over at me, then back at him.

He paused briefly, then told her, "Feel the difference." With that, he pulled her down hard, planting himself as deeply in her as possible. Her eyes widened, her mouth formed into an 'O' shape. He told her, "Cum for me."

She began humping him, and I could tell her mind was reeling as she let her arousal build quickly. I was being mind fucked by both of them, and Tony was tickled to feel her working herself on his manhood as I watched. She didn't cum instantaneously, but it was one of the fastest orgasms she'd ever had.

After a few more minutes, he pulled her off and put her on all fours, whispering into her ear but loud enough for me to hear, "Put your head down and give me ownership of that cunt."

She offered no resistance as her face softly nestled into a pillow and her hips raised in offering. Jen was, of course, no virgin, but she'd not been a swinger either. We'd never had a threesome, or anything. But Tony was pulling the slut out of her, and she was letting him do it. He wasn't being mean-spirited or rude, just the Dominant that was his natural self. He smiled at me as his cock began its entry into her upraised sex.

My mind was jumbled, torn between the extremes of wanting to leave, and wanting to join in. I did neither. I knew she loved me, but she was overcome with desire for that big cock, crying out how wonderful it felt, encouraging him to fuck her harder. They fucked for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, he pulled her hair, forcing her face back. "Look at him. Look into his eyes, and let him see how much you want my cock," he demanded.

There was a pause before she took in a breath and stuttered, "I can't... I can't deny it. He's taken my pussy from you, and I want all of it while he makes you watch!"

Hearing this, he placed her in missionary position and pulled her legs wide apart, noting, "Look! Look how her pussy is gaping open, crying out to be filled with this cock of mine." He obligingly penetrated her, causing her to scream with delight. He fucked her lustily in that position until, with an animalistic moan, he unloaded his semen deep into her willing cunt. He pulled his cock out of her, some sticky strands of semen stretched between their intimate parts for a moment, as I almost hyperventilated. As I stood motionless, he dressed, and with a smile and a wink at me, left.

I climbed onto the bed next to her, and we cuddled and chatted, trying to process what had just happened. She undressed me, wanting the reassurance of my skin against hers. She stroked my body as she looked into my eyes and asked me, "How do you feel, now that it's no longer a fantasy?"

It was a difficult question to answer. It led to a discussion that lasted until sunrise. We wove a mutual answer, playing on the concepts that what happened was dirty, naughty, and submissive. But it was also fantastically erotic. Even the thought that his sperm were now swimming inside her turned me on, though I hesitated to voice this.

For her, it was mainly about the cock... the pleasure she got from it... the sex. She came for him several times, almost as a thank you for the pleasure he gave her. For me, it was mainly about mental sex, and it was great mental sex. Watching Jen submit to this other man. Having to submit in a way myself, by my silence which gave him permission. Feeling the humility as she allowed him to go deeper inside her than I was able.

We talked about other things, like how he'd now virtually claimed her pussy as his. And how we both felt about that concept. Even if he never came back again, just the thought that it might happen was arousing to us both. (It did happen twice more after that.) As we talked about it possibly happening again, we got so worked up that she gave me such a fantastic blow-job that my toes curled as I exploded in her mouth.

As I look back on this experience, one thing is certain. While this first experience with cuckolding all occurred in a matter of a couple of hours, the feelings, thoughts, and emotions have lasted me a life time. It's a mixture of feelings, some good, some embarrassing. It's difficult to put this into words, but the suffering caused by the mental anguish of your woman finding greater sexual pleasure with another man as you watch can actually create a feeling of submissive bliss. And it can leave you craving for more.