A Coming To Terms

I am a good, decent Christian woman in my late 40s, married for 25 years and only ever had sex with my husband. I stayed a virgin for him until we were wed. I am a regular churchgoer with a very conservative reputation. I guess most people would think of me as being a bit straight-laced and conventional, which I suppose I am in many ways. I do a lot of charitable work with my church and have a mighty fine reputation as a good, clean-living, fine and upstanding citizen.

But I have a guilty secret. You see, peeing has turned me on for as long as I can remember. Not so much the golden showers side of things, though I have fantasised about that, but more the notion of just peeing anywhere really naughty.

For a long time I was in total denial about these desires, unable to reconcile my faith with these sexual yearnings. I kind of thought of this as some sick perversion within me, an evil put inside my mind by the devil as a constant temptation away from the path of righteousness. I tried to avoid thinking about such things at all, until inevitably, sooner or later, I found myself giving in to guilty pleasures and masturbating whilst fantasising about peeing on the floor or something. Afterwards I always felt intense guilt and prayed to God for forgivenness.

Since the arrival of the internet, though, I have grown a lot less uptight. The anonymity of the net is ideal for allowing like-minded people to link up. And, via fetish forums which I first looked at out of curiosity more than anything but ultimately joined, I realised that there are a lot of others like me out there. Not only that, some of them are clearly decent and fine people, whose only "crime" is to enjoy being peed on or something. It got me thinking - would God condemn someone for this when in all other respects they were truly good people? And what harm are they doing? And when I thought about it, there is nothing in the Holy Bible itself that suggests that peeing for pleasure is in any way evil. So I kind of got came to understand that maybe it was ok with God.

And my interest in naughty peeing? Well, to be honest I really don't think God would approve of soiling other people's property - least not without their approval - but peeing on my own stuff should be ok.

So I suppose the internet, and urine fetish forums, helped me to come to terms with my inner urges and make my peace with God over them. But like I said, I am pretty straight-laced so all this was just fantasy. In reality, however much I fantasised about peeing on the carpet or whatever, I had never done anything naughtier than peeing in the shower whilst taking one. That was until just before I started writing this, that is.

You see, my kids have grown up and left home now, and my husband is away on church business for a couple of days, so I was home alone in my bedroom, reading my favourite erotic story sites, especially several new stories I found featuring girls peeing in naughty places. And I was getting hornier and hornier as my need for a pee grew ever stronger. And, for the first time ever, I seriously considered actually doing it - peeing somewhere that is just so totally wrong! And the thought that I might actually do it was itself seriously exciting me, as I felt a great sense of lustful anticipation. I stripped naked as I read to add to the sexiness, and to make it easier to touch myself.

Finally, as I read a story about a girl peeing against her bedroom wall, I could wait no longer and decided that I was going to do something like this too. So I got up off my bed, stood beside it facing the wall with my legs slightly apart and my hands on my hips, as I thrust my pelvis forward. And basically I just peed right there against my own bedroom wall, swaying my hips to cover as much of it as possible. My golden pee splashed loudly against the wallpaper, before flowing down the wall to form an ever growing puddle upon the carpet at it's base. And it sure was such a total thrill! A part of me couldn't believe that I was actually doing this. It was so utterly naughty and wrong, and yet so very nice. By the time I had finished, it really took very little to make myself climax too where I stood.

Then I admired my handiwork - large pee stains all over the wallpaper and puddles of pee on the carpet at the base of the wall. I revelled in the memory of what I had just done for a moment, astonished that I of all people had actually done such a thing. Then I got back to my laptop and started to type this letter. The pee-stained wallpaper and wet carpets are still there as I look at them right now.