What's the Most Outrageous Thing You

I like to talk to women online and off. One of my favorite questions to ask them is: what's the most outrageous thing you've ever done? Sometimes they try to play it off like they've never done anything out of the ordinary. Most of them enjoy recounting stories about crazy, outrageous things that they've done that none of their friends would believe because it was very much out of character for them. These anecdotes I'm writing about here came from women I've talked to.

The first one, a woman in her 30's I'll call "Janet," used to have a job that required her to be out of town a lot. She traveled with a man from her office all over the east coast. She said that she thought he was attracted to her, but since they werre both married, nothing was ever said or done about it.

One night in Baltimore, they were in a small bar having a few drinks. He was talking about how miserable things were at home in his loveless marriage. She was telling him about her husband who had been hopelessly impotent for more than three years and still refused to seek medical help.

Next thing she knew, they were making out like crazy in their booth. It got so hot and heavy that the bouncer made them leave. They calmed down (somewhat) and were a little embarrassed by what they'd done and walked to their car which was parked in the lot behind the bar.

Once they got to the car, they got into it again. Before she could blink, she was up against the wall and he had his pants around his ankles and they were going at it like a couple of wild goats. Some of the other patrons of the bar were out there and they were cheering and whistling as they went at it. She said they didn't stop until they were done. They put themselves back together and went back to the motel and went at it all weekend long.

When they went back to work on monday, they requested to work in separate areas so that it wouldn't happen again. Even though she said she regretted what happened, she said the relief after more than three years of frustration was mind-blowing.

Another woman, "Wendy," told me about how she and her husband ("Frank") were very close friends with another couple ("Carol" and "Dan"). They decided to take a vacation together and went out to the beach. Once they got there, they realized that it was a nude beach. Someone, she didn't remember who, suggested that they go nude, too. With very little hesitation, they all took off their suits.

At this point, Wendy pointed out that her husband Frank had a very small penis. For some reason, she had always assumed that Dan did, too. When they took off their suits, Carol seemed amused when she saw Frank. Wendy, however, was simply shocked to see just how big Dan was. His penis was huge. Once she saw it, she knew she had to have it. Once they were naked, she figured that she would get Dan's interest and entice him into wanting to have sex with her. She would deliberately spread her legs and flash him "accidentally" or brush her butt up against his crotch when they were around the picnic table. She said this had "an obvious effect" on him.

Eventually they had an opportunity to sneak off into the bushes and have a quickie. They also managed to sneak away a couple of times during the vacation, too. They continued to see each other once they had returned from vacation. Of course, their affair was discovered and the friendship was wrecked. She and Frank divorced and Carol and Dan wouldn't speak to her any more. She had remarried and things were okay, but she still fantasized a lot about her times with Dan.

A woman I'll call "Juanita" told me about a pool party at a friend's house. She and her husband went there and everyone was wearing swimsuits and drinking by the pool. One woman got drunk and took off her bikini and jumped in the pool. Juanita saw her and did likewise. The other woman's boyfriend and Juanita's husband "Jeff," freaked out and dragged them out of the pool. They sent the women into the house to get dressed so that they could leave.

The two women went into the bedroom to dry off and get dressed. The other woman offered to help Juanita dry off and one thing led to another and this other woman put her on the floor and started going down on her. Well, the boyfriend and the husband started wondering what was taking so long. When they looked in the door and saw them on the floor having oral sex, they freaked out and they left the place in a big hurry. She liked thinking about it, but now her husband keeps accusing her of being unfaithful, even if it was with another woman.

The next "outrageous behavior" I actually saw. I don't think she'd want to talk about it, though. I was at a big house party in California for a couple who was celebrating something (I never knew exactly what it was). I wangled an invite just to have something to do and I started regretting it about two minutes after I walked in the door. It had to be the most boring party I've ever been to. I walked around the house for a while and was getting ready to leave. I went into the den and there were a few people in there who were just as bored as I was. Some guy suggested we put on a movie to watch on their big screen TV. There was a guy going through their movie collection and he found an unlabeled movie in the back of the video cabinet. "Hey," he said. "Let's give this a whirl."

It turned out to be a homemade sex tape. It was also hilarious. The host and hostess had set up the camera and turned it on and just seemed to forget it was on. The sex was nothing to shout about, but the fact that they just bitched at each other constantly while they were doing it was just outrageously funny.

She griped about him leaving his socks on. He bitched about her mother coming to visit. She complained about money and he complained about how fast she spent it. She also griped about his inability to maintain an erection and how she had to stop over and over to help him get it back up.

The room had gradually filled up as people heard about what was happening and came to see for themselves. The room was SRO and everybody was just howling with laughter. Eventually, the hostess came down to see what was happening. When she looked up and saw herself on the big screen TV showing off her oral skills, she just lost her mind. She ran over and turned off the TV and made everyone leave the house. Even though I had nothing to do with the incident, other than watching, somehow I was the one blamed for the whole thing.

If you ever get the chance to ask a woman one question, make sure you ask her: "what's the most outrageous thing you've ever done?