Turning Over a New Leaf

"Okay, I think that will do it." Bob wiped his hands as he stepped back from the statue. "Not exactly my taste, but I guess it works well here." He stood back and looked at Tom the owner of the bar and restaurant where they had just placed a life sized statue of David in the women's rest room.

"Well, I doubt it would be anyone's taste to have this anywhere but here." Tom laughed. "What do you say we try it out? Give it a test run. You want to go out and check, or want me to? I'm good either way."

Bob headed for the door. "I'll go make sure the feed is on, count to 20 and give it a try." He left the bathroom and Tom.

The statue was an added attraction for the restaurant, aptly named "Joker's Wild". It was gaudy, Michelangelo's classic nude male statue with a strategically placed fig leaf covering the 'good parts'. It was part of the annual celebration of what Tom called his "high holy day", April 1st, or April Fool's Day. Every year he tried to come up with a stunt, contest or gimmick to spring on his patrons. David was his latest accomplice.

"...Nineteen, twenty. Okay, Bob, see if the sound is good, and how about the picture. We can add a light. Make sure the stalls aren't visible, I think the partition covers them, but let's make sure. Here we go." Tom lifted the leaf covering Davids' genitalia and as the leaf rose, an eight inch pink dildo rotated into place, giving the statue a nice erection. "Smooth, I could lift it with two fingers. Works like a charm. I'm heading out there."

Tom exited and headed out to the bar area where Bob watched the television that was on the closed circuit channel with a great view of David. "Great shot here. I'll go in and try it out if you want to watch. The bell went off as soon as you touched the leaf, and I switched the channel in time for a great view of you eyeing David. I couldn't tell, but was that a little bit of envy in your eye?" Bob switched back to the daytime soap opera that was on the other channel and chuckled at Tom who just shook his head.

"Right, envy. I wasn't the one who took all day yesterday to secure it to the simple hinge. If I didn't know any better, I might think you got a little friendly with the old fellow there." Tom could take it and dish it out. Everyone at the Joker appreciated that about their boss. Good sense of humor, he never would ask anyone to do something he wouldn't, or hadn't done. "Just a few minor touches to add, and then we are all set for tonight." Tom headed back into the rest room with a sign that said "Please, do not touch" to place by David, right by the leaf. Nothing encouraged people to do something like saying they shouldn't or couldn't do it. A sign for the entrance to the bathroom entry room that warned about surveillance cameras in use in the establishment finished off the plan.

-0-

That evening Tom gathered the staff around for a quick meeting before opening up for the evening. "As you all know, this is one of my favorite nights of the year. Those of you who have been with me in the past have seen some fun pranks, the little peep show tube that had black shoe polish on the end so it gave anyone who looked through it a black eye, the beer glasses with glue on the handle so you couldn't put it down and so on. Tonight's plan is pretty simple. There is a statue of David in the women's rest room with a fig leaf covering the goodies. When anyone touches the leaf, an alarm bell rings in the bar, and we can switch the TV over to observe the reaction as a surprise pops up between the statues' legs. And no, there is no truth to the rumor that Bob the handyman posed for the item."

The staff chuckled and clearly appreciated the plan. Jane, one of the regular wait staff raised her hand. "You said there is a camera in the rest room? That doesn't quite seem right. And did you pose for the model?"

Tom got the attention of the group. "Good question, Jane. I mean the first one. No, I didn't pose for anything. As for the camera in the bathroom, we put a partition up that covers the stall and sink area and there is a sign on the entry door. And we're just wanting to see the reaction. I hope you all get a chance to check it out. Now get ready for tonight, we should have our usual good crowd."

The group chatted some, did a few roll ups and checked the specials, but they were looking forward to a fun night.

-0-

Dinner started at 5, but it was a later crowd in the dining room. The bar usually had a separate group, but some diners did stop in, mainly afterwards for a nightcap. The restrooms were pretty quiet, and Dave the bartender (not to be confused with David the statue) couldn't wait for the first woman to try out the latest addition. Just to make sure all was in order, he switched channels on the television above the bar to the closed circuit that showed David standing guard in the ladies room. "All dressed up, ready to go." He said to himself and changed back to the sports channel.

"So, what do you folks have planned for tonight?" Bill asked Dave. Bill was one of the regulars who had come to appreciate the ingenious pranks on April first. "I still remember last year with the shoe polish on the end of those little peep show viewers. All the guys in my office had dark smudges for a couple days. And the sour peanuts. Made us all pucker up. So what's it gonna be tonight?"

Dave just smiled and replied. "Stay right where you are and you will see. Buy a couple of those ladies a drink and it might speed things up."

Bill cocked his head as if to say "What?" and then nodded. Dave sent two drinks over to the table where two women were sitting having a pre-dinner drink. They nodded their thanks to Bill and to Dave. A few moments later they got up from their seats and headed to the dining room. Bill watched them leave, enjoying how their skirts moved as they walked out.

-0-

A few more people had come into the bar area and the volume went up as people talked and joked. Dave kept the drinks flowing but kept an ear out for the sound of the alarm and tried to see if some unsuspecting woman headed for the bathroom. It didn't take long before the two women who had been drinking in the bar earlier came into view heading for the rest room. Dave grabbed the clicker and turned to Bill. "Okay, you wondered what was up for tonight? I think you are about to find out." Dave switched the channel on the television to the closed circuit. Bill had his eyes glued to the set and several other patrons moved closer, sensing something was about to happen.

Dave had anticipated perfectly. As the closed circuit camera came on, the two women could be seen entering the facility. They eyed David as they came in and paused. It was difficult to miss an eight foot statue of a naked man in the entrance. Add a "Do Not Touch" sign on a leaf covering his genitals and a couple of drinks, and you have the makings of a classic candid camera moment.

The two women looked at each other and seemed to whisper to each other, probably daring the other to touch it. "No, you touch it." Finally as the entire bar watched, they decided to each extend a hand and raise the leaf. Unbeknownst to them, as soon as they raised the leaf, a loud klaxon horn sounded in the bar. Not that anyone needed to know the alarm to know that the leaf had been raised. Everyone had turned to see what was going on when Dave had changed the channel.

It all seemed to happen at once, the horn sounding in the bar, the dildo flipping out, a cheer from the bar and a shriek from the two women as they dropped the leaf and stepped back. The horn wasn't particularly noticeable in the rest room, but the cheer and ensuing laughter had to have been heard because the two women looked at each other. By this point, the call of nature must have been particularly loud and the two continued into the stall area that was blocked from view.

A few moments later they reappeared and one whispered into her friends ear and the friend shook her hear and put her hands up. The crowd in the bar watched with an unusually quiet nature. The first woman looked at her friend who shook her head again. The first woman waved at her friend dismissively and turned back to David who had been patiently standing behind them. She lifted the leaf, and as the horn went off in the bar, she was seen leaning in and giving the pink shaft a kiss leaving an unmistakable smudge of her lipstick. The bar erupted with a cheer and the two women were seen moving toward the rest room door to exit.

Dave switched the channel and a moment later the two women entered the bar, most likely to use it as their exit to the parking lot. As they came in, there was a hush, but then Bill took the lead, rising from his barstool and began clapping. Soon the whole bar was applauding two rather dismayed women who had been on their way to their car. "Stay and have a drink, ladies. On the house!" Bill shouted over the applause. "It's the least we can do!"

The first woman who had left the smudge on David's appendage approached Bill. "Why do I get the sense that something is going on? And why is it the least you can do? I think you need to buy us that drink and fill us in." Her voice was a mixture of sweetness and assertiveness, definitely giving the impression she was not to be messed with.

Bill proceeded to tell the two women about the April Fool tradition and with Daves' assistance inform them about the camera. That took the first round of drinks. By the next round the horn had sounded again and another unsuspecting woman was seen eying David's endowment. The routine continued throughout the remainder of the evening. Not every woman who entered the restroom that night lifted the leaf, but more than a few set off the horn. By the end of the night there was even a couple more smudges on the statue and more than a few selfies had been taken with David. Some leaf up, and some leaf down.

The first two women stayed a while and introduced themselves to Bill. "I'm Jenifer and this is Sally. We are new here, and had heard that 'The Joker' was a fun place to meet people. I guess they were right." Her tone had mellowed a little. But then the edge returned. "You have done the least you can with those first couple of drinks. How about a couple more. And you call us a ride home."

All Bill could manage to say in reply was "Absolutely." He knew when to simply agree with a woman.

-0-

There is no connection with anyone living or dead, this is purely a work of fiction. There have been several establishments that I have known who have had similar statues that were "boobytrapped" to alert others that a leaf had been lifted, (Svobodas in the south Chicago suburbs was one), but none had video. At least not to the best of anyone's knowledge. ;-)