Ben was always known for being full of shit. He was a small man with small man syndrome. The only thing about him that was big as far as I could tell was his ego. He couldn't tell of a single event without embellishing it to the point of ridiculousness. He was always the hero of the story, the champion, the tough guy or the ultimate lover or whatever other banal bullshit he could come up with. He could be funny, he certainly had an active imagination but most of the time he was just annoying.
Everyone knew it was all bullshit and occasionally someone would call him out on it but most of the time we would just laugh along. I don't think he had a clue that we were laughing at him and not with him. Over the years that I worked with him, I found that he was a lot like a chihuahua. Small, annoying, loud, constantly yapping and of no real value to me. The thing that astonished me was that, not only did he have a girlfriend but she was very attractive and quite intelligent. I just didn't get it. He was rude to her and belittled her in front of those who he considered friends. I just assumed that it was his insecurities making him act this way in public and that at home he was quite different. Otherwise, what the hell did she see in him?
I was married at the time, although not very happily. I was always faithful as I was raised in a very conservative family but that didn't stop me from fantasising about Ben's girlfriend Jennifer. If even a quarter of what he said about her was true then I was very turned on thinking about it. My wife was raised in a very conservative family too with the addition of strong Christian beliefs as well. This often led to tension between us, especially in the sex department. I had desires and wanted to try new things, I wanted to explore our sexuality, she most definitely did not. It wasn't that she didn't enjoy sex but as soon as I wandered off the straight and narrow path of "very vanilla" she would put a stop to it.
The weird thing is that although she enjoyed she seemed afraid of enjoying it and just letting go. Like enjoying sex was a sin and if it was for any purpose other than procreation then it was wrong and nasty. It eventually led to a complete lack of sex once our kids were born and that led to real animosity between us. Eventually, it reached a point where we couldn't go on together and we went our separate ways.
The next few years were a whirlwind of exploration for me. I met women and had several affairs but always seemed to come across the same old situation. I would say I wanted to explore and try new things and they were all keen until it came down to it and then they were all boundaries. I do understand that we all need boundaries but I had no idea at the time what mine were. Sure they were all more adventurous than my ex-wife but not by as much as I had hoped. Some were into oral sex, but only ever in one direction, as in I could go down on them but they wouldn't go down on me. Or vice versa. Most wouldn't even let you touch their asshole let alone slip a finger or anything else in and they definitely weren't up for doing any of those things to me. They never gave a blowjob without the expectation of something in return. I had read about women who enjoyed doing that just for fun but never met one. Not one of them was interested in exhibitionism or voyeurism of any kind and they never wanted to do anything outside.
I was beginning to think I was the freak that my ex-wife claimed I was and that what I wanted in a partner just didn't exist and that I would never meet the right woman. Was I chasing a unicorn? Don't get me wrong, sex wasn't the only thing I was looking for in a relationship; I wanted a fair, intelligent, equal and genuine relationship. Was it too much to ask that this fair, intelligent woman was also a little kinky?
Ultimately it all led to me going through the longest dry spell of my life since puberty hit, not to mention a deep depression that lasted for years.
By this time I was no longer working in the same place and I had heard that Ben and Jennifer were no longer together. It's not like I thought about her all the time, far from it, but when I did think of her it was always with a smile and the thought.
"I wonder what she's doing now?"
I assumed she was married to someone nicer and probably had her own little family now. Somehow, the thought of that made me feel both happy and sad. As though I had missed an opportunity that was never really there.
Conferences can be dull at the best of times and this one would be no different. It was one of those events, where the only people excited about being there were the organizers. Everyone else either felt obliged to support their workmates or was there purely because their employer sent them. For me, it was the latter, to the point where my boss straight up said.
"I would rather have my eye gouged out with a blunt stick than go to this bullshit, but they are really pushing for a representative to go. Therefore I am sending a representative...you."
I groaned in obvious displeasure which gained me nothing more than a chuckle from my boss. He knew exactly how much of a waste of time this would be. As the conference was being put on by a company that supplies us with paint, I would quite literally be watching paint dry.
I sighed as I resigned myself to the inevitable and accepted that I would be going no matter what.
"So where is it going to be?"
Living in a regional centre with several large towns around us I assumed it would be local. Maybe it would finish early and I could do something for myself for the rest of the day, I thought as a glimmer of hope emerged. One advantage of being divorced was that I didn't have to answer to anyone. Changes in plans weren't that big of a deal anymore.
"It's in Melbourne, I've got the details in an e-mail. I'll send them through to you."
Fuck! That meant a couple of hours driving there and then again to get home. I was not looking forward to this at all. Two hours driving in traffic followed by hours of boring presentation, followed by several hours drive home. I was either going to fall asleep at the wheel and die or I was going to be completely stuffed. I went back to my work with murder in my heart and I realised later that I had forgotten to ask when it was. I was thinking about asking for the day after the conference off because I knew I was going to be buggered from such a long day. Not long after that, the boss disappeared for the day and I didn't get to ask him for more details. I was fuming all afternoon until I could sit down at my computer for a while. I opened my e-mails and found the details my boss said he would send.
The first thing I noticed was that he had picked up on my displeasure. The rest I had to read a couple of times to be certain the details were correct.
"Just so you know, it's not as bad as it seems. The company sent the ticket through, which is on an attachment, and because we are more than 200km away from the conference they also sent a certificate for a motel at their expense for the night. Seeing as it is a Friday night and you are doing me a favour I decided to add another night for you so you can make a weekend of it."
