Author's note: This is an introduction to the fictional story of Yasmin, a modest Muslim-American wife with conservative and prudish sensibilities when it comes to intimacy. This series is a slow burn, and if you want the story to quickly get to descriptive sexual encounters, you may want to look elsewhere. This series will explore Yasmin's burgeoning sexuality, as she has her boundaries pushed repeatedly, and delve into how she reconciles the shame engendered by her traditional upbringing with the undeniable excitement she is afraid to embrace.
_________________________________________________
Chapter 1. Back to Work
Yasmin took a deep breath and tried to calm her nerves. She had been looking forward to returning to work, but now that the day was finally here, she couldn't shake the feeling of self-consciousness that had been weighing on her since she gave birth to her darling son. As she got dressed for work, standing in her bra and panties in front of her full-length mirror, Yasmin looked closely at her petite 5'2 frame and her caramel complexion still glowed from her pregnancy. She couldn't help but think about all the changes her body had gone through in the last few months.
Growing up as a modest Muslim woman in America enmeshed in the Pakistani community in Edison, New Jersey, Yasmin was used to dressing in a way that didn't draw attention to her body. She had always been self-conscious of her naturally large breasts and had found ways to minimize their appearance, even on her petite frame. But now, as she prepared to return to work, she couldn't help but worry that there would be no hiding their size, which had expanded from an already large 32D to 32F during pregnancy. "At least my baby will never go hungry," Yasmin sarcastically thought to herself.
Her concerns didn't stop there. Yasmin's hips had grown curvier during pregnancy and she had a bit of a mommy belly. She was worried that her new, more voluptuous body would attract unwanted attention from other men. She couldn't wear traditional modest Shalwar Kameez or Abayas to work in her modern office in Edison, and had to dress professionally in business attire. She silently cursed the fashion designers who made it so hard to find professional women's attire that wasn't tight or form-fitting. The thought of wearing pants, skirts, and blouses that hugged her body in all the wrong places made her feel even more self-conscious.
Yasmin struggled with her bra. No matter what she did, her brown areolas kept peeking over the top of the cups. "Another joy of pregnancy," Yasmin's sarcastic thoughts continued. Along with her growing breasts, Yasmin's nipples had also expanded and darkened - now a very deep brown over three inches - something she read happened to most women to help newborns find them and latch on for breastfeeding. Her husband raved about her new "dark chocolate peaks on her caramel mountains"
As Yasmin buttoned up her blouse, she felt a twinge of embarrassment when one of the buttons popped off. As she put on a replacement blouse, still tight but no in danger of losing buttons, she looked at a blazer and felt some relief that she could wear a suit jacket to somewhat cover her chest. It was a small comfort, but it helped to ease some of the anxiety she was feeling.
Despite her concerns, Yasmin knew that she needed to return to work. She was excited to get back to her job and continue making a difference in the world of healthcare consulting. And while she was nervous about how her body would be perceived by her colleagues, she was determined to find a way to feel confident and comfortable in her own skin once again.
As Yasmin made her way to the living room, she saw Ali sitting on the couch, holding their baby. Ali was also a Pakistani-American, in his mid-30s like Yasmin, born and raised in Edison and a long-standing member of the local Pakistani community. He had always been supportive of Yasmin's decisions and was proud of her for returning to work.
"Good morning, love," Ali said, smiling at her. "How are you feeling about going back to work today?"
Yasmin took a deep breath and replied, "I'm a little nervous, but I know I have to do this for our family and for myself. And I'm grateful that my company set up a new nursing room for me to pump in during work hours. I think I'm the first new mom that's worked there in a while."
Ali nodded and handed Yasmin their baby, saying, "I know you'll do great. And don't worry about anything here at home, I'll take care of everything."
Yasmin smiled, comforted by the support of her husband, but unaware that Ali had noticed how her clothing hugged her curves much closer than it used to. Ali always thought Yasmin was the most beautiful girl in the world, and the changes from pregnancy had only made her more attractive in his eyes. He knew that Yasmin had been feeling self-conscious about her curvier body, so he didn't mention just how tight the seat of her pants hugged her rear, clearly accentuating the contours of her cheeks and her panty line; or how the openings between the buttons on her stretching blouse billowed as she moved, allowing him to steal glimpses of her bra as they talked. Ali thought he saw a hint of her nipple at one point and a flicker of concern raced through his mind as he contemplated the possibility of someone at Yasmin's office catching the same glimpse and violating her sense of modesty. As he weighed the options of protecting Yasmin and adding to her already anxious state, Ali noticed a rush of familiar sensations in his groin, which only added to his confusion. Ali pushed the sensations aside and chose to remain silent, convincing himself that Yasmin's blazer would sufficiently preserve her modesty.
"So how do I look for a working mom? No drool or milk stains anywhere?" Yasmin smiled as she did a twirl for Ali. "Do you think this suit still fits me ok?"
"You look amazing and the suit is just fine! I'd definitely hire your company if you were on the team," Ali told Yasmin with a smirk. She couldn't help but smile and felt comforted by the fact that her traditional and modest husband didn't have any concerns with her outfit. Yasmin had noticed Ali looking but chalked it up to his normal behavior -- he was always complimenting her beauty and checking her out even when she was pregnant and felt as big as a whale! Yasmin smiled at Ali and kissed their baby's forehead, putting on her hijab and blazer before heading out the door.
As she walked to her car, Yasmin took a deep breath and relaxed a bit. She couldn't help but feel a little more confident knowing that Ali was supporting her every step of the way, and she knew that while the road ahead may not be easy, she was ready to face whatever challenges came her way.
__________________________
Yasmin arrived at her workplace, a medium-sized healthcare consulting company, feeling nervous and self-conscious. It was undeniably a male-dominated office, with women making up only about a third of the employees. Most of those were secretaries, and of the women that worked directly in business development like Yasmin, most were young and/or unmarried. Overall, Yasmin was part of a small handful of women that were married and had children, and most of those were much older than her with grown children. Having just had her first child and returning from her maternity leave, Yasmin knew she was going to have to work harder and put up with more bullshit than normal to reestablish herself in the company.
As Yasmin entered the building lobby, she began seeing many familiar faces and couldn't help but feel a wave of anxiety wash over her. Her body had changed so much during her pregnancy, and she was self-conscious about the attention it might draw. She took a deep breath and reminded herself that she was a professional and had a job to do.
As she walked towards the elevator, she noticed her boss Omar walking towards her. Omar was a tall, broad-shouldered man in his mid-40s and had been divorced for a few years. He was also a Pakistani American like Yasmin, and they were both part of the same Pakistani community in Edison, New Jersey.
Yasmin had mixed feelings about Omar. On the one hand, he had always been respectful towards her and had never made her feel uncomfortable or objectified her in any way. On the other hand, she had heard rumors that he was a ladies' man and had a reputation for flirting with women in the office. She had also noticed how he would sometimes check out other female employees when they walked past him.
Yasmin had always found Omar to be somewhat abrasive, but he had been kind to her. Given that they were both part of the same Pakistani community in Edison, he had always been respectful to her. She knew that he was divorced and had assumed that he was single. She had never really paid much attention to him beyond that, but as she saw him approaching her, she couldn't help but feel a bit uneasy.
"Welcome back, Yasmin," Omar said, smiling warmly. "How was your time off?"