I came home one day and much to my delight Sam was out by the pool working on his tan. His was totally nude. A shock wave blasted through me at this wonderful discovery. I stopped and watched him through the kitchen window. He was reading a book with great intensity. Sam was lying on his front and facing the window, so I could really only see down the length of his bare body. I could see his handsome face, his broad shoulders, his biceps, and past that I saw the side of his back down across the roundness of his firm butt and down his calves extending up his legs. His skin was pretty tan at this point and had that special glisten that seems to only be achieved through sun soaked sweat.
He was a god!
I started to feel like a perverted voyeur so I weighed my options. I figured I could go about my business and let him have his privacy. I could continue to watch him in wicked fascination. I could go into my room and finger myself into fantasy induced oblivion. Or I could strip naked and join him by the pool!
I seriously considered that last option to the point where I began to undo my blouse. Then I noticed the dishes in the sink. In it there was a cup, a plate, some silverware, and a breakfast bowl—so I decided to wash the dishes instead.
That way I wasn't a voyeur, I was a respectable woman keeping her dishes clean and if I happened to glance out the window every now and then I was simply enjoying a happy afternoon surprise.
It's amazing how we can lie to ourselves in such an honest fashion, isn't it?
So I washed those few dishes . . . for about the next 25 minutes! Finally, Sam put his book down and began to stand up. I actually gasped. I watched as his sweaty, strong, muscular yet thin, young body lifted itself away from the lounge chair. His compact chest came into view followed by his tight flat belly then the light poured into his nether regions and I watched in pure erotic bliss as his thick penis and balls peeled away from warm plastic chair.
Although that had all happened in a split second I managed to play it over and over in my mind in super slow motion. I marveled at the sight of his beautiful dick peeling away from the chair. He covered himself with the towel as soon as he stood up and he walked to the house.
I panicked! I threw four of the newly cleaned dishes back in the sink just so it all looked legitimate. Sam walked through the door and was taken aback by my presence.
"OH! I didn't hear you? Aren't you working until 6PM?" he asked.
"Not today I left early."
Sam looked out toward the pool like a criminal caught at a crime scene.
"Sorry." He said looking down.
"For what?"
"I didn't mean for you to see . . . that." He held the towel around him with a death grip. Then he looked at me, "Did you see it?"
"Of course I saw, I've seen it all already, though, so what's the big deal?"
"I don't know, you shouldn't have to come home to THAT without being ready. It doesn't seem right." He said.
"Sam, believe me, there's no better surprise than what I just saw out by the pool. I was actually considering joining you." I said with a more than shaky voice.
He refused to look at me, "Oh."
There was a long pause and suddenly the whole room was consumed with tension. I so wanted him to tell me I should have joined him, or to drop his towel and tell me 'let's go, there's still plenty of time', or something, but instead he stood there like a deer in headlights.
'No wonder he's still a virgin!' I thought.
Then he looked up at me and said, "I'm going to take a shower, then I'm going out with Kate and Tom, we should be back pretty late, okay?"
"Oh, okay." I said and he left. I was devastated. In that moment, I realized that I was not part of his crew. I was his stepmother and I may only be a fantasy to him. I wanted to have sex with him and I wanted to be part of his friends, but right then I realized that was not to be. I was old enough (barely) to be Sam's Mother! I was so sad in that moment I could have cried. I felt a tremendous emptiness inside. I didn't blame Sam, after all he is a teenager—I'm supposed to be the grownup! I shouldn't be constantly flirting with him and making him have all these thoughts and desires.
After Sam left I sat in front of the TV and ate cereal for dinner like a total loser. I was feeling really down and lonely.
When Sam returned I was still in front of the TV, I had watched a sad movie and cried until I felt better, then I drifted off to sleep. He came in as quiet as possible but I woke up anyway.
"Hi." I said.
"Sorry, didn't mean to wake you up."
"No, I was awake. How was your night?" I asked.
"Fine. Tom met this guy and he got his number so that's all we heard about all night." Sam said smiling.
"Oh really? Good for him."
'Well, there goes another one!' I thought in my super-depressed state.
"Yeah, he's pretty happy! And apparently this guy is a huge fan of our work together!" Sam said laughing and I tried to smile but I just couldn't manage a real one.
"Are you okay?" Sam asked with genuine concern.
"Sure. Just feeling a little down today, I guess." I said not very reassuringly.
Sam walked around to the back of the couch and wrapped his arms around me. I squeezed my hand around his forearm and he kissed my cheek—I think that's the first time he ever did that. Then he did the most precious thing; he simply stood there for a long time hugging me and he put his face against the top of my head in the most loving and caring way. I could feel his breath seeping out of his nose into my hair and I felt so loved, so needed, and so cared for that all the sorrow in me drained away as if this young handsome man was able to absorb my sadness and transfer it into the ether.
I have never loved him more in that moment.
He said nothing. He didn't have to. His hug said everything and I almost burst into tears of joy, as I have never felt so treasured!
He kissed me tenderly on the cheek again and walked away.
"Sam!" I said in desperation.
He turned and I saw his jeans were bulging in his crotch and I totally forgot what I was going to say.
"Thank you." It was all I could come up with.
"I love you, you know that right?" He said turning a little to hide his boner.
"I love you too." I said and he went into his room.
'What the hell was that?' I wondered.
Does he want me?
Does he LOVE, love me? Or just love me?
Does he not know what he wants because he's just a horny 19 year-old?
I walked into my room confused, very horny and full of mixed signals! I once again pushed my vibrator to the limit! I noticed it was too quiet in Sam's room and I assumed he was taking care of himself as well. I imagined him lying on his back gently rubbing his penis while imagining me lying on my back gently moving my vibrator in and out of myself . . .
