I wasn't going to write this but several asked, so why not?
Tom was a patient of mine at the HMO where I work as a Doctor. He had an obvious problem, Premature Ejaculation.
Easy enough for me to show him how to solve that, all he really needed was a partner who understood about men! It is surprising how few do, in my experience.
One thing led to another, next thing I know he asked for my phone number, and I gave it to him.
He was eager, too! My phone was ringing when I walked in the door from work. For some reason, I gave him my address, we made a date.
I do believe I have not been thinking very clearly lately. The loss of my husband put me in a state of mind that can best be described as out of control.
Inside me is a strong exhibitionistic tendency, that combined with a combination of needing to be in control (domination?) and yet I still respond best to a man who takes control (submissive?)and makes my head spin.
I denied all of that for years, pretending I was neither one, just "normal!" "Little girls don't!" Mom would tell me, yet she dated and someimes had a male friend over, that is how I ended up with a brother.
It all confused me growing up. I am 51 now, it still all confuses me sometimes. I am slowly becoming to realize that I can only be what I am, nothing more, nothing less. Everything else is pretend, no meaning or reality to it!
I was dressed when Tom showed up. I was telling myself "What am I doing?" as I answered the door.
Here was this nice looking young man, at least two decades my junior, and I was going on a date!
Plus he was a patient, insane stuff! To make matters worse, I had carefully applied my makeup, hair fixed as best as it will look(straight as a string). I slipped on soft beige dress that was cut to just above the knee on one side, the hem lay at an angle, the upper portion made a bra impossible. The cloth was held up by one strap over my right shoulder, it swept across my breasts and around the back, bare to the middle.
There was barely enough variation in the pattern to keep my nipples from being clearly visible, in the right light I knew they would be.
Tom looked me up and down with a grin, I was surprised, he actually had on a suit and tie!
I grabbed a shawl for a wrap against the evening chill, and off we went. The first wrong thing was his car, a pretty blue Chevelle, jacked up in the back with big tires and chrome wheels.
I slid in the passenger seat, he started the engine. It was so loud that conversation was impossible, by the time we got downtown to the restaurant my head was ringing. It seemed like everything inside the car shook all over the place, I was already wanting to go home!