The heels on my feet were starting to hurt, but my excitement for tonight could not be diminished from these stupid shoes. They were so sexy with my dress, my feet were going to have to shut up and deal with it.
Tonight was going to be the best day of my life, I didn't know that yet, but I had been excited for this concert since pre pandemic. Nothing would keep me from seeing this show; NOT my fear of crowds, NOT the plague of covid shutting down everything, NOTHING would keep me from this concert!
My Man looked so good, and with me on his arm, we were owning the night. First night out in a while for us, I got dolled up, got my hair done, and dressed to kill. I wanted a night like we had not had in years, since the shut down of the economy had also shut down the fun. Really our love life had shut down too, became less often and less intense as we were stuck at home. This was our night to really relish in each other's company.
We went to our seats, the crowd was already rowdy with drunk concert goers, the opening act hadn't even come out yet.
My Man turns to me, opens his hand, and smiles. A sparkly candy sits in his palm. Gold flakes speckle a blue pill.
"Tonight is going to be fun, I want you to enjoy it to the fullest" he says, offering me a chaser of his soda. I don't do drugs. I smoke pot, what do I need a pill for?
"You've been so anxious about tonight, now you are not going to be." his smile is so reassuring.
"You better take good care of me! I can't be just high alone in his crowd" I chuckled. Nervous as I have ever been, heart racing at all the worst case scenarios.
"You know I will" His smile and side hug were really all I needed. He would keep me safe as I party my ass off at this concert. He would let me have all the fun and drive us home after. So I took that leap. Swallowed that pill.
20 mins later, the warm up act is finishing up - some unknown band doing cover songs.
The crowd visibly only responded whole heartedly to songs they knew and ignored all original songs from this band we could barely hear. The stage lights, dancing their pattern as they had been, turned to me, shining brighter and brighter, as they circled the air above me. Once oppressive lights, with their harsh stares and harping presence in my life, had become warm, loving, and danced like trapeze artists in the sky.