XXIII: Blake and Liam
Blake
Blake had lied to Liam.
She
wasn't
fine.
Sure, she was alright to safely drive back home, but that didn't mean her mind hadn't wandered on the way back.
Liam's voice had made her feel better for a bit, but then the dark side of her mind had taken over.
Why did she need to talk to Liam to feel better? Why couldn't she handle it herself?
Those sorts of thoughts were easy enough to push away, but then they'd turned even darker.
Jamie used to be the one you would call when you were feeling down, or like you couldn't handle things by yourself. You would hear his voice, and everything would be better. He would touch you, and everything that was bothering you would melt away. Sometimes, just the way he would look at you could make things better for a time.
Those thoughts had been harder to push away, because there was some truth to them.
In the same way Blake had often sought refuge in her ex, she sought comfort in Liam. He just made everything better. But that wasn't because he was like Jamie.
Is it?
No. Of course, it isn't.
Jamie had taken advantage of her isolation. He'd been confident and attractive and had always seemed to know exactly what to say. He'd been sweet, but not in the same way as Liam.
Liam had been her friend first. He was a complete dork, and sometimes rambled or stumbled over his words, or seemed to have no clue what to say when she would tease him.
Blake had never had that with Jamie. Everything with them had been emotional and serious and sexual.
Things with Liam could be that way. But most of the time, they were just fun. Teasing him made her laugh. Nerding out with him made her feel all fuzzy inside.
Besides, Liam doesn't make everything better just because of who he is. That helps, but he makes everything better because he's the person I love.
Blake had thought she'd loved Jamie, but she'd been a highschooler. He'd been the first person she'd had sex with. Well, the first guy, at least. Her first relationship.
But not my first love.
She'd thought that for a while, but it hadn't taken much reflection to see how Jamie had been manipulating her. That wasn't love.
It was me being a desperate fucking loner.
Blake managed to keep tears from her eyes on the way home, otherwise she would have had to pull over, but it took a lot of energy.