Mellow Yellow

Chapter 25: The Nanny from Hell and the Great Whore of Saigon pay Melinda and Paul a visit

My advice to every white guy who's reading this: get yourself an Asian woman. Ditch the white bitch. Asian women are more intelligent and harder working than white women are. They seldom get angry and, best of all, never get angry without any apparent reason the way that white one does. An Asian woman will never blindside you the way a white one will. Best of all, they're a real treat in the sack. Don't just take my word for it. Try one out if you think I'm putting you on.

My wife, Melinda, is a perfect example. She brings home good money from work, she always has a great meal on the table, she's a great mother and she really responds to good loving in the bed. So what if she has this Vietnamese thing about how the woman takes care of the money in the family? I don't mind that one at all. She really treats me right and lets me buy whatever toys a red-blooded Canadian guy needs. Besides, being free of paying bills lets me concentrate on my own work.

Now, I know that some of you white boys out there are a little slow so I'll repeat this step by step for your benefit. First, get rid of that white woman because she isn't treating you the way you deserve. Second, find yourself an Asian woman, the ultimate women who roam the face of the earth looking for men. Third, and this is the most important one, so pay attention: treat that Asian woman right and, in return, she'll treat you so well you'll think you've died and gone to heaven.

Once I didn't treat Melinda well and I paid for it. When Melinda and I first got it on, I told her that she was the first Vietnamese woman I ever had. For Melinda, it was important that we discover the interracial thing together. Then she found out that I lied to her. Before we even met, I screwed an older Vietnamese woman, Nguyen Hièp. What made it worse was that Melinda didn't get along with Mrs. Nguyen, partly because Melinda is half Chinese, partly because Mrs. Nguyen's ex-career during the war was as a "bar hostess". Never lie to your Asian woman. That's another bit of advice I'll pass along. As a result of my little lie, there were a lot of tears, loss of face, getting cut off for a while, unpleasant things that I won't delve into in any great depth.

One of the little unpleasantries Melinda put me through was that she made me relate my entire sexual history. Fortunately for me, except for Mrs. Nguyen, the women were all white and every single one was a bitch, including Mrs. N. I didn't have to lie about any of that. On the other hand, when I asked Melinda about the guy she boinked in her student days back in Vietnam, she dropped the sexual history routine just like that. I don't know if it's the oriental mind or just a woman thing. Probably the latter. The rules are different for girls, even when the girl is Vietnamese.

Just to prove that I'm hooked on Asian women, I've been faithful to Melinda since we got married. OK, there was Vanessa, our former nanny, when Melinda was having our youngest. Vanessa doesn't really count because she's Asian as well, from the Philippines. When Melinda gets knocked up, she doesn't want sex after her third month. Vanessa came on to me while I was cut off and, well, you know how it is.

Vanessa dropped me as soon as Melinda came home with the baby, so I really was faithful to Melinda as far as I was concerned. You understand serial monogamy, don't you? I don't think Melinda realized I was fucking our nanny and I wasn't about to tell her. While I'm on the subject of Vanessa, she was just as good a lay as Melinda. They both had nice tight pussies and screamed in a high-pitched voice when they came. If anything, Vanessa confirmed that sex with Asian women was the best kind.

Given that sex with Asian women is the best, is it possible to get too much of a good thing? Under most circumstances, I would say it's impossible to get too much Asian pussy. I want to tell you a story of, on one occasion, I had too much Asian cunt in the house. It began about two years after PhilCan Nannies Inc. provided Fortunata as Vanessa's replacement.

Fortunata may have been a Filipina but she wasn't at all like Vanessa. Fortunata was middle-aged with a husband and three kids at home. She was all business, hardly ever talked and she never wanted to be alone in the same room as me. In fact, she didn't want to be in the same house as me, preferring to live in the nanny ghetto. That way, she could go to the 6 am Mass before work. Fortunata native language was Bikol so I couldn't use any nice Tagalog words I learned from Vanessa. For all that, she was good with the kids and I could forgive her a lot for that. OK, so maybe not all Asian women are begging for white dick but three out of four means great odds in my humble opinion.

Life was simple, quiet and uneventful after Vanessa went back to the Philippines. Or at least I thought things were cool until I noticed that Melinda was spending a lot of time on the computer. That wasn't the strange part. Melinda always spent a lot of time e-mailing or chatting with her friends. She was never shy about sharing her e-mail with me. Believe me, some of her friends got into some strange shit. They confided in Melinda and I discreetly rewrote everything and posted it on Literotica.

Whatever it was that was going on, Melinda stayed ominously silent behind the closed door to my office. Obviously, I was curious whether she was chatting up some other guy on the Net. Or worse, was she lining up to meet the guy? Even worse, what if the other guy was hung up on Asian women the way I am?

Being an average male with an average amount of trust, I set up my snooper program to monitor what Melinda was up to. By recording all the keystrokes, I managed to see that Melinda had set up a Webmail account and was sending e-mail to Vanessa. Melinda's e-mail looked innocent enough but a look at Vanessa's side of the story would put my fears to rest. I scored Melinda's password and hacked into her Webmail. I wasn't prepared for what I found.

From: {Vanessa Reyes} ssss@freemail.ph

To: {Tran Mei-Ling} ssss@yahoo.ca

Dear, dear Mei-Ling:

Oh, thank you so much for allowing me to call you by your given name. Mrs. Tran has always felt so cold and distant to me especially since that night we shared together. I am so delighted that we are drawing closer again. I feared that my boldness with you that evening cost me our friendship.

I have left the country house I shared with those three other women in Aurora. It was nice and pastoral, a good place to bring up Pablo. The problem was the "sisterhood. Really they were just after my body. They had no interest in helping me raise my son or in advancing themselves either. I told them I left because I found a job at last as a nurse in Mindanao. That's the truth but the real reason I left was because the society of gay women can be so cold and so suffocating at the same time. Here, I can be alone, pay attention to my dear son, discover myself and my own peculiar form of womanhood.

Pablo, my son, Paul's son, your stepson, is a delight to me, even though he is sometimes a devilish little toddler. He is the complete envy of all the other toddlers here in Mindanao because of his light skin. I wish very much to bring him to you so Auntie Mei-Ling and his father, Paul, can delight in him as much as I do. I thank you and Paul for giving me this gift of motherhood

.

But how can this be, my dear Mei-Ling asks? You can share my life and my child if you will sponsor me to move to Canada. Dear Mei-Ling, the situation in the Philippines is intolerable. Our government is corrupt and our glorious leader is an unelected stupid asshole. The MNLF is constantly threatening our city, even the hospital where I work. I am not safe and my precious child is not safe.

Mei-Ling, I love you even more than Paul does. You must let me come to you again. I long to feel you in my arms again, to feel your silky, golden skin against my body, my breasts against your breasts. I need your tongue running up and down my slit as my tongue travels the same route through your pussy. We need to be as close physically as we now are close in spirit. Can two women who have shared the same man not want to be as intimate with each other? I know you don't think of yourself as a lesbian like me but I know better. Leave behind your Vietnamese denial of love between two women. Any woman who yielded her body to me the way you did must love me the same way I do her.

Please, Mei-Ling. Help me. Take me from here to be by your side. Please pull some strings to get me a nursing job in Canada. Please sponsor me. I have nursing experience now and I almost have enough money saved. I know I have no right to ask anything more of you. When I was your nanny, you gave everything to me your home, your husband, even yourself.

With all my Love

Vanessa

I was shocked at first. Yet, the letter explained a lot of things. I wasn't surprised that I now had a kid in the Philippines. Vanessa was visibly pregnant when she left our employ. The e-mail also cleared up whether Melinda knew that Vanessa was screwing me and that it was me who got Vanessa pregnant. The shock of the e-mail was discovering that Vanessa was queer. That explained why Melinda and Vanessa were such "good friends" together.

Explanations only brought more questions. Was Vanessa faking orgasms when she screwed me? And then, turning around and screwing my wife showed a lot of gall. Was Vanessa A nanny with chutzpah or was she the Nanny from Hell. Was it Melinda who initiated the sex between the two of them? Did Melinda set up my affair as an excuse to have one of her own with our nanny? Not only was Melinda fooling around on me, she fooled around with the same woman.

I completely calmed down and backed out of Melinda's mailbox. Confronting Melinda with the e-mail would only make things worse. I wasn't prepared for a divorce and the humiliation of my wife leaving for another woman. I had to think this over and wait for Melinda to make a move. I didn't have to wait long. The shoe dropped a few nights later after a very, very satisfying fuck. I should have seen it coming because Melinda was really aggressive and on top that night. Normally, Asian women are passive but responsive in their lovemaking.

Post-fuck, Melinda lay on her side with her head propped up on her arm, absolutely proud of herself. I could see all the curves on her shapely golden body. The damp triangle between her legs shone with liquids of varying density, despite the low light in the bedroom. Melinda had me right where she wanted me and she didn't waste the opportunity.

"Paul, I want to discuss Vanessa with you. I think we should sponsor her and her son to immigrate to Canada. She has to get out of the Philippines and I want to help the poor woman. I think you should want to as well. It's the same thing as when you helped resettle Vietnamese refugees like me. I know that means our house will be bulging full for a while but it's something we should do. Look, it won't be all that bad. Vanessa can use the same room she had when she worked here and her son can sleep next door in the small bedroom in the basement. Fortunata would be more than happy to take care of Pablo while the two of them are staying here. Say we'll do this, please Paul?"

Of course I said yes. When an Asian woman has just fucked me nearly unconscious and displays the tools that did the job, she can ask whatever she wants and "Yes" will always be my answer.

The next day, reality began. Fortunata was more than a bit sour when we informed her that she might have to take care of another kid. She waved her contract in our faces pointing to the clause stipulating four children. Fortunata demanded a 20% raise, immediately. As the money manager in the house, Melinda readily agreed. Melinda also had difficulties with Immigration Canada. I didn't get involved but it was something about points and how it was almost impossible to sponsor a non-family member.

While Melinda was making arrangements with Immigration, I made my arrangements with the home security supplies store. I already had two outside cameras to keep check on the front and back doors and one in the nursery to watch over the youngest. I set the monitor up in my office so I could keep an eye on the kids and work at the same time. I convinced the ex-cop who ran the store that I needed another camera with infrared capabilities for the side of the house away from the street. Of course, that camera went in the heating duct in the spare bedroom, nowhere near the side of the house. If Vanessa tried anything on Melinda, I'd catch them in the act.

The night that Vanessa's flight landed was, conveniently for Melinda, Fortunata's night off. Melinda could hardly contain her delight with the situation.

"Somebody has to stay home and take care of the kids. I'm not paying for a nanny and a babysitter and sponsoring Vanessa all at the same time. Paul, don't look at me as if I'm a stingy old witch. I won't be long and you can go back and play on your computer after you've been civil and said hello to our guests. I'll help Vanessa settle in after her trip."

So, there I was, left behind to fret whether my wife was going to make a scene wet-kissing her lesbian lover at the airport. Would they pull off the road someplace to fool around a bit and then excuse being late by blaming it on a delayed flight? That "I'll help Vanessa settle in" bit sounded especially ominous. Did Melinda want to settle into Vanessa's pants her first night in our house?

All of these thoughts were rolling around my head when the front door rang. What had Melinda forgotten now? Life is full of surprises. It wasn't Melinda. It was Nguyen Hièp, the old Saigon hooker who first introduced me to the delights of yellow pussy. I hadn't seen Mrs. Nguyen for years and here she was, right on my doorstep.

She looked tired, her face was drawn and lacked makeup. Definitely the economic situation had worsened for the Nguyen family in the last 12 years. Her clothes looked as if they were bought at the dollar rack at the Goodwill Store. Actually, if she was still married to the same guy, they were probably stolen from the Goodwill. If I remember Nguyen Ðuc well, he was quite fond of five-fingered discounts. Nguyen Hièp looked exactly like a tiny Chinatown bag lady.

I was about to invite Mrs. Nguyen in when she invited herself. She plopped herself in my recliner, putting her small suitcase beside her. Mrs. Nguyen arranged herself daintily, pulling up her worn skirt and exposing enough yellow thigh to pique my interest. Then she crossed her legs towards me so I had a full inside view of the Vietnamese thigh. She was still a compulsive talker, even though her English was as bad as ever.

"You must to help me, Ông Paul. I no can stay Vancouver. Three Korean dude come take away Ðuc. Say he steal them money and they take him go find. Ðuc, him never come back. Now Korean say I have money and they want me give them. They watch apartment all time. I leave one night back door, take bus, come this city. Korean no find me if you let me stay you house. Hey, you still have Chinese woman?"

"Actually, bà Nguyen, she's only half Chinese. Her father was Vietnamese. Yes, we're still married and we have four children. You know that she doesn't like you very much. That may be a problem for you to stay here."

"I know already Chinese woman no like Nguyen Hièp. You call me Hièp, OK? You white people say 'Like Mother, like daughter.' So, she no like Vietnamese like all Chinese. Ông Paul, you like me? You let me stay? You owe me big time. Remember when Ðuc away go out of town, I make all time nice Vietnamese dinner and then we have good time fuck, no?

Of course I said yes, she could stay. Mrs. Nguyen was an Asian woman and she had me right where she wanted me. I remembered her pig tail soup and all the other goodies she always made for me. Damn, did her kitchen smell good. Actually, her pussy smelled even better than her kitchen. Mrs. Nguyen introduced me to the smell and taste of Asian pussy, the finest object a white boy can put on the tip of his tongue. I loved eating Mrs. Nguyen's pussy, even if she wasn't as tight as a young Vietnamese woman when I finally got around to the stick work.

Mrs. Nguyen knew how to parlay my sense of obligation and gratitude into a few free nights in the spare bedroom. Besides, maybe Mrs. Nguyen could prove useful in keeping Melinda in line. I made Nguyen Hièp some tea and found some leftovers for her to eat. I made enough tea so that, when Melinda finally arrived with Vanessa and Pablo, maybe we could all sit down and sort out the situation like civilized people.

The door bell rang again. This time, it was Melinda with Vanessa and, I assumed, Pablo. I didn't need to make any assumptions about Vanessa. That delicious, curvaceous brown body was the same as I remembered it. Well, I didn't remember Vanessa being so chesty. Was it her stylish clothes or did motherhood agree with her? In any other situation, I might have gotten a stiffy at the sight of an Asian beauty. Having to tell Melinda that my sordid past had just arrived in the present kept my dick and my voice soft.

Melinda was obviously annoyed that Mrs. Nguyen messed up her planning. In fact, the whole situation was tricky. Melinda hated Mrs. Nguyen, Vanessa was more interested in Melinda than me, and Mrs. Nguyen was contemptuous of Melinda because she wasn't pure Vietnamese. Being male, I tried to be strictly neutral in the middle of all this seething estrogen-fueled bitchery, but the truth was that I really didn't care for the thought of Vanessa screwing my wife.

Fortunately, there was one male who was strictly neutral. Pablo fit in with the kids like a brother. After all, he was a brother, or at least a half-brother. Pablo was fascinated by his first time in a Western house. Our kids were fascinated that Pablo was Eurasian like they were. Now they wouldn't stick out so much. The sight of kids having fun took the edge off the tension.

The adult tension was also attenuated because Asians need to save face. We chatted about the missing years in each others' lives and everyone was excessively polite. We even came to a solution as to how to accommodate everyone. We decided that Pablo would bunk in the nursery with Cadeo and Mrs. Nguyen would have the small spare bedroom. Vanessa would have the large spare bedroom in case Pablo wanted Mommy in the middle of the night. Nobody fought with anybody. That's how things work with Asian women. A problem that can't be solved today will be solved tomorrow.

I carried all the luggage downstairs and Melinda grumpily decided to forgo helping Vanessa "settle in." Probably she didn't want me helping her old nemesis to "settle in" the next bedroom. Melinda's bad mood continued after we put Pablo to bed in the nursery.

"How could you agree to let THAT woman stay under the same roof as me? She hates me and she'll be a bad influence on the children. She's just the Great Whore of Saigon. Is taht the example you want for Tanya and Lin? In Vancouver, she said that she associated with members of Asian gangs. Do you want Damien and Cadeo to take up that kind of life?"

"Um, Melinda, Saigon is called Ho Chi Minh City these days. Please Melinda, when I agreed to sponsor Vanessa, you made a big deal out of how she needed our help. Now Nguyen Hièp needs a tiny bit of help as well. I know you think she doesn't deserve it but could you ever sleep peacefully knowing that you turned her over to three Korean gangsters?"

"Don't you dare correct me about Saigon and don't call that woman Hièp around me. It's bà Nguyen or Mrs. Nguyen in my presence. Are you thinking of screwing her? Well, get that thought out of your mind or you'll regret it. I want her out of here as soon as you can find an apartment for her."