"I would like that beer now, if I may." Heading to the kitchen, he handed her the remote for the music. "One moment."
"Remotes are men's work," she tossed it on the bed, and through the kitchen door, they commenced to argue about music, what to play. "You have to be kidding me with that shit."
"I suppose you prefer..."
"Don't say it."
He came through the door. "What?" She pushed him down onto the bed and landed on him, astride. "One word about the Fat Lady singing, and I will eat a testicle for breakfast. Spread on toast."
"You think so?" He moved quick. He was behind her, caught her wrists above her head, knee between her legs. Hard again. She moved so that the head of his cock slipped into her.
He whispered, "Tell me something about you," into the back of her neck, still holding her hands above her. "Something that tells me a lot about you."
"Well, I almost got arrested a few days ago. I would've missed my trip."
"What?" Keeping her hands pinned above her, his other hand smacked her on the ass, not lightly. "Why did you get arrested?" He spanked her again, and she knew what was coming next. "Almost arrested." She shivered, wondering how it would be. "Turn your head. Your voice is muffled in the pillow."
"You could release me."
"No. You are best restrained." Thinking what she'd look like, if he'd had the foresight - or optimism - to bring hand cuffs on this trip. And toys. Well, another time. "Why did you get arrested?"
"Almost." He smacked her again. "I was singing in Winnipeg."
"They make opera in Winnipeg?"
"Sort of." He teased her with the tip of his dick, rubbed it against her. "Go on."
"The company gave us all rental cars, ok, fine. But the weather - my god. I don't know how people live there. It snowed every single day. And they didn't give me snow tires, it was awful. Every day, I drive from my hotel to rehearsal, through the snow and ice piling up. Timid, of course, because I don't drive in New York. On the last day, ice-crusted, 8 inches of snow, here's this guy tailgating me, right up on my ass..."
"Like this?" He leaned the head of his cock against her asshole. "Oh, my god. I can't finish this story, if you do that."
"I will wait a bit." But smacked her again. She was so close to coming, her face was hot, stroking herself while he did his thing. She cleared her throat, hoarse. "I pull into a gas station, and he's right behind me. He says something shitty about tourists driving. I'm a little what the fuck, because I was told all Canadians are polite.
"His wife is in the car cradling a toddler, looking pissed off, at him, if she's sane. But anyhow, I snap back at him. "You know what? You're right. I'm not from around here, and I don't drive all that well. So for sure, it's a great idea to crawl up my ass, get me all nervous and jumpy on these slick-ass roads, with your fucking wife, and your fucking baby, in the fucking car, you stupid, reckless fuck."
"You have an aggressive streak." He backed off a bit, cupped her cheeks in both hands, admiring their roundness. Spread her open to his gaze, "You definitely will require a firm hand."
Trying to concentrate on her story, "Now he starts with the fuck you bitch, screw you whore, and all that. I give him the finger two inches from his nose, and he grabs my arm. I already have my pepper spray in hand, and I'm all, "Dude. Get. Your. Mother. Fucking. Hands. Off. Me. I swear to God I will pepper spray in you into a coma, and kick your cracker ass into traffic."
"Oh, Clementine. Language." Drawing moisture from her pussy to her asshole, he petted her there, then spanked her hard, then stroked her, soothed her skin. And then spanked her again. And soothed her. And again, alternating, entertained by her squeals and sighs.
"He backs off, talking shit about unladylike bitches, I'm probably from New York City or some shithole. This makes me laugh, because yup, but I slip on the ice and my purse falls. And, for fuck's sake, my weed falls onto the ground in front of him."
"Ups."
"Right. Now there's trouble in River City, because apparently this is the one Canadian town where they still give a shit about weed."
"You said this was Winnipeg." At her sidelong glance, he smacked her ass again. "Another pop culture reference, I take it?"
"You're going to have to fuck me, if you want to do that." Another smack, "Agreed." He pushed into her, pulling her up to her knees, her back against his chest. Pushed her own hands out of his way, and fucked her with both his hands playing in her slit, careful to avoid her clit. "Continue."
Grinding into his hands, pushing back at the cock behind her: "I can't think, I'm going to come."
"No you're not. You come when I say you may." A hand slid up her belly to a breast, pinching hard, making her squeal. "Understood?"
"Yes...yes, Oh, please. I understand."
"See? You can be a good girl. Continue."
"So he hollers over to this - literal, I swear to god I never saw one before - Canadian Mounty. Hat and everything. Mounty comes over, pissed at both of us. He has things to do probably, none of which involve setting his lunch in the snow on the hood of his car. He's ready to just give me a summons, but then it turns out it matters more if you're foreign. Cracker asshole is all happy, because Mounty hauls me off to a dumpy little office-looking building where I guess they stash people before they do, or don't, decide to arrest them. I'm all, "FUCK THAT GUY, I GET TO PRESS CHARGES TOO, RIGHT?"
Jonas laughed. "You are entertaining, when you misbehave, I will concede that." He pulled out of her, and slid down the bed. She could feel his teeth on the inside of her thigh, his beard between her legs. "Continue, please."
"Jesus."
"My name is not Jesus, either."
"I'm not the only smartass in the room. The Mounty is irritated, all, "What happened? And don't editorialize." But obviously I'm going to editorialize: "That guy was a dick. It was a pissing contest, until I dropped my w... I mean when I dropped my bag onto that weed that was already on the ground ... and he had the Trump Card."
He returned to his post, pulling her by the ass back onto his cock. "A ... what is that? A pissin contest?"
"Pissing contest."
"Is this more pop culture?"
"No, it's... you know... a pissing contest." He stopped fucking. "Oh, don't stop. It's like...a stupid fight for no good reason, usually between men, but it could be women. It carries the image of two guys pissing and whoever's goes the furthest wins. Has the longest dick. Stupid. Like one could say, 'GW Bush is in a pissing contest with the whole world.' Do you have something for this in German?"
He dropped a kiss between her shoulder blades, but didn't move. "Um, possibly 'Schwanzvergleich'. But it's not a nice word." She swiveled her hips, fucking herself with his cock. "What does it mean, literally?"
"That is a very nice sight, Maus. Play with me with your pretty pussy. It means comparing length of one's dick."
"How do you use it in a sentence?"
"It is a noun."
"Well, 'pissing contest' is too... use Schwanzvergleich in a sentence."
"You don't use Schwanzvergleich because it is a word I won't teach you." He started moving again, fucking her hard, spanking her in rhythm to his speech, it was really starting to sting, but the pleasure of the fucking was blurring her vision. "Oh, come on. Don't make me find another charming German to teach me...things."
"Oh, yes? You will do that?"
Fucking her hard, spanking her harder, her skin reddening, but then slowing down his stroke, petting her bottom, soothing the sting, the alternating making her dizzy. "You like to suck cock al fresco, you like to be spanked, it's obvious that you enjoy to have your pretty ass filled, and I have the strong feeling that you are willing to be pinned down while that occurs. I believe you wish to be made to beg for that - for any of that."
He leaned in very close - she could feel his breath in her hair. "You want to be used for pleasure." He was keeping her right on the fine edge, so close to coming. She cleared her throat, hoarse, thinking of what he would do, what she would let him do, to her. What she would do if he told her to. "Yes."