Note: This chapter includes, among many other things, sex between two bisexual men. If that's not your thing, feel free to skip it.
I've always skewed towards an omniscient narrator, but in this series I'm experimenting with first-person narration. It creates interesting constraints and opportunities when you can only get inside of one character's head. Each chapter has a different narrator from the prior one. In this fourth chapter, the narrative voice switches from Paul back to Ryan. I hope you all enjoy it. It's not necessary to read all the chapters, in order or otherwise. Each story stands on its own. But if you enjoy any of them, you'll probably enjoy all of them. All characters are in their 20s or older.
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I might be the luckiest guy in the world. It's not easy to find a good partner. It's not easy to have a satisfying sex life. Both of those things are twice as hard if you're kinky. But over the last months, everything I'd ever wanted had come to me. Power of positive thinking? I don't know. Maybe. It's not my way to overthink these things. I just take it as it comes, and thank the stars for the woman in my life, and the amazing sex we seem to have almost constantly.
For anyone to understand how my girlfriend Jun and I got to this place, I will need to explain a little bit about myself. By "this place," I mean having a sexual relationship with another man. Let me be clear - it was not an accident of chance that Paul, a homely old hermit with an enormous cock, had entered our lives -- or our bodies -- Jun's and mine. I spent years working towards this.
When I was a teenager, most of my masturbatory fantasies had been pretty typical, and pretty tame. The mere thought of getting a blowjob, or even the mere sight of a naked girl, could drive me over the edge easily and quickly. But one day I found a stack of discarded porno mags next to a trash can on the street. (Side note: thank you from the bottom of my heart to whomever purged his porn collection on that fateful day!) One of the magazines was European. The stories, or whatever they were, were all in French. I couldn't make head or tail out of any of it. But here was the thing: the photo sets featured exclusively threesomes and groups -- always one woman with multiple men. Those photos completely blew my mind. I had never considered the possibility that sex could happen among more than two people at a time; or that a girl could service two, three, or even four men at once. Double penetration? It had never even entered my mind. But from that moment forward, and to this day, nearly 100% of my fantasy life has been dominated by such scenarios. I've spent every years since that fateful afternoon dumpster dive trying to realize those fantasies.
My fantasies did evolve somewhat over time. Sometimes I would imagine being one of two or three men plowing a pretty young hottie. Sometimes I would masturbate while imagining a gang-bang scene where the girl took ten or twenty men, one or two at a time, while the others watched and masturbated. I think, for me, part of the allure was the edginess of a woman dividing her attention between multiple men -- one woman and two cocks just seemed twice as exciting as one woman with one cock.
More than that, though, the exhibitionism of it titillated me to distraction. I had been raised to think of sex as, if not quite shameful, at least something completely private. So initially, the thought of a woman baring her naked body to a room full of men drove me wild. It seemed so brazen. So lurid. So captivating. Over time I also started to insert myself into those thoughts. The thought of being one of the watchers delighted me. The thought of being watched thrilled me. And the thought of being watched while fucking and getting fucked were equally and overwhelmingly exciting. I have no idea whether all voyeurs are also exhibitionists, but I guess I am.
My subsequent pursuit of this kind of porn -- MFM, group sex, gang bang -- led me down related pathways. It was only a matter of time before I discovered bisexual porn, and my fantasies then grew to include sucking dick -- especially a dick just withdrawn from a pussy. The thought of licking my lover's juices off another man's cock, wow! Even today that still that gets me hard.
I was inexperienced and nervous at that age, though. The arousal that bi-male porn elicited in me made me paranoid that I might be gay, and that terrified me. I realized over time, however, that every one of my fantasies that included men also revolved around pussy. And the sight of a naked girl continued to arouse me -- almost any naked girl. Pussy seemed magical and powerful, and it absolutely fascinated me. So, I was pretty sure I wasn't gay. Now, in my mid-twenties, I know that there's nothing wrong with being gay, and there was no reason for me to fear it. And regardless, I'm not gay. "Heteroflexible," "bi-curious," "open minded," even "bisexual" -- I'm comfortable with any of those labels.
Another consistent aspect of my fantasies was this: in my imagination, the girls in these scenes were never just random females. What really got me off was imagining that it was my girlfriend who was sharing her body with, and lusting for, all that other cock. But no matter how much dick my fantasy girl took, at the end of the day, she came home with me. Finding a girl, a woman I guess, one whom I could love, one who would enthusiastically fuck other men with me, one who would always be my primary partner and I hers -- finding that lover became my life's work.
In high school and college, I never had any problem finding girlfriends. I lost my virginity at sixteen -- I think that's fairly typical. But only rarely did I ever share my fantasies with those girls. Mostly I kept my thoughts to myself. I would fuck my girlfriends with my eyes pinched closed, and I would imagine them servicing a room full of dicks. When I did share my fantasies, it usually went badly. Most girls were not interested even in hearing about such debauchery, let alone engaging in it. The girls who did enjoy dirty talk about threesomes and groups always made clear that, for them, it was just a fantasy. It was something they could enjoy talking about while we screwed, but nothing they could ever imagine acting out in real life. That was disappointing at the time, but in retrospect, was not bad start.
When I was an undergrad, I had a brief relationship with a girl who claimed that she wanted to pursue my fantasies with me. I thought I had lucked out. At her instigation, we went to a bar and picked up a drunk horny frat boy to have a threesome with us. Don't get me wrong- the threesome was amazing. Spit-roasting that chick was as close to realizing my dreams as I had come. Sadly, the girl was neither loyal nor trustworthy, and as it turned out, she wasn't really all that interested in me. After seeing the frat boy behind my back, she broke up with me and dated him for a while. Then she cheated on him before dumping him for one of his frat brothers -- at least that was what I heard. Getting dumped by her, I had probably dodged a bullet.
I should mention that another challenge for me was my ethnicity. I am Taiwanese. White Americans, I learned young, think that most Asian men are weak, passive, and have small dicks. None of that is true in general, and none of it is true of me. But dating white women -- who constituted most of the women around me -- was fraught because of these stereotypes. If I gave voice to my fantasies, they'd think I wanted to be a cuckold. That wasn't accurate.
I never wanted a girlfriend who would sleep around behind my back. Nor did I want one who would fuck other men in front of me while humiliating or emasculating me. That was not my kink. I wanted a woman who would fuck other men *with* me. I wanted a girl who wanted to watch and to be watched. I wanted an intimate partner in crime.
I had started to think I would never find that dream girl. Then I met Jun. When I first encountered her, Jun was a nineteen-year-old sophomore. She was lithe and lean, with sexy hips and big sexy eyes. She was sassy and forward. I loved her energy. Unfortunately, she was a student in the Chemistry 101 class for which I was the Teaching Assistant. As such, dating her was absolutely prohibited. She knew that and I knew that.
Still, Jun flirted with me relentlessly. She would come to my office hours in short skirts and thin shirts, her nipples pointing at me like arrows. I swear on multiple occasions she wasn't wearing panties. I struggled to keep my eyes up where they belonged. I admit, the temptation was fierce. I'd be explaining electron valences to her, but in my mind I imagined throwing Jun on the desk, ripping her clothes off, and fucking her until she screamed.
After the chemistry course ended and we were finally able to start dating, she told me how impressed she had been that I never took her bait. I guess she thought I was playing hard to get. Truth is, I really had no choice. I was the first person in my family to attend graduate school. I was a good Asian son, my parents were proud of me, and my studies were going very well. There was no way in hell I would have put my PhD or my scholarships at risk. Still, if Jun took my restraint as a positive, far be it for me to disillusion her.
Our initial challenge was that we had no place to fuck. Jun still lived with her conservative Chinese parents in a small house. Despite my lurid imagination, my TA office wasn't really viable: glass door, no lock, way too public. My dorm room wasn't much better. I shared a tiny suite with three other chemistry grad students. People were always around. It wasn't very tidy. Nothing about it said "love nest." Having no better option, Jun and I still did have sex in the dorm a couple of times. The venue wasn't ideal, but the experiences were encouraging.