I had worked with Donna for about a year or so; she had been hired to fill in for me while I was out for six weeks after a car accident. They had put her at my work station, and upon my return, she had no other spot to use, so I had gotten stuck with her. At first I couldn't stand her, but as time went on, we got to be pretty good friends.
Donna was about 38; half Cherokee and one quarter Sioux, with straight, dark hair and rather large boobs. She was the mother of three teenaged children, and from the several down-blouses I had been lucky enough to catch over the past year, they were probably well breastfed as infants. She was also a very good-looking woman for any age, although she was about eleven years older than me. I suppose the age difference was what led to our friendship; I didn't consider her datable, yet we still talked shit to one another.
One thing that puzzled me about Donna, however, was the fact that as soon as she left the building at the end of the day, she would slip her shoes off and walk barefoot across the gravel parking lot to her car. I wondered if this was related to her ancestry, so I decided to ask her about it.
"Okay, Pocahontas," I teased her, "I have a question for you."
"How many times do I have to tell you my name is not Pocahontas?" Donna demanded with feigned annoyance. "It's 'She Who Must be Obeyed.' Besides, I don't even know where Pocahontas was from, but she wasn't Cherokee or Sioux. And don't you even ask me if I'm that butter woman from Land O' Lakes."
I snickered at Donna's response. Many new-hires were convinced we were married, due to our shared workspace, my continual 'yes Dears' and our mutual snide remarks. I was constantly making Indian-related jokes and remarks to her, and one day I had asked her to hold her arm out while we were all on our morning break.
Donna looked at me and frowned, figuring something was up, but stuck her arm out anyway. I promptly placed a penny on her arm.
"What the fuck are you doing?" Donna demanded.
"Oh," I replied cheerily, "when I was a kid, they used to teach us in school that Indians were copper-colored. I just wanted to see if it was true."
When Donna finally caught me, I was laughing so hard that I could barely walk. She punched me lightly on the side of the head; not enough to hurt, but hard enough to make a point. That point was: we could be open about almost anything, as long as we kept it to ourselves.
"So, what is it that you want to know?" she asked.
"Why do you take your shoes off as soon as you get outside?" I inquired.
"I don't like wearing them." she replied. "They're too confining. Why?"
"Oh," I responded, "I was just wondering."
"When you wonder with that look on your face, there's usually more." Donna prodded. "What's up?"
"Um, uh- nothing." I finally said.
"Like hell." Donna replied. "I know you better than you think. We've talked about some pretty personal things and there's nothing you can't ask me; well almost."
"Okay," I said, "I was just wondering... if you take your shoes off when you leave work, what do you do when you go camping?"
There, it was out. The question was obvious; did she like being naked outside. She could either say yes, no, or complain about sexual harassment, which I knew she would not do. We were too good of friends and it wasn't asked in that context anyway.
Donna looked at me with a stunned look on her face for several seconds, and I figured I was in for a good tongue lashing, complete with some words I hadn't heard before, but suddenly, she started to laugh.
"Yes, I find them
all
confining." she finally answered. "And I haven't been camping in years, but the last time I went, I was quite comfortable. Does that answer your question?"
I nodded.
"Yes. Yes it does. Thank you very much for answering my very personal, and out of line question. I shouldn't have asked you that."
"It wasn't out of line." Donna said reassuringly. "I told you, there's not too much you can't ask me or talk about with me. So, when's the last time you went camping?"
"A couple weeks ago." I replied. "Up at my cabin. Not really camping, but it's rustic."
"That's right; you have all that property up in the mountains." Donna responded. "I'd forgotten all about that. Well, the next time you go, you should try camping comfortably too."
"I have." I admitted.
"So
that's
why you asked me!" Donna exclaimed. "You sly little shit!"
"No! It wasn't like that all." I protested. "I really wanted to know if you just hated all clothes. Oh shit, I did it again."
"Uh-huh." Donna said disbelievingly. "By the way, Bobby has the kids this weekend."
Now, I may be a little slow when it comes to women and their hard-to-crack code of word games, but even I understood this clue.
"Perhaps you'd like to go up with me and spend a relaxing weekend in the mountains?" I inquired cautiously.
"Perhaps." Donna responded. "The weather's supposed to be nice. I could get an early start on my tan too."
I stood like an idiot for several seconds, while Donna let the time tick by as tortuously as possible.
"That meant 'yes,' you dork."
"Oh, yeah... I knew that." I fumbled. "We could leave from here on Friday afternoon."
"That'll work." Donna agreed. "Bobby will pick the kids up after they get home from school, and I don't need to be there. What will I need to bring?"
"Some old clothes and a sleeping bag. I'll have some MREs to eat. You can leave your car here and we'll just take the Jeep up. It's four wheel drive access only, in and out."
"Okay." Donna said with one of the slyest smiles I have ever seen on her face. "Now, let's try and finish out the work week without arousing any suspicion. Oh my god, did I just say, 'arousing?'"
I groaned in reply. Donna was not going to make this easy for me and Friday was still two days away.
*
Donna tossed her gear into the back of the Jeep, and we headed out. Of course her shoes were already off, so she was barefoot, and she was wearing a pink tank top and denim shorts.
"So how far is it?" she inquired, as we hit the interstate.
"About two hours." I replied. "It's Friday though, so we may hit some traffic."
"We'll still be there by 2 or 3." Donna noted. "That's plenty of time to get situated. Damn, I can't wait!"
"Really?"
"Yeah Dude! It's been like fifteen years since I got to do anything but step out on the patio at night after the kids were in bed. That's not very fun. We can actually go for walks up there, right?"
"Yes." I answered. "I have 50 acres and it's the smallest piece of land in the bunch. Other than one house about a half mile away, there's nothing in the area on about 500 acres. It's all just woods with a couple of small meadows, and the creek."
"The creek's on your place, right?"