Jens Facts Of Life

I have always had a voyeuristic streak in me which was compounded in my teen years by working for a double glazing firm -- at first on the phones in the evenings after school, and later, after completing A levels, going out door canvassing, trying to set up appointments for sales reps...

after a joy filled August working three hours an evening to earn a living wage, September arrived with shorter days and cooler nights...

my 19th birthday passed without any real excitement, and at work I was promoted to team manager which would have been fine if I had had a car...but I wasn't complaining.

So I managed to get some ads placed in the local press and in shop windows nearby. Watford has always been a thriving town with plenty of folks looking for extra money. It wasn't long before I had a bunch of people ages ranging from 17 to 36 wanting to earn extra cash, plus, as a bonus, the telecan room were throwing out anyone who wasn't getting appointments via phone, so I was always able to make up numbers by taking some of them out on street as well...

One evening we leapt into a taxi, headed off to some village outside of town and got knocking.

I had two women and a guy with me so I paired us up as boy+girl, boy+girl and advised that for safety we use a certain pub as a meet up point at 8.45pm, and as none of us had mobiles, we ought to stay within line of sight as often as possible...

My companion for the evening was Jen, a short redhead, much older than me but with the most amazing full red lips and devilish glint in her bright green eyes.

Around 7pm I realised I needed the loo badly but was too far from any nearby pubs. I asked Jen to finish up the rest of the street we were on and meet me on the next one, I would be five minutes I told her.

Fifteen minutes later I was "missing, presumed in trouble" by Jen who had decided to check the two nearby pubs and then run to the last place she had seen me and then start shouting my name out whilst strolling down a side alleyway leading to the canal...

I had nipped off for a pee and ended up climbing a tree to get a better view of a woman showering with a bathroom window wide open so that the frosted glass did not hide anything. The woman had started off soaping herself and scrubbing her hair but then on went the conditioner which of course had to be left in for a good five minutes, leaving her time to play with her breasts and then between her legs...

I watched her give herself an orgasm using the shower head between her legs. I imagined her knees trembling but saw only her facial expression and breasts heaving as she made herself come.

I was rock hard and suddenly heard my name being called. I guiltily climbed down from the tree and dusted myself just as Jen appeared... I had lost all track of time and was truly apologetic.

Jen was naturally easy going and joked that some guy had asked her if she had lost her dog, to which she had replied "no, my boss!"

We both laughed. I was flattered that she was bothered enough to find me whereas most people would have carried on and then gone to the pub for the agreed 8.45pm rendezvous.

Finally her eyes moved down my body and clocked my hard on.

"Oh" she gasped, "I guess you were being naughty? What have you been watching? A couple shagging? Some woman getting dressed?"

I felt myself blushing and calmly told her about the hottie jazzing herself in the shower. To my surprise Jen wasn't even remotely disgusted but rather seemed pleased by this.

"Not so much coitus interruptus as coitus voyeurupt-us?" she quipped.

I laughed and corrected her Latin by suggesting it would surely be "Voyeur interruptus"

We both laughed - her at my embarrassment and me at the daftness of the situation as I suddenly realised how drop dead gorgeous Jen was.

"So how big is it?" Jen asked.

"If you need to ask, it's not big enough for you." I teased. "Besides, I am a voyeur, not an exhibitionist!"

Jen hooted with delight.

"So where is this Miss Hottie now?" she asked, looking up at the block of flats for the first time, following my own gaze.

Our sporting female had now moved to the lounge which had french windows and a balcony.

The lights had gone on seconds earlier and a man was now in the flat with her... they started to kiss.

"First floor, big window with the balcony...looks like her fella has arrived home, maybe it's time to go, eh?"

"Hell no!" Jen said, "Things just got interesting for me now."

"I suppose it's only fair, I had my eye candy, you have yours now."

"Damn straight!" Jen chuckled.

So we watched as the snogging couple started to get frisky, and Jen's nipples were suddenly like hard bullets visible through her thin wool jumper. Suggesting either a thin bra was underneath or no bra at all.

"Is that tree big enough for two? She whispered.

It was a low slung weeping willow that gave us a 4 foot advantage to make it easier to see into the lounge, with further branches giving the option of another 4 feet but only with room for one person at a time...

So we climbed onto the main bough and snuggled together with me behind and her in front. Standing up, holding branches from surrounding chestnut trees.

Our show was getting interesting.

Eye candy man was removing Miss Hottie's bath robe and kissing his way down her body.

Miss Hottie lay down on the sofa, legs spread wide. Eye Candy man performed maybe 30 seconds of oral sex before unzipping and sliding a huge cock straight into her.

"Eh?" I heard myself saying, utterly bewildered.

"What?" Jen breathed.

"Call that foreplay? A real man would bring her off first with his tongue and then fuck her, surely?"

"If her gash is that wet, it can be better to just stick it in a girl, after all if a woman wants to be eaten out she can always find another woman to do it...and don't call me Shirley!"

I laughed nervously, thinking maybe Jen and I would not have any sexual compatibility after all.

I watched as they fucked like porn stars for what seemed like ages...

At one point I dared to kiss the back of Jen's neck and she let me.

Then silently she turned her head and her lips found mine.

We kissed awkwardly but tenderly. We settled back to watch the show.

Minutes passed

"You're quiet." Jen said

"Just trying to figure out how a man can satisfy a woman with such boring and mechanical fucking. I mean... he isn't kissing her or playing with her, just pumping away!"

"Well, my dear boy, when you grow up you will eventually learn the three basic facts of life: that men can't do two things at once, and that men always come first, and that men are always selfish!"

"I totally disagree..." I replied. "I can do several things at once, and I have been wanking myself stupid since age fourteen so being inside a woman would probably be too gentle a sensation to make me come."

"Are you a virgin?" she said.

"Sort of... I have eaten my fair share of pussy but almost always end up with Mrs Palm and her five daughters!"

Jen laughed. "You actually like the taste of pussy?"

"Yeah! I love to make a woman come...It gets me off."

"Would you do me?" she blurted out.

"Gladly" I replied. "At your place tonight?

She whimpered. Her wrist watch was telling us 8.30pm. "We need to meet the others"

"I know"

"So do I have to squelch back to my place before I can get anything from you?"

"Squelch?" I chuckled"

"Yuh" she gasped, "squelch!"

I sent my right hand on a brave adventure, to explore down her stretch-waist black denims.

In seconds my fingertips were clambering over soggy pubic hairs inadequately covered by skimpy and moist cotton panties.

A few more seconds and I had two fingers sliding effortlessly up her dripping cunt.

"ohhh kayyyy, you wanna climb up the tree a bit further and I can give you a quick munch?"

"I'd rather ride your cock right here in a kind of reverse cowgirl position".

I had never heard of that position but guessed what she meant.

I agreed, and slipped my left hand up her jumper to have a go at the bra whilst finger fucking her sopping twat with my right hand. It was a front loader boulder holder as we called them at school, so she just unclasped it herself.

My hard on returned, even stiffer than before with a sense of immediacy.

"Ok, I'll lay back on this other bough, you keep hold of one of those branches from the other trees and I will keep my hands on you"

She nodded, a sense of fierce concentration as she tried to lower herself safely on me whilst clutching a flimsy branch from the neighbouring horse chestnut tree.

Somehow I got her jeans and knickers down. With one hand I positioned my cock to enter her sopping wet growler and with another hand I kneaded and rubbed at her breasts. Gently but with increasing firmness.

She bounced and grinded and swayed and rocked on my pole and I placed both hands on her tits and carefully worked my way over her mounds with fingertips and hands, eventually just grabbing them and letting her ride me... her weight was not enough of a problem for me to stop her but it certainly prevented me from orgasming...I was semi hard but she was enjoying herself still...then I slipped out of her...quick as a flash I pulled my right hand off her right boob and started to give her a reach around, rubbing her slippery clit and finger fucking her hole like our lives depended on it. She groaned and came ...like a river... I licked my fingers... she twisted herself around to see me devouring her juices, licking my hand clean. She growled , a visceral animal lust in her eyes, and passionately kissed me, tasting herself in my mouth.

After what seemed like forever in an embrace I pulled away and reminded her we were late.

We fast walked down the road to the pub, arriving after 9pm, spotting the other two climbing into the taxi...we called to them, they were pleased to see us rather than angry but questions were asked about why we had been so late... I let Jen answer, and she came out with this story of how we had just been chatting to some mad old dear on her doorstep and to get away I had had to walk up and say to the old wrinkly "Sorry madam but I need to talk to my colleague here urgently!" and dragged her away.

Jen winked at me.

We got to the office, talked over bank details confirming payment would be in 9 days time straight into their bank accounts. The place was empty by 9.20pm. Jen said in a low voice "You didn't come?"

"No I didn't."

"Am I not enough for you?"

In later years this would be a common conversation with subsequent women. The whole thing of how my masturbation has made it difficult for me to ejaculate during real sex with a woman, even when in love. But for now I had to formulate my response for the very first time and all I could manage was "I have a lot of hang ups. I am terrified of getting a woman pregnant, I am scared of hurting a woman, and I am so used to having my hand on my dick anything else feels kinda weird."

She nodded. "Or you just don't fancy me."

Angrily I retorted that I would not have licked her juices off my fingers if I did not fancy her and I would not have had sex with her if I wasn't genuinely into her. I even ended up begging her for her phone number to go out for a drink some time and properly get to know one another.

She smiled and said she would take my number and call me some time. I was living with mum but gave the number hoping she would be discreet.

After parting ways it occured to me that we never really found out how our show had ended... did Miss Hottie and Mr Eye candy finish without us or retire to the bedroom? Neither of us had noticed.

A few days later I got a card delivered to the show room for my attention... it was a Thank You card and the message from Jen simply read:

"Thanks for teaching me the facts of life."