I was at the park with the kids. I'm a widower, with three small children. Young to be a widower, but these things happen.
It was a nice day and I had the day off work, so I'd grabbed the kids from the childminder and taken them to the park, where they were now entertaining themselves. They'd be good for an hour or more, burning off all that young energy. After that we'd stop at MacDonald's for lunch before I headed home.
Today, there was only one mother there besides me, with her two kids playing contentedly with mine while we just sat back and watched.
I was feeling bored and wanted to do something to spice things up, so I turned to the woman and told her quite flatly, "I'm bored. Do you mind if we take some us time so that I can have sex with you while we're watching the kids?"
She seemed to blink, turned to look at me and said "What?" as though she couldn't believe what she'd heard. I knew that she had as I speak quite distinctly, so I just waited while the message filtered through her disbelief and actually registered with her.
Then she gave me a cold look and said, "No. Are you crazy?"
"Not noticeably," I said. "Just very bored and hoping for an interesting diversion."
"You're bored so you ask a stranger for sex in the middle of the park," she said, sarcasm oozing out.
"That's right," I said happily, not noticing the sarcasm. "Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. Is it going to work this time?" I asked hopefully.
"No it's not," she snapped, looking away. Then her curiosity got the better of her.
"Do you mean that that line actually works sometimes?" she asked. "Here in the middle of the park with kids all round?"
"Sure," I said, "as long as we're careful."
She obviously couldn't believe me, and it niggled at her.
"You mean you've actually had sex here, in the park, with a mother, while her children are watching?"
"No," I said. "If you'll look you'll notice the kids aren't watching. They're playing their own games and are ignoring us. As long as we're here they'll be happy."
She was now really curious, sure I must be lying. After all, how could I possibly have sex here in the park in full view of the world. She kept her mouth shut for a while, trying to ignore me, but that itch to know was finally too strong.
"How could you do something like that?" she finally asked.
I laughed. "It's really quite easy," I pointed out. "If my prospective partner is wearing shorts or trousers we move around behind this seat and she leans against it. The seat covers her from the street and there are only fences behind us. Then I can just pull down her shorts or whatever and we have a little fun.