I have no trouble to analyse myself and so I know why I do get turned on by masturbation, particularly masturbation by girls. I started masturbation even before puberty myself, and despite that I have very open parents there always was this feeling of guilt which accompanied the wonderful feelings in my lower stomach. In those days, I didn't know what I was doing, it didn't have a name, it was just a naughty secret which made me feel both ashamed and aroused.
Luckily for me, books can teach a child a lot so, by the time was twelve I knew more about this so called secret, and I knew that I wasn't the only one doing it, far from it. But still the roots for my fascination, maybe even my obsession with masturbation where founded then and there. When I grew up further, and things between me and my friends got bolder and more open, I even got to know for certain what I till then had only read in book: people masturbated. They tended to like it, just as much as I, those details where not as freely shared as details of "common sex."
Especially girls weren't as open and free as I would like. Most of my female friends were very discreet about their solo-sex, and even after a very open talk few only admitted that they did it once in a while...and so my obsession only grew....
Statistics only told me about 60 % of the teenage girls did it...so 3 of 5 of the girls closest to me indulged in this private pleasure. The question was...which one?
My mind's eye was filled with confessions of them, where they told very detailed about how, when, what and where...and those fantasies sent me the most thrilling orgasms I even experienced. So to feed those fantasies, I became quite in expert in hearing girls out. Buy you...you always proved to be the most challenging one. When we met it was great, and even now, when we both just celebrated our 19th birthday, my obession with you and your solo sexlife only grew.
I was always attracted to you. You have a great sense of humour, you are nice and kind to everyone, and I found you very, very sexy. Maybe you aren't quite the looker that some models are, but something about your physical appearance made me really crave for you. Yeah, I know you are a shorty and always claim you are a bit curvy, but it only makes yu more appealing to me, just as your long black hair. It glowed with the blueish glow that you often see on Asian people, yet you are very pale, without looking unhealthy. Your eyes are dark too, and I could feel myself drown in them if I looked into them too long. Your breasts are not very big, but because she aren't very tall it appeared so. She herself aren't too thrilled with those ("Guys don't talk to me...they talk to my boobs," I can hear you say), and I don't really care about boob-size, but with you I had the idea that their seize is just perfect. I would love to do a whole lot of things to you, and have done so in my imagination, but nothing would turn me one more then to hear you confess to the very thing that I was doing when I thought you.
But fate wasn't kind on me. You always were a bit shy, and though you love to talk about various subjects, including sex, I could not discover whether you ever masturbated or not. I tried every trick I knew. I asked you straightforward, and you denied. I wasn't surprised by that, more girls did so, and later changed that. So I tried more and more. But even after I had confessed that I did it, where I loved to do it, since when I did it, how often I did it, you kept her own private affairs...well, private, even though you admitted that you didn't object to hearing my stories. You never told me they turned you on either. You did make some vague hints that you might not have told me the truth to the very question, and even later you told me that the things I told you made her so curious that you tried something yourself, but you never gave me details, you just looked at me and said: "Nah, I'm only kidding..." or something like that. Maybe you knew all along what you were doing to me. It would explain why you invited me over to watch the movie Sliver together, along with some other movies.
Of course, Sharon Stone masturbation scene had turned me on like hell, as well as several of the other voyeuristic scenes in the movie. It was the last movie we had to watch, and I decided to try and hear you out once more. Maybe you ware a bit excited herself, because you seemed more open then usual. You told me that you really had appreciated my honesty in such private matters, and I told her I was more then happy to do be so for you...if it could help you come to terms with urges and feelings of guilt that you might have. You just laughed and told me you had nothing to feel guilty about. That didn't help me much though, and it frustrated me as much as I got turned on by there very suggestion of you masturbating, but I just sat there and admired her. That's what I did when I awas with you and have nothing to say. You are looking very good today. You wore a black t-shirt, which was very tight, and a short skirt also black. Normally you didn't dress that way, but more descent. I guess you wer in a wild mood. I tried not to look at your breasts, but I thought I saw your nipples were hard. But again, I could not look very long because I still have some decency despite my own fixations. But somehow I think you saw the lust and adoration in my eyes, because she said: "I think I am gonna take a shower."