Fixations

FIXATIONS

By Dawn Ramble

This is a story about fantasies and where they can lead. I wonder if any of them are familiar to you? I have had a number of men friends share their fixations and fantasies with me, and while there are some unique and even bizarre ones, I've also come across some common themes. So, for the fourth time I'm going to tell a tale from a man's perspective (with a factual note from Cindy on her prior sexual history, which may seem shocking to some but isn't, at least in my experience, that unusual). I hope you enjoy it.

Let me start by saying that I'm Matt Randall, forty-one, married to Cindy, thirty-seven, for 12 years now; no kids. She's a biochemist working on research for a private sector company, although it's my understanding they do have some government contracts and that's as much as I know about that. I'm a writer and cartoonist mostly working at home, and that works for me.

We are currently on vacation to celebrate our wedding anniversary at an all-inclusive resort in the Caribbean. We arrived yesterday evening and now around a quarter after eight I wake Cindy by gently stroking her clit. Is she surprised? Hardly. We are both naked and the room is bathed in sunlight. I tend to wake around six, go out to the balcony where I sit outside reading. As we lie here Cindy leans over and grasps my growing erection and gently rubs it. She scrunches up to suck on it. While I slide two fingers into her cunt and rub a little lube into it.

As I give her a gentle push, she releases my cock from her mouth and rolls onto her back spreading her legs. I lift myself between them and gently enter her. My cock is more or less six inches in his erect state. Yes, I've had her measure it several times and it's always just a tad under, which frustrates me. I know I'm longer than average, but you know. She says, "Don't sweat the small stuff!" always with a chuckle, and adds, "it's a nice cock. Do you really think one eighth of an inch makes a difference to me?"

I try to get her to measure it differently but she's a scientist and takes measurement seriously. As I begin my gentle thrusting I lean in and kiss on the lips and say, "So how many cocks, have you really had?"

This is one of my fixations. When we married, I was twenty-nine, not a virgin but I had had only two girlfriends, the longer lasting one had been with a girl who treated her virginity like the Holy Grail, so no luck getting to home plate there. I fucked the other one a total of seven times, all very plain vanilla. Cindy found my innocence or ignorance rather charming and took my sexual education in hand. I liked that she knew a lot, but it always bothered me a little and from quite early on in our marriage I started asking her about her past.

Every time I do she just says, "When I married you I took a vow 'forsaking all others', and I treat it seriously. I hope you do."

Recently she's started emphasizing the word 'all', and adds, "What I did before we got engaged is not your business." That just makes me more curious. I mean she's told me all the other aspects of her life up until we met. She just doesn't give details her sex life.

We go through this stupid routine every second or third time we fuck, which at home is now about every two weeks. These thoughts are coursing through my mind while we fuck so I am not giving it my all and neither is she. I don't think she's even close. I finish and she feels my body jerk. We disengage and I go to shower before we breakfast.

Down here I imagine we'll be at it at least once a day. There's a nude beach, and that usually gets our juices going. Thankfully the forsaking others does not preclude voyeurism. I've mind-fucked quite a lot of women in the last few years, and I catch her admiring the really noticeable guys. I think she's also a bit of an exhibitionist, not one of those women who splay their legs either side of their lounger, but I've noticed that if a cute guy is ogling her, she may let her legs drift apart a little. If that arouses him, I don't think she's averse to a little mind-fucking and that's fair enough. We don't need 'thought police'.

The funny thing is we met on a nude beach at a Club Med. At that time, I was working in an accounting firm and hating it. So right after the usual family fiasco of Christmas I decided to treat myself to a trip south. I wasn't really aware of the nude beach when I booked, but as soon as I told friends they started nudging me. I'm naturally very shy and that really got them laughing. Just like now I arrived one evening and it wasn't till the following day, I got to explore. I say 'nude', it was technically clothing optional but when I sat in my t-shirt and baggy beach shorts, I got a lot of disapproving looks as if I were just there to gawk, which, at first, I was. One or two of the older women had bottoms on but there were naked breasts everywhere. Maybe fifteen women in total but that makes thirty naked breasts and I'd only seen four on my two girlfriends up to then. I could have spent the whole day just analyzing the similarities and differences.

Being shy I could not help blushing and becoming very self-conscious. I was about to leave when these two girls arrived and sat about fifteen feet from me. The ease and grace with which they stripped naked enthralled me and I had no choice but to drop my baggy shorts and pull off my t-shirt, I wasn't leaving. Realizing I needed more lotion I stood up and slathered it on. I was coating my groin when I saw one of the girls watching and promptly started popping a boner. She giggled and nudged her friend who turned. This girl was absolutely stunning.

I could not look away and we made eye contact before her eyes drifted South to my lotion covered erection. It wasn't absolutely rigid, but it was pretty much pointing straight at her. She got to her feet making direct eye contact and walked towards me. When she reached me she held out her hand and I went to shake it, but she batted my hand away saying, "sunscreen." I handed her the lotion and she made a circling movement with her hand in the air. The second time she made it I got it and turned my back towards her.

"We don't want your back to burn do we?"

That 'we' was music to my ears and that's how I met Cindy.

When Cindy was around thirty, and settled in her career, we decided it was time for babies. She came off the pill and we went back to having sex more frequently, especially when the timing seemed right. After two years we were not having any luck and decided to get tested. Turns out that I have no little swimmers, like zero. I produce plenty of semen so that's why we never guessed. We discussed all the options, but frankly I lost interest. As long as I have no problems with erections or reaching a successful climax and Cindy can get her big 'O's, it's all good. For her birthday we got a dog; Jackson is a lovely golden retriever.

While we're on the subject I have other fixations. They are fantasies which I believe many other men share. The first is that I like imagining us having sex in public places. The closest we've ever come is on a beach but the only other people there were a long way away, so I don't feel it counts. We have fucked in the sea on occasion, and I like to think people were watching. I didn't really come but Cindy definitely did, but denied it was because people were watching. She was just 'in the mood'.

I've embellished these as fantasies while we make out. In my telling the people on the beach gradually approach as she's giving me a blow job and as they get closer I spread her legs and enter her. Other people gather and some, both men and women, masturbate as they watch. In other retellings they are also taking photos or video recordings, as she raises her legs to my shoulders, and I pound into her. One time I said the guys masturbating were close enough to shoot cum right on her, but she said that was gross. The truth is the first few times I whispered these I knew she was really turned on, but after a while not so much.

One time a maid really did walk in on us as Cindy was sucking me off. We were of course both naked. When Cindy quickly released my dick the maid just stared. She probably wasn't more than twenty and very fuckable. She grinned at us and gave a little thumbs up before she left. I think Cindy enjoyed that as much as I did. Another time we were really fucking when I heard a faint tap on the door. Then there was another slightly louder, but I continued fucking Cindy. I heard a loud gasp and a moment later the door closed. I paused and Cindy pulled on my hips and said, "fuck me for Christsake!"

Afterwards she swore she had never heard the knocking, and I pretended I hadn't either. She said it was embarrassing to have someone come into the room when we were 'fucking our brains out' (her words not mine).

For a long time, I've had this other fantasy about Cindy fucking with some other man while I watch. When I first told her I knew she found it an amusing and especially arousing fantasy, as I described what he was doing to her with his large cock. Sometimes it was part of the beach fantasy; sometimes in a hotel room; sometimes he's foreign, sometimes he's black, but he's always got a larger than average cock. We had a lot of good sex with many retellings but now she increasingly complains that the repetition becomes tedious. That's what she says but she still gets aroused as I embellish the details, and so do I.

"Perhaps she's tired of the make believe," I thought as we lay in bed, "What if it's a realizable goal not just a fantasy?"

This morning, as I say, I try asking how many cocks she's had and get the "none of your business" reply. Stupid! This approach only annoys her.

"Is now the time?" I wonder.

"Cindy?"

"Yes?"

"You know my thing about you fucking other men?"

"Yes?"

"What would you say if I wanted you to do it for real?"

"I'd say you should be very careful what you wish for."

Over breakfast I continued to ponder over her answer. I mean it wasn't

"No, I would never do that," was it?

[From Cindy: I got pregnant when I was barely eighteen. After my 'D&C' my doctor gave me a lecture about risks and prescribed the pill. At university I had various relationships with boys. The longest lasted nearly a year, but others were shorter ranging from three weeks to four or five months. They tended to end when I met someone new, so I was rarely without a fuck for more than a couple of weeks. I'll also point out I had not sworn fidelity to anyone and on more than one occasion I'll admit I fucked someone other than my then boyfriend. Does that make me a slut, I don't feel like one. I only ever fucked one boy at a time, never more, absolutely no gang bangs.

So, what does that all mean? By the time Matt and I became an item, I believe I had fucked around forty guys and probably had more than eight hundred actual fucks. Sounds a lot, but over four or five years is it really? I mean when Matt and I were going together, we were doing it every day or two and that continued for a few years before dropping off to once a week and now about once every two weeks. I have never had a problem with orgasms, big or most frequently small, although I rarely get there just with his penis. He is still not the most inventive when it comes to foreplay. I like positions where I can bring myself off while we fuck, and Matt doesn't mind watching if I finish with a toy.]

The more I think about it I figure she's really telling me she's ready if the occasion arises. You know, the right guy, the right circumstances and all that. I'm not wanting us to be swingers. I just want to see some other guy fuck her. I have to be able to watch so the guy also has to be willing, I mean the me watching part. A dude would have to be crazy not to want to fuck her. She's constantly exercising and has the good fortune to have the genes that give her a body to die for. Just seeing guys watch her on a nude beach is enough to make you cum. I mean I get my share of looks from women but nothing like Cindy does from the men.

Later that morning we are on the nude beach. It's not overly crowded but there are people of all ages and there's a European vibe to the place. Strictly speaking it's clothing optional and some of the women are just topless, but most are au naturel as they say. There's one dork who is wearing beach shorts, and two guys wearing banana pouches, one practically transparent. The rest of the guys like me are letting it all hang loose. Cindy and I sit towards the back; she likes to sit well back on her lounger with her legs stretched in front of her. I get up and wander down towards the water letting my slightly aroused cock swing gently in the breeze. I know I'm not big big but still bigger than average, and I stroll up and down casually letting the ladies see. One lady has her phone in hand, and I pause in front of her looking out to sea. Then I turn and look like I'm looking at something further back.

The truth is behind my mirrored sunglasses I'm watching her, and I'm rewarded by seeing her covertly snap a photo or two of my dick. I feel it stiffen in response and as it stretches towards her she takes another. I move on with my tumescent cock leading the way. Far from a full erection but chubby and hanging away from my body. Others watch but nobody else has a phone out; photography on this beach is strictly forbidden. I wander back across a few rows back and gather more mostly approving looks. When I get back to Cindy she's smiling, and she studies my cock.

"Looks like you enjoyed that", she says.

Yes I did. I sit on my lounger lift up my Kobo and begin to read. It's Cindy's turn to get up and she strolls down to the water attracting eyes to her tight bum like tintacks to a magnet. She enters the water and dives into the breaking waves. As she swims out a number of guys of different ages feel the need for a swim. When she swims back she is quickly engaged in conversation with three of them who are enjoying a close-up view of her tits. She shakes her head causing her hair to throw off a spray of seawater and runs her hands down over her breasts causing her nipples to harden. She makes it seem so natural, but she has never denied the pleasure she gets in flirting.

Two of the guys depart with smiles and waves, but the last guy is still talking, and she is listening and smiling. When they emerge from the water he sits back down on his lounger, and she continues talking standing in front of him with her legs astride. Not much he can't see, I figure. She casually rubs her tits again and widens her stride, although now she's looking back over towards me. Then, as if realizing the view that she's giving him, she closes her legs, says "bye" or something and comes back to me attracting looks all the way.

"You enjoyed that," I say.

"I hope you did too."

This behavior isn't new. It's part of our public sex playing just casual exhibitionism.

"Who's your boyfriend?" I ask.

"His name is Denis, he's British, accent and all."

"Sounds great! Would you like to fuck him?"

Cindy just smiles at me.

"No really, is he fuckworthy?"

"Yes, he is. Quite a lot of men are but it doesn't mean I going to fuck them all. Grow up and get over it."

I let it go, and Cindy starts reading her book and I go back to mine. Five minutes later a couple of guys wander over our way and pause to talk in front of our loungers. As they stand there they keep glancing towards Cindy and her crotch. She seems to be lost in her book, but I see her legs drift apart a little which must provide them with a bit of a view of her neatly shaven mons and pussy lips. I see the one guy's dick give a little twitch. They are both chubby and average length I would say. Her legs drift some more and they both stare for a second. She looks up directly at them and they look away. The one is blushing as they move away.

"You tease," I say.

"What? I just noticed them."

We go back to our books.

A bit later she says, "How about a swim before lunch?"

"Sure!"

We walk down to the water and swim about. At one point I slide up behind her and put my cock against her bum crack. She pushes back against me and wiggles her arse. She once asked me if I was one of those guys who wanted to stick it in her bum. I panicked and lied and said, "Don't be disgusting!"

Right now, I feel myself getting hard. She turns around and grasps my growing cock well below the ocean's surface and gently strokes it. That's all it needs. She lets go and swims away. I follow and about another thirty yards out there is a sand bar on which we can stand. As I reach it, she sinks down and floats on her back and I step in close pulling her hips to mine. She reaches down and pulls my cock against her crotch, and I slide into her. A further push and I'm properly in her, so easy.

She was clearly ready. As I said we have done this before and at her insistence we slide back and forth with the minimum of disturbance not making it obvious what we are doing. She must be very aroused for more quickly than is usual when we have sex in bed she pulls on my hips and reaches for my shoulders pulling her tits against my chest. This buries my cock deeper as she lifts and drops herself in rhythm with my thrusts. She muffles her cry against my chest as her pelvic muscles tighten and she releases me and lets herself fall back into the water. As we disengage I am pumping semen into the sea around me. This is the first time I have actually climaxed when we do this, so I'm delighted.

I look round. Nobody is pointing, or indicating they saw us, which I find a pity, although complaints to the resort would not be good. Cindy swims around and then she heads back to the beach, and I follow. Luckily having come, my cock is rapidly shrinking and is no more than a little chubby as I step on to the sand. Cindy is already standing talking to what's his name.

"Matt meet Denis," she says as they turn towards me. He smiles and sticks out his hand saying, "Hello Matt."

I respond with, "Hi Denis." He looks to be in his mid-twenties, very British but with a good all-over tan, not dark but a uniform bronze. He didn't arrive yesterday. He's about my height, six-foot (I'm a tad under) with a lean sinewy body and strong shoulders. I couldn't help noticing that his cock is at least five inches hanging straight down without any sign of arousal. He must be a shower, I think.

"Denis was just telling me he lives here," says Cindy.

"Must be nice," I say, "what do you do?"

"I'm sports director here at the resort and I am also the on-site PADI certified scuba diving instructor. Are you enjoying your stay with us?"

"Well, we just got her last night but so far so good." Cindy is letting me carry the conversation and Denis looks back and forth between us as we chat. After about fifteen minutes we go our separate ways.

As we sit down I say to Cindy, "He's quite the young stud isn't he? I can see why you thought he was fuckworthy. However, being in close proximity to you didn't seem to light his fire, so maybe he's gay."

"I can promise you he isn't. When I was standing in front of him for a few minutes earlier on and he could practically sniff my pussy, he started growing, not fully but enough it was embarrassing him. So, I took a moment and left."

"So how big was he?"

"I don't know."

"Come on, I figure him for a shower."

"I think you're wrong. Just sitting there, he had to be closer to seven inches than six and I don't think he was done."

"So, you did notice."

"Not easy to miss."

"Have you had one that big before?"

"You know I don't answer those questions, but in this case the answer is 'No'."

"Would you like to?"

"If your question is hypothetical, then my answer is it could be interesting, but only if he knows what he's doing."